Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently I was in the minority, but my ES age kid did aftercare even though we had a hybrid schedule / someone is WFH most days. I don’t want my kid around when I am still working!

+1. DH and I work in private sector and one or the other is WFH every day. We still have a nanny for after school. If we couldn’t afford a nanny we would have signed up for aftercare at one of the 1,000 karate places or tutoring centers that offers them.

I have a hard time believing all these ESers are so independent after school. The fact is, the WFH parents are barely paying attention to work in the afternoons because they are transporting their children to activities, supervising them at home, etc. Which is fine if they can make it work (eg logging back in at night to compensate). But it’s a benefit they were taking advantage of, not something they were entitled to long term. So they shouldn’t act like the rug was pulled out from under them. They should have had childcare all along.

Well said

And that’s on a regular school day, which is, at most, 8 months of the year. There are snow days, delayed openings, teacher work days, sick days, long weekends, spring/winter break and summer. I don’t believe that most WFH parents without childcare are taking leave on those days. I suspect that they are doing the bare minimum at their jobs on those days, and that is the real reason why they are now panicking.

Ugh. I’ll bite on this. When you wfh on a snow day, you can set your school aged child up with a good video, hot cocoa and then go work for a solid chunk of time.
When you work in person on a snow day or delayed opening, either the government is code red which you get paid for if you can’t telework or you call into work and use leave and drink hot cocoa too.


Either way, less work is done with in person office parents than with ones who have telework.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently I was in the minority, but my ES age kid did aftercare even though we had a hybrid schedule / someone is WFH most days. I don’t want my kid around when I am still working!

+1. DH and I work in private sector and one or the other is WFH every day. We still have a nanny for after school. If we couldn’t afford a nanny we would have signed up for aftercare at one of the 1,000 karate places or tutoring centers that offers them.

I have a hard time believing all these ESers are so independent after school. The fact is, the WFH parents are barely paying attention to work in the afternoons because they are transporting their children to activities, supervising them at home, etc. Which is fine if they can make it work (eg logging back in at night to compensate). But it’s a benefit they were taking advantage of, not something they were entitled to long term. So they shouldn’t act like the rug was pulled out from under them. They should have had childcare all along.

Well said

And that’s on a regular school day, which is, at most, 8 months of the year. There are snow days, delayed openings, teacher work days, sick days, long weekends, spring/winter break and summer. I don’t believe that most WFH parents without childcare are taking leave on those days. I suspect that they are doing the bare minimum at their jobs on those days, and that is the real reason why they are now panicking.

Anonymous wrote:I remember hustling pick up and drop off logistics with DH during our kids early years. Both of us had inflexible jobs. Very stressful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

We are supposed to evolve. Just because I did it 15 years ago doesn’t mean today’s generation should have to as well. Why are Americans so infatuated with punishment?

Once again, no one is. It’s the whining and the hysterics of it all.

If we could wave our magic wand, we’d keep at least regular telework, if not full telework. But it’s not happening and a lot of people here are saying it’s impossible to figure out childcare. That their lives are being turned upside down. It’s perspective that is missing.

My kids were in full time daycare, and then before and after care, and yeah it’s expensive. And there are wait lists. BTDT. The hours with a commute are tough too, so I found a daycare that was closer to my office so we could manage the daycare’s hours. I have a long commute and getting my toddler out of bed at 6:30am was hard.

We staggered our tours of duty, we used a lot of leave, we hired high schooler to shuttle one kid to her sport when we weren’t home in time to get her there. We had zero telework then.

I don’t begrudge anyone who doesn’t have to do that. But reality is this is what’s happening now.

I remember hustling pick up and drop off logistics with DH during our kids early years. Both of us had inflexible jobs. Very stressful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

We are supposed to evolve. Just because I did it 15 years ago doesn’t mean today’s generation should have to as well. Why are Americans so infatuated with punishment?

Anonymous wrote:Apparently I was in the minority, but my ES age kid did aftercare even though we had a hybrid schedule / someone is WFH most days. I don’t want my kid around when I am still working!

We did too, PP, because we had to work and having the kids around was distracting. Now that they're a bit older they are able to come home and know not to bother us unless it's important - they get a snack, finish homework, watch tv.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a lack of childcare that’s the problem; it’s that these women want to have it both ways. They don’t want to pay anyone else to watch their children, they prefer to fleece their employers.

+1

There are plenty of before and after care options. People just don’t want to pay. Though it’s the responsibility of mom and dad, not just mom, in ideal circumstances.

-A single mom breadwinner with sole custody who pays for child care and full time summer camp

Completely depends where you are, all the daycare centers that offer full daycare are at capacity around me. Preschool runs until 3pm at the latest. There is a waitlist for the school offered after care if your kid is school age.

There is a waitlist if you sign up today. If you had signed up years ago when your kid started K, you would be off the waitlist by now.

Look, I totally get that people wanted to save money on childcare and have their kids home with them. But just own it. Own that it was a choice that you intentionally made. It was great while it lasted but now you have to pay the piper and it’s not everybody else’s fault/problem.

This 100%.

People (moms and dads) freely made the choice to save some money by not securing before/aftercare.

They gambled and now it's on them. 100% their fault.

I won’t go so far as to blame them. As you say, they gambled, and it worked out for them for quite a while. Good for them, and hope they enjoy that money they saved. But now they need to adult-up and make new arrangements without complaining. Because they wouldn’t have to “scramble” if they had done this all along.

+1.

Zillions of night owls out there. Become one.

Anonymous wrote:this whole thread is insane.

awesome

(2020s v. 1990s)

Anonymous wrote:this whole thread is insane.

bonkers.

Shift workers lose substantial years from their life expectancy as the price for defying the normal body clock of Homo sapiens. Years of research now clearly establishes the perils of shift work. If we cared about quality of life we would limit shift work to only absolutely essential workers and let most of our fellow humans sleep at night as they evolved for millions of years to do.

this whole thread is insane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop working the same shift over and over. This is a 24-hour world. Work 2nd or 3rd shift at something. You all claim to be educated and smart but I see no evidence of it.

I have worked 2nd and 3rd shift before. They aren’t available in all job sectors. And when they are, people often don’t have a choice about working them. This is why I had my cousin’s five kids for a week while she and her husband both worked third shift. A computer schedules them and doesn’t care about child care. My cousin and her husband make good money but if no one responsible in your market is willing to do overnight child care, working third shift is not sustainable.

It has been sustainable around the world for a thousand years.

Identify the person who held a gun to their head and made them have 5 children instead of a sustainable and affordable one child.

Secondary infertility, huh?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop working the same shift over and over. This is a 24-hour world. Work 2nd or 3rd shift at something. You all claim to be educated and smart but I see no evidence of it.

J1 J2 J2 guy has entered the chat.

What a dolt. Female here. Strong feminist. Grow some and take care of your family doing what you need to do. I am so ashamed for women these days. "Help me , I'm so weak! I had better complain."

who is not taking care of their families? I don't see any evidence of that. If anything we would like to actually do that better. It's so odd that you don't support things that help families have more connections with their children.

That's your job to figure out, honey, not the government's.

it is, yes. I didn't say it wasn't. I said that it is odd that you do not support families having more connections with their children. You. Talking about you, sis.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a lack of childcare that’s the problem; it’s that these women want to have it both ways. They don’t want to pay anyone else to watch their children, they prefer to fleece their employers.

+1

There are plenty of before and after care options. People just don’t want to pay. Though it’s the responsibility of mom and dad, not just mom, in ideal circumstances.

-A single mom breadwinner with sole custody who pays for child care and full time summer camp

Completely depends where you are, all the daycare centers that offer full daycare are at capacity around me. Preschool runs until 3pm at the latest. There is a waitlist for the school offered after care if your kid is school age.

There is a waitlist if you sign up today. If you had signed up years ago when your kid started K, you would be off the waitlist by now.

Look, I totally get that people wanted to save money on childcare and have their kids home with them. But just own it. Own that it was a choice that you intentionally made. It was great while it lasted but now you have to pay the piper and it’s not everybody else’s fault/problem.

So you think a kid who has a parent at home after school should spend years in aftercare just in case? I doubt a program with a wait-list would let you pay for a spot youre not using. I do not think that is rational.

They could actually use the spot. We have plenty of neighbors who do that. They actually have to do work at home so they can't pop out to the bus stop or get snacks out or host a playdate while "working".

Again, this is on parents who thought they could F around and found out.

I work from 7 to 3:30. DH gets the kids out in am while I am working (in my office in the basement with the door closed. I rarely see them). I pick them up at the bus 30 minutes AFTER the end of my work day. This is what most parents do. Do you have plenty of neighbors who keep their kids in aftercare when they are not working? I do not think DCUM approves.

What’s stopping you from doing that going forward? If your commute is long, do 6:30-3 instead.

DH has to commute in the am now too. He is a BU so hopefully only 2 days a week.

Hunh?

bargaining unit

Ahhh. I thought it was Boston University.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop working the same shift over and over. This is a 24-hour world. Work 2nd or 3rd shift at something. You all claim to be educated and smart but I see no evidence of it.

I have worked 2nd and 3rd shift before. They aren’t available in all job sectors. And when they are, people often don’t have a choice about working them. This is why I had my cousin’s five kids for a week while she and her husband both worked third shift. A computer schedules them and doesn’t care about child care. My cousin and her husband make good money but if no one responsible in your market is willing to do overnight child care, working third shift is not sustainable.

It has been sustainable around the world for a thousand years.

Identify the person who held a gun to their head and made them have 5 children instead of a sustainable and affordable one child.