Anonymous wrote:We had 4 names in my home country, which included my mom's maiden name.

I tried to do that with my kids here. Submitted 4 names on the form at the hospital... and they deleted my maiden name since it only had room for 3.

How is that even possible? Where were these kids born?
Mine were born in DC and all 4, no one blinked an eye.

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why get so precious?
Regardless, feminist women are kidding themselves with “keeping their names.” We have a patriarchal naming system, so if anything, you are just keeping and “passing on” your DAD’s name.

Seriously, it’s one dude’s name or another (your husband’s or your dad’s!)

This is such a tired argument. The name I was born with is my name; I've had it my whole life as a person, including when I was adult enough to decide to get married. Why is it only my dad's name?

Is your 2nd middle name your mom's maiden name? If not, why saddle your kid with extra names? The name given at birth will be their name their whole life, not just their dad's name.

Yes, my 2nd middle name is my mother's maiden name. It's never been a problem, but I travel in fairly international circles. My kids have 4 names, and yes, it works for us. What is the problem? I literally don't understand your point.

Because whatever name you give the kid is "their" name. One middle, 2, none, whatever. Your argument makes no sense.

The person you are quoting here. I re-read your first message about how whatever name they chose will be their name their whole life, not just their dad's name. I couldn't agree more; that's why when I didn't change my name upon marriage I had zero issues with the fact that it was originally my dad's name-- it was my name, too.

At the same time, perhaps in large part because I didn't change my name upon marriage (and I will point out - neither did my DH), and because their last name was going to be my husband's last name, I wanted my last name in my kids' names somewhere, too. So, we gave them 4 names in total.

To me, it's been a complete non-issue. We travel a LOT - multiple passports on both sides. 4 kids; no issues whatsoever.

Anonymous wrote:We had 4 names in my home country, which included my mom's maiden name.

I tried to do that with my kids here. Submitted 4 names on the form at the hospital... and they deleted my maiden name since it only had room for 3.

I don’t believe you. Either this happened 50 years ago through sheer incompetence or you’re making it up. I gave my children 4 names without issue and know countless others who have done the same.

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Anonymous wrote:Just do one middle name

+1

No one wants FOUR names. No one. It looks and sounds dumb.

The ignorance of Americans is astounding.

Much of the world uses 4 names.

If you are an American raising kids in America, then the American naming tradition should apply. What others do in other countries doesn’t matter.

and we can all guess your politics ... 'merica.

Not even close!

Lifelong bleeding heart liberal with a social justice warrior job in DC.

I hyphenated my last name and gave it to my kids.

That’s one commonly accepted approach in America. Another is to use the maiden name as a middle name. In the south, some traditionalists use double-barreled first names (some even hyphenate them).

It seems odd to embrace a non-American naming concept if you are American and raising kids in America where they will be using American forms based on American naming conventions.

No clue why you felt compelled to make a political assumption and inject politics into this discussion. Sadly, that speaks volumes about how far we’ve fallen into dangerous divisiveness.

Yeah, it’s so uncool! All the cool kids have 3 names.

?

Nobody said it was cool or uncool.

It’s a societal norm, and our country’s databases are set up for 3 names. That’s just a fact. If you want to buck the system and create a potential headache for yourself and your child, go for it.

But, I’m still curious what the goal is? If you actually want the name to be used, known or live on, then you should formalize it in a traditional way accepted in the US and by US systems. Otherwise it’s likely to fall by the wayside.

Nobody will call your kid James Alexander Malcolm McKenzie Fraser. He’s just Jamie Fraser. His own kids will struggle to remember his name, and his grandchildren certainly won’t know it. What’s the point?

DP. You sound more and more ignorant (and worse) every time you post. My *American* DH grew up here and has four names, like our kids do, who are also *American.* Neither he nor our kids have ever struggled with having four names. God you sound awful, though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents did what you're describing OP. To be honest I don't love it - it doesn't fit on most forms and can be confusing what my actual legal name is. That being said, mine is a very long and hard to pronounce name so if yours is one syllable as you say it may be better. I would have preferred my parents just dropped my "first" middle name and named me FIRSTNAME MOMSLASTNAME DADSLASTNAME.

I posted the above and after seeing this thread take off I'm pretty sure I'm the only person with this name situation who has responded? I wouldn't tell my parents that I hate having the extra name-- it would make them feel bad, but it is really annoying and inconvenient. It is normal in some cultures but it isn't in ours and it makes every legal form difficult, cumbersome, and confusing. Seriously. There have been so many times in my life when it has caused issues -- airport, security documents, drivers license, background checks, graduations, etc etc. I'm getting married soon and planning to drop the extra middle name when I change my last name.

My adult and almost adult kids have four names and they wouldn't agree with this, based on what they've told me. They seem to like it and are planning a similar model for their own kids.

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Anonymous wrote:I did this and as the kids are near adults I am so glad that I did. They like it too (they have told me). We actually did four names: First Middle MyLastName HisLastName.

Thanks! OP here. That’s helpful to hear. And they didn’t have any issues with filling out forms and such?

Sorry I just saw this. PP here. No, never any problems.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do one middle name

+1

No one wants FOUR names. No one. It looks and sounds dumb.

The ignorance of Americans is astounding.

Much of the world uses 4 names.

If you are an American raising kids in America, then the American naming tradition should apply. What others do in other countries doesn’t matter.

and we can all guess your politics ... 'merica.

Not even close!

Lifelong bleeding heart liberal with a social justice warrior job in DC.

I hyphenated my last name and gave it to my kids.

That’s one commonly accepted approach in America. Another is to use the maiden name as a middle name. In the south, some traditionalists use double-barreled first names (some even hyphenate them).

It seems odd to embrace a non-American naming concept if you are American and raising kids in America where they will be using American forms based on American naming conventions.

No clue why you felt compelled to make a political assumption and inject politics into this discussion. Sadly, that speaks volumes about how far we’ve fallen into dangerous divisiveness.

There is no US naming convention. Choosing a name based on what fits on a government form is ridiculous.

I also don’t understand why anyone would care what other people name their kids.

It's not ridiculous. I want it to be convenient for my kids. And for things not to be a hassle.

I say this as someone who gave my kids ethnic (to my heritage) names.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both of our kids have my last name as their (ONE) middle name.

Do this

Same

My children have four names - with my last name as a second middle name. No issue with forms/IDs. The oldest uses first and last name on most things (work, Linkedin, etc), but has/had all four on things like diplomas. The second uses the initials of both middle names - again no issues. We'll see what the third will do (still in high school)>
On the other hand, a few of my nieces/nephews have hyphenated names and have run into problems with "official forms" with the hyphen being left out.
DW and I didn't hyphenate our children's because of the length of the surnames (one is two syllables, the other three). Regardless, we are naming our children not future generations. Among our nieces and nephews one has given his children his hyphenated surname name, another one only one of the surnames from his parents, and a third is using part of her birth surname and her husband's surname. So the naming convention is all over the map in our extended family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do one middle name

+1

No one wants FOUR names. No one. It looks and sounds dumb.

The ignorance of Americans is astounding.

Much of the world uses 4 names.

If you are an American raising kids in America, then the American naming tradition should apply. What others do in other countries doesn’t matter.

and we can all guess your politics ... 'merica.

Not even close!

Lifelong bleeding heart liberal with a social justice warrior job in DC.

I hyphenated my last name and gave it to my kids.

That’s one commonly accepted approach in America. Another is to use the maiden name as a middle name. In the south, some traditionalists use double-barreled first names (some even hyphenate them).

It seems odd to embrace a non-American naming concept if you are American and raising kids in America where they will be using American forms based on American naming conventions.

No clue why you felt compelled to make a political assumption and inject politics into this discussion. Sadly, that speaks volumes about how far we’ve fallen into dangerous divisiveness.

There is no US naming convention. Choosing a name based on what fits on a government form is ridiculous.

I also don’t understand why anyone would care what other people name their kids.

+1

I have two middle names, it is not a hassle. I love them. My DC also has two middle names. I hope DC will love it as well. Admittedly none are “last names”.

We had 4 names in my home country, which included my mom's maiden name.

I tried to do that with my kids here. Submitted 4 names on the form at the hospital... and they deleted my maiden name since it only had room for 3.

My kids all have my name as their middle name.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do one middle name

+1

No one wants FOUR names. No one. It looks and sounds dumb.

The ignorance of Americans is astounding.

Much of the world uses 4 names.

If you are an American raising kids in America, then the American naming tradition should apply. What others do in other countries doesn’t matter.

and we can all guess your politics ... 'merica.

Not even close!

Lifelong bleeding heart liberal with a social justice warrior job in DC.

I hyphenated my last name and gave it to my kids.

That’s one commonly accepted approach in America. Another is to use the maiden name as a middle name. In the south, some traditionalists use double-barreled first names (some even hyphenate them).

It seems odd to embrace a non-American naming concept if you are American and raising kids in America where they will be using American forms based on American naming conventions.

No clue why you felt compelled to make a political assumption and inject politics into this discussion. Sadly, that speaks volumes about how far we’ve fallen into dangerous divisiveness.

There is no US naming convention. Choosing a name based on what fits on a government form is ridiculous.

I also don’t understand why anyone would care what other people name their kids.

You can google American naming conventions. Or naming conventions for any country. It’s a thing…established by generations of confirming to societal norms and traditions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do one middle name

+1

No one wants FOUR names. No one. It looks and sounds dumb.

The ignorance of Americans is astounding.

Much of the world uses 4 names.

If you are an American raising kids in America, then the American naming tradition should apply. What others do in other countries doesn’t matter.

and we can all guess your politics ... 'merica.

Not even close!

Lifelong bleeding heart liberal with a social justice warrior job in DC.

I hyphenated my last name and gave it to my kids.

That’s one commonly accepted approach in America. Another is to use the maiden name as a middle name. In the south, some traditionalists use double-barreled first names (some even hyphenate them).

It seems odd to embrace a non-American naming concept if you are American and raising kids in America where they will be using American forms based on American naming conventions.

No clue why you felt compelled to make a political assumption and inject politics into this discussion. Sadly, that speaks volumes about how far we’ve fallen into dangerous divisiveness.

There is no US naming convention. Choosing a name based on what fits on a government form is ridiculous.

I also don’t understand why anyone would care what other people name their kids.