Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if Ben was comparing JLo’s parenting to Garner’s and might have said something like take it down a notch so you can be more present for her kids. I doubt the fire just fizzled out…something big and touchy must have prompted this fallout.

Or he just got sick of her being on all the time. It's exhausting for someone who would prefer to go to their country house in Georgia with the kids for the summer months and ride horses. She is not that woman.

Since this thread is about analyzing JLo, here I go!

So I actually think the problem is that she absolutely would THINK she wanted to go to the country house and ride horses and spend time with the kids. In her head, she's have a whole southern/country wardrobe for that "life", she'd be plotting her social media posts about making lemonade and riding and setting off fireworks on the farm on the 4th. In her head it's a movie, she's the star.

She could imagine any life like this. Ex-pats in Paris. Turning producer and becoming a mega power-couple with their own production company or launching their own streaming service. Being a global Latin music star. You name it. I think she has a romantic mind but is shallow and doesn't understand how meaningful relationships, and what a meaningful life, actually looks like. She only sees in her head how it looks from the outside, how other people will view it (and envy it, and admire it). When she thinks about how it will feel to live that life, she thinks about how it will feel to have other people look at her life.

There's this scene from Sex and the City (bear with me!) where Carrie is talking about her relationship with Big and how she wears these little outfits for him, like she's Barbie dressing the part for whatever activity or setting they are going to. And her friend (I think it's Miranda but don't remember and I don't think it matters) is like "just don't do that, be yourself." But that's who Carrie is. She defines herself by her relationship, the man in her life. She doesn't know how to experience things, only how to costume and set-direct them.

This is what JLo is like. I don't say this derisively. I feel bad for her. I had a friend like this many years ago. She'd dive into things very enthusiastically -- new jobs, marriage, parenthood. But after the initial rush of dressing the part and posting all about it on social media, she'd get bored and annoyed that most of it wasn't really for show. It was just real. She got really into travel. Then remodeling a house. And the key is posting it all online. We all know people like this. If someone wasn't watching and approving, she couldn't feel good about it. She didn't know how to just have a quiet moment with her family or her friends (or *gasp* all by herself) where she was happy and enjoying herself even if not one could see her and envy or "like" it.

I think this is what JLo is like. And I think it's a form of addict behavior, and at first Ben, an addict, was on board. But unlike JLo, he's actually been through rehabilitation of addiction issues and he knows the red flags and the signs of an unhealthy relationship with your substance of choice. I think at first he thought it was just a personality difference but it started to remind him of his relationship with alcohol (and maybe other thing, he might have had this issue with sex also). He is in recovery and for him that means going to Georgia and actually just being alone with his kids and enjoying them and finding happiness in something real and meaningful and deep and not thinking about how other people view it. And JLo can't do that, she literally does not know how. And the idea of rehabilitation for the kind of addiction she has, the addiction to attention and validation, isn't so well accepted as rehab for substance abuse. Plus her addiction actually makes her money, employs people. It's harder to quit in many ways.

That's what I think is happening. That's why Ben is so sad. It's not because she is terrible to him or he doesn't like her anymore. It's because he knows the truth and realizes better than most that you can't really change an addict. They can choose to make different choices and do the hard work every day for the rest of their lives (and it is hard work and that's why he always looks so hangdog, being in recovery is never easy and you have to work on yourself every day, it's not this blissful, easy existence) and she does not have sufficient reason to do that. But he can't support her in it either.

I think they were both well meaning but this is an intractable problem -- her addiction works for her and she is heavily enabled in it and that's never going to change. But as a recovering addict, he can't bring himself to support her and enable her in it.

are they splitting up? (Ben and Jen)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think JLo is a better actress than Jen Garner, who is pretty mediocre (also pretty, but mediocre). JLo has real magnetism onscreen, but has done a lot of terrible movies. But Out of Sight, her room com era (the Wedding Planner and Maid in Manhattan), and Hustlers all show her to her best effect. She's not like a method actress or anything, but she knows how to create on screen chemistry with a wide variety of leading men, and she has decent range (pulls off the softness of rom coms surprisingly well IMO).

I think one issue with JLo's career is that she doesn't love acting-- she loves music and dancing. Her "singing" career is her real passion but she doesn't have a good voice or any skill as a writer/musician/producer. She's a dancer. It's a shame because dancing is just not something you can make money doing, so if she wanted to dance but stay at the level she was at as an actress, she had to sing.

I think both Jens are mediocre actresses overall but each has had a few great parts. For Jen G it was 13 going on 30, Alias, and Juno.

I agree that they’re both mediocre. JLo might actually have more range, but Jen G had two iconic roles in Alias and 13 going on 30. JLo can’t seem to decide what kind of actress she wants to be. (She can’t seem to decide on what kind of career she wants overall, she just jumps into everything, singing, rom coms, crime dramas, modeling, documentaries, designing, not doing anything really well, instead of finding something where her passions and talents collide and focusing on that). Jen G had the good sense to know her skills and make some smart choices. She also seems far more content to step away from the limelight and just be a person, obviously, and that’s something JLo will never be capable of.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jennifer is a workhorse and wants a handsome leading man. She doesn’t want an old billionaire who goes to bed before 9pm and takes medications .

She wants to be on the scene . She embraces the glamour of Hwood like the old movie stars of the Golden Age and she wants to be seen as a movie star more than just an actress. That’s why she sings, dances, and acts like the old Hwood actresses did. That’s her goal or so she says.

Ha! No one is going to take her seriously as Hollywood Oscar glam as long as she is twerking on stripper poles at the Super Bowl. She needs to make her mind up, she is no Taylor Swift and never will be which is what I think led to her thinking she could have an "Eras" tour moment this year. Not going to happen. Either you sing or become an actress who can crush that Oscar, pick one.

You say this but she did pull some prestige parts that only come with age and gravitas. The Met ball, the judge on voice. This is reserved for people with authority usually, not young stars.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if Ben was comparing JLo’s parenting to Garner’s and might have said something like take it down a notch so you can be more present for her kids. I doubt the fire just fizzled out…something big and touchy must have prompted this fallout.

Or he just got sick of her being on all the time. It's exhausting for someone who would prefer to go to their country house in Georgia with the kids for the summer months and ride horses. She is not that woman.

He could have started using again and she kicked him out.

Anonymous wrote:Jennifer is a workhorse and wants a handsome leading man. She doesn’t want an old billionaire who goes to bed before 9pm and takes medications .

She wants to be on the scene . She embraces the glamour of Hwood like the old movie stars of the Golden Age and she wants to be seen as a movie star more than just an actress. That’s why she sings, dances, and acts like the old Hwood actresses did. That’s her goal or so she says.

Ha! No one is going to take her seriously as Hollywood Oscar glam as long as she is twerking on stripper poles at the Super Bowl. She needs to make her mind up, she is no Taylor Swift and never will be which is what I think led to her thinking she could have an "Eras" tour moment this year. Not going to happen. Either you sing or become an actress who can crush that Oscar, pick one.

I wonder if Ben was comparing JLo’s parenting to Garner’s and might have said something like take it down a notch so you can be more present for her kids. I doubt the fire just fizzled out…something big and touchy must have prompted this fallout.

Jennifer is a workhorse and wants a handsome leading man. She doesn’t want an old billionaire who goes to bed before 9pm and takes medications .

She wants to be on the scene . She embraces the glamour of Hwood like the old movie stars of the Golden Age and she wants to be seen as a movie star more than just an actress. That’s why she sings, dances, and acts like the old Hwood actresses did. That’s her goal or so she says.

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Anonymous wrote:Look at how many people are interested in her now? Articles every day. This is a huge publicity stunt.

Nope, doesn't benefit her sufficiently.

+1 No amount of publicity is worth the "look at the immature and self-centered diva whose husband couldn't stand her and left shortly into the marriage" stigma, especially combined with her vapid "greatest love story" OTT promotion. She's a laughingstock.

And she turns 55 this summer. Men in Hollywood and music industry her age are looking for much younger to date/re-marry. Nobody beard Father Time, even the ones spending millions to look young.

Maybe Salma Hayek's billionaire husband has a brother.

J Lo isn’t that type. All of her partners were poorer than her .

They also were all younger with the exception of Marc who is a year older than her.

I can’t see Jennifer getting with an older rich man

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Anonymous wrote:The magnitude of her downfall is such that being cheated on is, at this point, would have been a preferable scenario.

That's not wrong. At least the fault would be squarely on him vs. everyone talking about how insufferable she is and who can blame him.

+1 She is in the decline. Soon she will be in concert at smaller venues like Wolftrap.

Well since she can't sing, don't think that will be an option for her. People go to her shows for the fun theatrics, expensive sets, and elaborate dance choreography not the quality of her music. But middle-aged women performers without serious talent don't have much of an audience. She's not Madonna, who is unique in being able to continue to draw.

This is a tough time for her. Even with an incredible body and reasonably good dance talent, hard to see how she pivots from here. The best work ethic in the world won't compensate for mediocre talent plus sexism and ageism in a very harsh industry. I agree with the PP who said she should stop making terrible movies though. Maybe just do some judicious high-end glamour endorsements and work on adjusting to a quieter life. Her kids have very few years left at home. I'd focus on them while mulling over what could come next.

Maybe a prestige tv series. Other middle-aged actresses like Jen Aniston, Reese W, Kerry W and, yes, Jen G made positive transitions in this way.

True, but JLo doesn't appear to want to transition. A lot of immaturity is continually on display.

Jlo is not a good actress. She was perfect for Selena, but she’s not a good actress and therefore wasn’t able to transition beyond rom coms. Hollywood is cruel to women this way. But there will be no prestige tv series for her, because she can’t progress beyond the 20/30 something romcom. Even her last movie with Owen Wilson was the same rom com premise- how many roles like that exist for 50 somethings?

I think she's alright. Her acting is better than her singing.
Out of Sight was good and some of the others were decent. I mean she's not a great talent or anything but I've seen a lot worse.

She’s great in Out of Sight and Shades of Blue.

Not sure why she doesn’t film more crime dramas.

I think her picker is off . She spent most of her peak years doing sear filler commercial romcoms without much gritty acting.

Agree this is her strongest work. With the right production team, a prestige series in this genre, maybe modeled on all the great British procedurals, on HBO or Apple would be a great move from her.

I would love to see her in a female version of The Godfather or A Bronx Tale as a vicious madame or drug distributer with a respectable day job /double life or an NYPD officer /sting operation leader who comes across an old flame during a bust who knows family secrets and other secrets about her past.

It’s also odd J Lo rarely plays a mom of teenagers or adults in her films. That leads for more gravity in scenes. She’s always just the love interest or a mom to a super young child. She’s 55.

In Shades of Blue she had a 16 year old daughter. In The Mother she had a teen. She’s been playing age appropriate roles for the most part.

I don't understand why she doesn't take some time to actually work on her craft. Has she ever done that? Voice lessons, instrument lessons, elocution lessons

There's only much a person can do without much talent.

Anonymous wrote:She obviously herself had little guidance and probably mediocre parenting beyond the basics in her adolescence. Certainly little ongoing healthy emotional support, she doesn't know what she doesn't know.

What parenting do you need after adolescence? This is part of the problem with the generation Z.

J Lo wasn’t helicopter parented. In that era, she would ride the subway for dance lessons all by herself as a teen or walk 2 blocks up the street to buy eggs and milk and cigarettes for her mother at age 8. The 70s and 80s were a different time. None of this was considered child abuse or abandonment

J Lo won’t break from this. Growing up in the boroughs, one sees it all (especially in that era) and one learns that you can survive anything so long as you stand tall and keep on moving.

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Anonymous wrote:The magnitude of her downfall is such that being cheated on is, at this point, would have been a preferable scenario.

That's not wrong. At least the fault would be squarely on him vs. everyone talking about how insufferable she is and who can blame him.

+1 She is in the decline. Soon she will be in concert at smaller venues like Wolftrap.

Well since she can't sing, don't think that will be an option for her. People go to her shows for the fun theatrics, expensive sets, and elaborate dance choreography not the quality of her music. But middle-aged women performers without serious talent don't have much of an audience. She's not Madonna, who is unique in being able to continue to draw.

This is a tough time for her. Even with an incredible body and reasonably good dance talent, hard to see how she pivots from here. The best work ethic in the world won't compensate for mediocre talent plus sexism and ageism in a very harsh industry. I agree with the PP who said she should stop making terrible movies though. Maybe just do some judicious high-end glamour endorsements and work on adjusting to a quieter life. Her kids have very few years left at home. I'd focus on them while mulling over what could come next.

Maybe a prestige tv series. Other middle-aged actresses like Jen Aniston, Reese W, Kerry W and, yes, Jen G made positive transitions in this way.

True, but JLo doesn't appear to want to transition. A lot of immaturity is continually on display.

Jlo is not a good actress. She was perfect for Selena, but she’s not a good actress and therefore wasn’t able to transition beyond rom coms. Hollywood is cruel to women this way. But there will be no prestige tv series for her, because she can’t progress beyond the 20/30 something romcom. Even her last movie with Owen Wilson was the same rom com premise- how many roles like that exist for 50 somethings?

I think she's alright. Her acting is better than her singing.
Out of Sight was good and some of the others were decent. I mean she's not a great talent or anything but I've seen a lot worse.

She’s great in Out of Sight and Shades of Blue.

Not sure why she doesn’t film more crime dramas.

I think her picker is off . She spent most of her peak years doing sear filler commercial romcoms without much gritty acting.

Agree this is her strongest work. With the right production team, a prestige series in this genre, maybe modeled on all the great British procedurals, on HBO or Apple would be a great move from her.

I would love to see her in a female version of The Godfather or A Bronx Tale as a vicious madame or drug distributer with a respectable day job /double life or an NYPD officer /sting operation leader who comes across an old flame during a bust who knows family secrets and other secrets about her past.

It’s also odd J Lo rarely plays a mom of teenagers or adults in her films. That leads for more gravity in scenes. She’s always just the love interest or a mom to a super young child. She’s 55.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at how many people are interested in her now? Articles every day. This is a huge publicity stunt.

Nope, doesn't benefit her sufficiently.

+1 No amount of publicity is worth the "look at the immature and self-centered diva whose husband couldn't stand her and left shortly into the marriage" stigma, especially combined with her vapid "greatest love story" OTT promotion. She's a laughingstock.

And she turns 55 this summer. Men in Hollywood and music industry her age are looking for much younger to date/re-marry. Nobody beard Father Time, even the ones spending millions to look young.

Maybe Salma Hayek's billionaire husband has a brother.