Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 18:50     Subject: Re:If you are divorced and will never remarry
Anonymous wrote:You folks who “have your own retirement” and will never remarry, just curious what is your income and net worth?


$190/yr

IRA $1.5M
Retirement $60K/yr
House will be paid off at 62
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 18:46     Subject: Re:If you are divorced and will never remarry
Anonymous wrote:I'm 52. I divorced 2 years ago. I have no interest in dating or remarrying. I am straight and cis, and I've had remarkably bad relationships with men throughout my adult life. Not just in my personal life, but also at work. I'm a lawyer and most male lawyers aren't worth the cost of the bullet it would take to blow them to hell.

I want nothing to do with men in my personal life. I am perfectly happy with a vibrator and a weekly massage appointment and hanging out with friends.


I love this! My ex h is a lawyer. I was planning to go to law school when I met him and he talked me out of it. Always regretted not doing it. I love your post!
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 18:30     Subject: Re:If you are divorced and will never remarry
Anonymous wrote:I'm 52. I divorced 2 years ago. I have no interest in dating or remarrying. I am straight and cis, and I've had remarkably bad relationships with men throughout my adult life. Not just in my personal life, but also at work. I'm a lawyer and most male lawyers aren't worth the cost of the bullet it would take to blow them to hell.

I want nothing to do with men in my personal life. I am perfectly happy with a vibrator and a weekly massage appointment and hanging out with friends.


You are extremely funny and probably too smart and accomplished for a male ego to know how to interact with you. You are awesome and I applaud you. Enjoy it all!!!

Im a slightly younger, much less awesome version of you. I want to print this out and tape it to the fridge
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 18:15     Subject: Re:If you are divorced and will never remarry
Anonymous wrote:I'm 52. I divorced 2 years ago. I have no interest in dating or remarrying. I am straight and cis, and I've had remarkably bad relationships with men throughout my adult life. Not just in my personal life, but also at work. I'm a lawyer and most male lawyers aren't worth the cost of the bullet it would take to blow them to hell.

I want nothing to do with men in my personal life. I am perfectly happy with a vibrator and a weekly massage appointment and hanging out with friends.


Hahaha. Maybe a plumber?
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 18:06     Subject: Re:If you are divorced and will never remarry
I'm 52. I divorced 2 years ago. I have no interest in dating or remarrying. I am straight and cis, and I've had remarkably bad relationships with men throughout my adult life. Not just in my personal life, but also at work. I'm a lawyer and most male lawyers aren't worth the cost of the bullet it would take to blow them to hell.

I want nothing to do with men in my personal life. I am perfectly happy with a vibrator and a weekly massage appointment and hanging out with friends.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 18:04     Subject: Re:If you are divorced and will never remarry
Anonymous wrote:I’ve been divorced 10 years and I’ve had a SO for seven years. We keep our assets separate but we share all HH expenses and have separate CC’s for our own things. It’s really ideal as our adult children don’t worry about shared marital assets. We definitely live the life of a married couple but without the legal hassles.


That sounds like the way to do it if cohabitating.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 18:04     Subject: Re:If you are divorced and will never remarry
Anonymous wrote:You folks who “have your own retirement” and will never remarry, just curious what is your income and net worth?


Why does that matter? I have enough to not stay in a miserable marriage. I am a nonprofit worker. I started saving at 21. My ex and I had nearly equal amounts in retirement.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 18:03     Subject: Re:If you are divorced and will never remarry
Anonymous wrote:You folks who “have your own retirement” and will never remarry, just curious what is your income and net worth?[/quote/]

Why does that matter? I have enough to not stay in a miserable marriage. I am a nonprofit worker. I started saving at 21. My ex and I had nearly equal amounts in retirement.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 17:57     Subject: Re:If you are divorced and will never remarry
I’ve been divorced 10 years and I’ve had a SO for seven years. We keep our assets separate but we share all HH expenses and have separate CC’s for our own things. It’s really ideal as our adult children don’t worry about shared marital assets. We definitely live the life of a married couple but without the legal hassles.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 17:56     Subject: Re:If you are divorced and will never remarry
You folks who “have your own retirement” and will never remarry, just curious what is your income and net worth?
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 17:31     Subject: Re:If you are divorced and will never remarry
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Woman here. Our marriage was a mistake from the beginning. A horrible 10 years. I regret not getting out immediately—I was strongly considering it. I do not feel I was ever really married. I would never ever do it again. I saw no advantage. Only one-sided sacrifice on my side with nothing in return. It was a complete waste and see no reason why another marriage at my age (mid 40s) would be worth it.


You have posted about this before. Of all the posts on this thread, you sound just angry and bitter. Therapy might help you accept the past and move on, and figure out your role in it. Marriage didn’t just happen to you - you dated first, got to know your spouse and made lots of decisions to get there. It’s hard to believe that the day after you got married your spouse complete dropped the mask and became someone else. Based on your posts, the marriage was literally terrible from day one. How does that even happen?


It happened because we were long distance for a year. I wanted to break up. He wanted to her married. I had strong family pressure. I was in my early 30s and my family thought I was “old.” I am convinced if long distance never happened we would have never gotten married (we were long distance and had to make a decision. My lease was ending…were we going to do another year long distance? No. I had a lot of pressure. I wanted to cancel the engagement all the way up to the altar: I was told that would be a mistake. Well, my gut was right. But I caved to pressure ….that kind of pressure makes you question yourself.

We did not have sex on our honeymoon or hardly at all ever…yes, it was bad and a mistake from day one. We were never really emotionally or physically connected.


Most of this feels eerily familiar for me, except I called off the engagement. Got a lot of sh*t for it from his friends (none from my family, surprisingly), but I didn't see the point of pressing through with the wedding just to divorce a couple of years later. We're both much better off without each other.


You did it right. I wanted our early (again told to stay and I did not know what I was doing). I was married for 10 years. Such a waste of time.


Sounds like you really have no one to blame but yourself. Surprised that in your 30s you were letting other people make major life decisions for you.



I made a mistake. This happens more than you think. My ex husband made the mistake of keeping us in it for that long. My mistake was letting him and others influence me when I felt it was not right. I know many people who found themselves in these situations up until age 40 with family pressure. It is not that uncommon.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 16:12     Subject: If you are divorced and will never remarry
Anonymous wrote:I'm 55 now. Divorced at 36. Never found the right person and I doubt at this age that I will. Plus, I have my own money and plans for my future retirement that are non-negotiable.


+1

I'm 52, divorced at 27. I used to say that I would try marriage again but as I rarely go out to socialize, it's hardly likely to happen. My thoughts are on retirement too.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 16:01     Subject: If you are divorced and will never remarry
I'm 55 now. Divorced at 36. Never found the right person and I doubt at this age that I will. Plus, I have my own money and plans for my future retirement that are non-negotiable.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 15:50     Subject: Re:If you are divorced and will never remarry
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who is the church lady on here condemning posters discussing divorce and remarriage? Get lost curmudgeon!


Amen!


Lately it feels like there's 3-5 contrarian trolls in many forums. Politics forum gets a pass. College forum too bc they're indescribably nuts over there. Find myself popping in less because I just want to shout profanities at Marley, Lindsey & Barb 🤬 -pp


I’m not convinced there’s more than one, two max. And I’m sure one of them is a dude.

Regardless, the stories of the contented will-never-remarry, from BOTH sexes (some guys have kindly shared their experiences), are great. Good for you all!
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2021 15:22     Subject: Re:If you are divorced and will never remarry
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who is the church lady on here condemning posters discussing divorce and remarriage? Get lost curmudgeon!


Amen!


Lately it feels like there's 3-5 contrarian trolls in many forums. Politics forum gets a pass. College forum too bc they're indescribably nuts over there. Find myself popping in less because I just want to shout profanities at Marley, Lindsey & Barb 🤬 -pp