Anonymous
Post 05/21/2014 10:46     Subject: Things that are unintentional status symbols.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being a Tiger mom!



How on earth?

Being a Tiger Mom is clawing your way to the top, if I ever saw it. Its trying to overcompensate for all of the opportunities you never had in your home land. You know that right?




Well, the privileged White moms are obsessed with Tiger Moms. They direct all their cattiness towards them. Recognizing envy and the "sour grapes" mentality of this class - being a Tiger mom is indeed an unintentional status symbol!


I totally disagree. I think that perhaps there are middle class suburban moms obsessed with Tiger Moms, but the wealthy and UMC white moms aren't at all. Tiger Moms aren't really even high on the radar of your average wealthy or UMC white mom. These moms tend to send their kids to private schools (or even parochial) where you don't encounter many Tiger Moms and they certainly aren't in the "in" circle or part of a group that is envied.

Not having to work too hard for your wealth and/or social status = unintentional status symbol. Tiger Moms are the opposite.


That's great to know that the wealthy and UMC white moms do not envy Tiger moms! So do you think it is mainly lower MC and poor white moms, or just lower MC?


NP.

This is a rising class thing to me. The "Tiger Mom" author is a law professor, but she is clearly screamingly insecure about her children's ability to maintain their SES. Lots of moms across a broad range of SES are like that.

It's also a curse for ambitious immigrants and lower SES Americans. (Think Venus Williams' dad, who convinced his wife to have two kids just so he could turn them into tennis stars.)
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2014 10:38     Subject: Re:Things that are unintentional status symbols.
As a kid in the '70s in a diverse school, we could judge relative wealth by the contents of one's lunch bags.

Wax paper, saran wrap, grocery bags, and Wonder bread meant not wealthy.

Ziploc or Baggies, individual bags of chips, Pepperidge Farm bread (thinner, less floppy than Wonder), brown bags bought specifically for lunches were wealthy.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2014 10:11     Subject: Things that are unintentional status symbols.
Anonymous wrote:Ice cream paper bag from giant for your lunch bag. At least it was when I was a kid


I love this. Also the kids who, on picture day, had the largest packages and extras checked off for the most money. Though these aren't really status symbols (and may or may not even be linked to actual wealth status), they sure are for kids. Probably a different thread though.
Anonymous
Post 05/20/2014 12:46     Subject: Things that are unintentional status symbols.
Anonymous wrote:Driving your kid to school when school bus is available.

I do it for my daughter. She is scared of having an accident while in the bus. It's been a few years now, hopefully she will grow out of it.
Anonymous
Post 05/20/2014 12:43     Subject: Things that are unintentional status symbols.
Driving your kid to school when school bus is available.
Anonymous
Post 05/20/2014 12:43     Subject: Things that are unintentional status symbols.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being a Tiger mom!



How on earth?

Being a Tiger Mom is clawing your way to the top, if I ever saw it. Its trying to overcompensate for all of the opportunities you never had in your home land. You know that right?




Well, the privileged White moms are obsessed with Tiger Moms. They direct all their cattiness towards them. Recognizing envy and the "sour grapes" mentality of this class - being a Tiger mom is indeed an unintentional status symbol!


I totally disagree. I think that perhaps there are middle class suburban moms obsessed with Tiger Moms, but the wealthy and UMC white moms aren't at all. Tiger Moms aren't really even high on the radar of your average wealthy or UMC white mom. These moms tend to send their kids to private schools (or even parochial) where you don't encounter many Tiger Moms and they certainly aren't in the "in" circle or part of a group that is envied.

Not having to work too hard for your wealth and/or social status = unintentional status symbol. Tiger Moms are the opposite.


That's great to know that the wealthy and UMC white moms do not envy Tiger moms! So do you think it is mainly lower MC and poor white moms, or just lower MC?
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2014 09:11     Subject: Things that are unintentional status symbols.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Northface



Not more... U need mountain hardware or HH

HH would be if the letters were hidden.Complicated,huh!
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2014 09:05     Subject: Things that are unintentional status symbols.
Traveling to places most people wouldn't think of.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2014 08:47     Subject: Things that are unintentional status symbols.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being a Tiger mom!



How on earth?

Being a Tiger Mom is clawing your way to the top, if I ever saw it. Its trying to overcompensate for all of the opportunities you never had in your home land. You know that right?




Well, the privileged White moms are obsessed with Tiger Moms. They direct all their cattiness towards them. Recognizing envy and the "sour grapes" mentality of this class - being a Tiger mom is indeed an unintentional status symbol!


I totally disagree. I think that perhaps there are middle class suburban moms obsessed with Tiger Moms, but the wealthy and UMC white moms aren't at all. Tiger Moms aren't really even high on the radar of your average wealthy or UMC white mom. These moms tend to send their kids to private schools (or even parochial) where you don't encounter many Tiger Moms and they certainly aren't in the "in" circle or part of a group that is envied.

Not having to work too hard for your wealth and/or social status = unintentional status symbol. Tiger Moms are the opposite.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2014 08:30     Subject: Re:Things that are unintentional status symbols.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone said dogs that don't shed? I was driving through a community last week and say people walking Poodles, Golden Noodles, Giant Schnauzers, Bichons, Airedales, and the like. I think they buy them because they don't want to deal with dog hair, I mean, who does? But to spend 500-1000 or more on a dog? Definitely an unintentional status symbol.


Actually, I think it's the opposite. Having a dog that doesn't shed it totally middle class, well probably upper middle class. But, the truly rich, the blue bloods don't CARE if their dogs shed or get mud on the rugs and sofa. That is an unintentional status symbol. They can pay to get it all cleaned and that is one of the reasons they have a full time housekeeper. Plus, that is one of the reasons slip covered were originally invented, so dirty, sandy dogs and kids wouldn't ruin the sofas and chairs. You just got the slipcover cleaned or had a new one made. Original well made sofas didn't wear out. Pottery Barn was the first mass-retailer to make slip covered sofas for the masses because they realized this was an "unintentional" status symbol.


Yes! Are you the transfer station decal poster?
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2014 08:29     Subject: Things that are unintentional status symbols.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Transfer station (town dump) sticker on older station wagon from town where vaca home is.


I love this, but do you have to be from New England to get it?


Nope. Central Virginia has these, too (I lived on a horse farm for a while -- would have been great if I'd been a sociologist).


OK -- I get it -- I'm thinking of a former colleague who went to UVA, lived in Old Town, and had a "country place" near Orange with horses and dogs and shabby chic furniture covered with dog hair (inherited, of course) . PP, I believe we may be kindred spirits as armchair sociologists.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2014 06:54     Subject: Things that are unintentional status symbols.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Transfer station (town dump) sticker on older station wagon from town where vaca home is.


I love this, but do you have to be from New England to get it?


Nope. Central Virginia has these, too (I lived on a horse farm for a while -- would have been great if I'd been a sociologist).
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2014 23:25     Subject: Things that are unintentional status symbols.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Unintentional status symbol - things people own or do that indicate

1. We are not new money. Family heirloom jewelry, expensive items that show wear from many years of use like vintage leather luggage, 10 yr old luxury cars, board seats and club memberships inherited, use of a family vacation home

2. We have enough money to buy what is convenient or popular even if a less expensive alternative of similar quality / utility is available. Name brand fleeces were mentioned. Never cutting coupons, never buying store brands. Not watching sales or eating in season. Basically never going out of your way to check prices and buying what you want. Buying "expensive" name brand clothes and shoes at full price for every day wear not just special occasions. Donating to any charity or cause someone asks for a donation to - like $50 for your neighbor's 5k. Eating lunch out every day.

3. Things that you do unintentionally that indicate that you have plenty of free time (because you have a flexible or part time job by choice, because you have help at home with cooking, cleaning, lawn care, child care). Not because you have time because you make less per hour than it costs you to pay someone else or because you are un/under employed. These choice things may include things like attachment parenting, long maternity leaves, cloth diapering, homemade foods from scratch, elaborate Pinterest projects, elaborate themed parties with crafty decor, a home decorated for each season, walking places you could drive to.

A lot of confusion here because a lot of things rich people do to demonstrate, intentionally or not, their wealth like homemade organic baby foods or wearing shabby but quality clothes are also things poor people do. It's about whether you have a choice. Being poor takes away a lot of choices and takes a lot of time because you can't pay for convenience.

Wearing lulu lemon pants because "they fit me best" and because $100 is nothing to you is a status symbol. Wearing Old Navy yoga pants can go either way. Maybe you're too rich to care what people think and you wear your ON pants to your $40/session Pilates trainer or with your Tory Burch flip flops. Maybe it means ON is all you can afford and you don't work because you can't afford childcare. That's the catch with intentional frugality / shabby chic among the closeted rich - you don't know who is who. Unintentional status symbol is ON yoga pants and an old car on a mom with a 2+ carat engagement ring who sheepishly replies when you admire it "oh thanks, it was my grandmother's".


You can't inherit a club membership. You can be a legacy and not have to pay as much and avoid the waiting list, but you have to join on your own dime.


Knowing how legacy works at a CC ....
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2014 09:47     Subject: Things that are unintentional status symbols.
I have not read every page of this thread but at risk of repeating I'll throw one out there: Surrogate pregnancies. I wouldn't anyone going through infertility at all, but I do know surrogacy is irrationally expensive and only available as an option to a very select few people with money. Definitely a situation where the people are not doing this to flaunt their money, but the fact is not many can afford it.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2014 21:17     Subject: Re:Things that are unintentional status symbols.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone said dogs that don't shed? I was driving through a community last week and say people walking Poodles, Golden Noodles, Giant Schnauzers, Bichons, Airedales, and the like. I think they buy them because they don't want to deal with dog hair, I mean, who does? But to spend 500-1000 or more on a dog? Definitely an unintentional status symbol.


Actually, I think it's the opposite. Having a dog that doesn't shed it totally middle class, well probably upper middle class. But, the truly rich, the blue bloods don't CARE if their dogs shed or get mud on the rugs and sofa. That is an unintentional status symbol. They can pay to get it all cleaned and that is one of the reasons they have a full time housekeeper. Plus, that is one of the reasons slip covered were originally invented, so dirty, sandy dogs and kids wouldn't ruin the sofas and chairs. You just got the slipcover cleaned or had a new one made. Original well made sofas didn't wear out. Pottery Barn was the first mass-retailer to make slip covered sofas for the masses because they realized this was an "unintentional" status symbol.


Agreed. In Santa Fe the really rich people live on dirt roads, because they can afford housekeepers. There's your unintentional status symbol--not caring if your road is paved.