Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Her friends really failed her.
By allowing her autonomy and giving her the privacy she requested?
I agree blaming the friends is uncool. They had no reason to think she'd do something dumb like swim in rough seas at night.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Her friends really failed her.
By allowing her autonomy and giving her the privacy she requested?
You are in a foreign country, you do not let your friends go off with a stranger with at least a cell phone or way to contact. And she requested privacy while drunk or high? Yeah no I’m not abiding by your request. I stand by my assessment that those were lousy friends.
Well, she chose them.
At the end, this is the issue.
She chose to go to the DR.
She chose to be in this company of girls.
She chose to go with that guy.
She chose to be at the beach late at night when there were rough waves.
Maybe it is hard for the 'important family' to accept these voluntary decisions because they all led to an unfortunate outcome.
Blaming others for acts of volition is a hard argument to make.
I’m confused, you think I’m family? No I’m a woman in Maryland who learned about this case right here on DCUM.
She made bad and very naïve decisions and yet her friends also failed her.
NP. Both posters points are correct.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Her friends really failed her.
By allowing her autonomy and giving her the privacy she requested?
You are in a foreign country, you do not let your friends go off with a stranger with at least a cell phone or way to contact. And she requested privacy while drunk or high? Yeah no I’m not abiding by your request. I stand by my assessment that those were lousy friends.
Well, she chose them.
At the end, this is the issue.
She chose to go to the DR.
She chose to be in this company of girls.
She chose to go with that guy.
She chose to be at the beach late at night when there were rough waves.
Maybe it is hard for the 'important family' to accept these voluntary decisions because they all led to an unfortunate outcome.
Blaming others for acts of volition is a hard argument to make.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OMG her friends went on a day trip without even looking for her?!
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14485901/amp/joshua-riibe-sudiksha-konanki-dominican-republic-missing.html
Have a bad feeling about this huge guy, could be another Natalie Holloway.
Claiming she was not seen out of water and that she was, which is it? If he saw her after the water, where is she?!!!
Well, her "friends" aren't much better.
We need to do a better job teaching kids how to identify who your friends are and how to be better friends. I feel terrible for this family. Tragic.
Who are you to judge that?
Well, let's see...They hadn't seen their friend since around 4:00 a.m. and didn't know where she was in a foreign country but thought they'd just go on a day trip?!
How were they going to reach her if 1. She didn't have her phone on her, 2. Or they tried reaching her but she didn't pick up maybe because they thought she was still sleeping or with that guy? 3. Things werent known at time of them going on a day trip? Didn't read all the reports to know if any of those questions were answered.
Was the guy known to them on that trip prior to that night? One of the young woman's friend could have stayed with her tho on the beach (being a better friend). Does anyone actually know what occurred before the friends left to go back to the hotel and her staying on beach?
No. Friend's job was to tell her why this is a bad idea and to inform resort desk that she didn't come back at night before going for the scheduled trip. She wasn't required to put herself in danger at night at beach in a foreign country with a drunk male.
Kids go to places like DR to be irresponsibly drunk and for casual hook ups. With that implicit understanding, one's friends will not stand in the way of actualizing that goal.
Sorry, DR is not Disneyland.
Exactly. I think a number of posters on this thread did not have traditional American college experiences.
Plenty of people on here let their kids go to beach week or have parties where they serve alcohol. A kid is sitting in Arlignton county jail right now after killing his friend from a drunk driving accident whole being so completely hammered and “supervising” a freshman high school party.
Most parents DO NOT CONDONE this. I never did. My adult sons are very successful and never felt the need to get wasted. As my son is in medical school this is frowned upon.
You don't know everything your children do. I am a very successful female adult, went to an Ivy, got great grades and never caused my parents any trouble. I didn't even drink for most of college. However, I made a ton of stupid naive mistakes in college that could've turned out poorly if things happened differently.
Yes, but you are an American. Sudiksha’s parents are culturally Indian and were raised in India.
In India, good girls (ie - the upper caste / intelligent girl), would never behave in such a fashion. What would happen if a girl were to behave in this way and word got out? The whole family could be dishonored by such shameful behavior. People talk you know.
No. Sudiksha is a good girl, as father has already stated.
If she's such a good girl, what's up with all those selfies of her in tight clothing, or scantily clad or looking to show cleavage?
This girl's parents may be culturally Indian, but she didn't seem to be given that she was engaged in what I consider slatternly American college girl behavior by going to some poor country that has nothing else going for it but notoriety for drunken spring break escapades.
It wasn't like she was in the DR for anthropology studies or looking to help the self-imploding Haitian nation next door.
Oh shut up, judgmental cow.
Nice. When there is no good rebuttal, resort to telling the other party to shut up is very convincing.
"Slatternly college girl?" You can eff right off, lady.
Yeah, keep trying to tell yourself she's a nice Indian girl stumbling on the walk with her arm around a guy she met less than a week prior.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Her friends really failed her.
By allowing her autonomy and giving her the privacy she requested?
You are in a foreign country, you do not let your friends go off with a stranger with at least a cell phone or way to contact. And she requested privacy while drunk or high? Yeah no I’m not abiding by your request. I stand by my assessment that those were lousy friends.
Well, she chose them.
At the end, this is the issue.
She chose to go to the DR.
She chose to be in this company of girls.
She chose to go with that guy.
She chose to be at the beach late at night when there were rough waves.
Maybe it is hard for the 'important family' to accept these voluntary decisions because they all led to an unfortunate outcome.
Blaming others for acts of volition is a hard argument to make.
I’m confused, you think I’m family? No I’m a woman in Maryland who learned about this case right here on DCUM.
She made bad and very naïve decisions and yet her friends also failed her.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Her friends really failed her.
By allowing her autonomy and giving her the privacy she requested?
You are in a foreign country, you do not let your friends go off with a stranger with at least a cell phone or way to contact. And she requested privacy while drunk or high? Yeah no I’m not abiding by your request. I stand by my assessment that those were lousy friends.
Well, she chose them.
At the end, this is the issue.
She chose to go to the DR.
She chose to be in this company of girls.
She chose to go with that guy.
She chose to be at the beach late at night when there were rough waves.
Maybe it is hard for the 'important family' to accept these voluntary decisions because they all led to an unfortunate outcome.
Blaming others for acts of volition is a hard argument to make.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This story is so sad. I feel like girls especially have it drilled in their head to look out for their friends and yet this sort of thing happens. I wonder if she had known the boy for a few days so had an illusion of safety and so did her friends.
+10000
I could easily list all my near misses, too.
Very familiar with their area in LOCO so speak from experience. Major cultural differences, here. The Indian family is going to have a very hard time accepting her behavior rather shifting blame. Also totally understandable of them to want to push in searching for her and exploring other scenarios. But the American spring break experience will be different for them to understand.
I really don't like blaming the friends. She clearly wanted to stay behind with him. It was after 5am and the friends wanted to go to bed at last. If she didn't want to go with them, please tell me specifically what they should have done.
They should have stepped in, took her by the arm and led her back to the room to sleep. I had to do this to a friend (we were in our 30's). She was drunk and some guy just "knew" he was hooking up that night. Yes, she was flirting and "all over him", but no way was that happening on "my watch". I came between them, told him to please move along because it wasn't happening tonight and took her back with me to our hotel room. Friends look out for each other. Sadly, her "friends" failed her that morning.
If her friends knew she intended to have sex with the boy, why did they not come by her room or the beach in the morning to see how it was going?
Instead, they just went on a day trip, and gave her privacy.
Ah, this one is interesting.
Do you want your friends coming by your room to see how sex with a random stranger is going?
Right? People here are out of touch.
The only person to blame for this tragedy is the girl. She made a dumb, bad choice and has paid the ultimate price.
It's devastating and maddening, yes, but the blame cannot be shifted to the hotel, her friends, or the guy she was with.
I completely agree.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Her friends really failed her.
By allowing her autonomy and giving her the privacy she requested?
You are in a foreign country, you do not let your friends go off with a stranger with at least a cell phone or way to contact. And she requested privacy while drunk or high? Yeah no I’m not abiding by your request. I stand by my assessment that those were lousy friends.
That does not make them criminally suspect in any way.
And, These women chose each other.
I never said they were criminally suspect in anyway! I said they failed her. And they did.
+1 yes!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Her friends really failed her.
By allowing her autonomy and giving her the privacy she requested?
You are in a foreign country, you do not let your friends go off with a stranger with at least a cell phone or way to contact. And she requested privacy while drunk or high? Yeah no I’m not abiding by your request. I stand by my assessment that those were lousy friends.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Her friends really failed her.
By allowing her autonomy and giving her the privacy she requested?
You are in a foreign country, you do not let your friends go off with a stranger with at least a cell phone or way to contact. And she requested privacy while drunk or high? Yeah no I’m not abiding by your request. I stand by my assessment that those were lousy friends.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This story is so sad. I feel like girls especially have it drilled in their head to look out for their friends and yet this sort of thing happens. I wonder if she had known the boy for a few days so had an illusion of safety and so did her friends.
+10000
I could easily list all my near misses, too.
Very familiar with their area in LOCO so speak from experience. Major cultural differences, here. The Indian family is going to have a very hard time accepting her behavior rather shifting blame. Also totally understandable of them to want to push in searching for her and exploring other scenarios. But the American spring break experience will be different for them to understand.
I really don't like blaming the friends. She clearly wanted to stay behind with him. It was after 5am and the friends wanted to go to bed at last. If she didn't want to go with them, please tell me specifically what they should have done.
They should have stepped in, took her by the arm and led her back to the room to sleep. I had to do this to a friend (we were in our 30's). She was drunk and some guy just "knew" he was hooking up that night. Yes, she was flirting and "all over him", but no way was that happening on "my watch". I came between them, told him to please move along because it wasn't happening tonight and took her back with me to our hotel room. Friends look out for each other. Sadly, her "friends" failed her that morning.
If her friends knew she intended to have sex with the boy, why did they not come by her room or the beach in the morning to see how it was going?
Instead, they just went on a day trip, and gave her privacy.
Ah, this one is interesting.
Do you want your friends coming by your room to see how sex with a random stranger is going?
Right? People here are out of touch.
The only person to blame for this tragedy is the girl. She made a dumb, bad choice and has paid the ultimate price.
It's devastating and maddening, yes, but the blame cannot be shifted to the hotel, her friends, or the guy she was with.
I can think of a dozen or more similar dumb, bad choices I made at her age, but I somehow survived. Luck was on my side each of those times. Here are just a few:
1. met a guy day 1 of spring break, hours of landing & checking into our resort when I was 19, and ditched dinner with my girlfriends to hook up with him
2. went night swimming in Punta Cana when I was 18 (or 20 - not sure which trip I did this)
3. met a local in DR & agreed to go out on his boat with him at night to look at the stars
4. got in a sketchy unmarked van in Chinatown with my friend while shopping for knockoffs. The van drove around the streets while we "shopped" inside. On the same trip, was guided down an alleyway to a secret entrance and walked through a literal sweatshop up 6 flights of rickety stairs to shop for knockoffs.
5. got super drunk in OCMD during beach week fresh out of HS & had to go to the hospital - my parents never found out.
6. was a passenger in a car multiple times with a driver who blew just under .08 using their little pocket breathalyzer b/c we didn't realize that .06 is still freaking impaired (and that those pocket breathalyzers aren't super accurate)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Her friends really failed her.
By allowing her autonomy and giving her the privacy she requested?
You are in a foreign country, you do not let your friends go off with a stranger with at least a cell phone or way to contact. And she requested privacy while drunk or high? Yeah no I’m not abiding by your request. I stand by my assessment that those were lousy friends.
That does not make them criminally suspect in any way.
And, These women chose each other.
I never said they were criminally suspect in anyway! I said they failed her. And they did.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Her friends really failed her.
By allowing her autonomy and giving her the privacy she requested?
You are in a foreign country, you do not let your friends go off with a stranger with at least a cell phone or way to contact. And she requested privacy while drunk or high? Yeah no I’m not abiding by your request. I stand by my assessment that those were lousy friends.
That does not make them criminally suspect in any way.
And, These women chose each other.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Her friends really failed her.
By allowing her autonomy and giving her the privacy she requested?
You are in a foreign country, you do not let your friends go off with a stranger with at least a cell phone or way to contact. And she requested privacy while drunk or high? Yeah no I’m not abiding by your request. I stand by my assessment that those were lousy friends.