Anonymous wrote:I think it's highly likely the poor girl drowned. You can see from the video both she and the boy are staggering as they walked. Likely it began as a hook-up, they were both drunk, they went into the water, and the power of the waves dragged them in different directions. He made it back to shore, she did not. He didn't realize she didn't make it out of the water, because he was drunk. Have any of you ever been that drunk college kid, or seen a drunk college kid? At that age kids make really dumb choices, like entering the ocean when they're so drunk they can barely walk.

Accusing the boy of foul play is misplaced.
Of course her family and friends are upset. But accusing the boy of murder without any basis is wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m absolutely convinced the poster disputing where the young lady was drunk is family or a family friend that can’t accept some of the facts of that evening.

Or someone triggered by certain hypothetical scenarios. Yes, I agree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought it didn’t look like typical arm around a girl stuff-it was either like he was holding her up bc she was unsteady or like he was kind of clinging.

at one point she did try to separate from her and he quickly got back in firm arm stance. Again, could be because she was wobbly but I equally could have been overly handsy and bunch she was trying to tamp down in a friendly way.

Tamping down in a friendly way isn't consistent with her choosing to remain alone with him on the beach. She could easily have left with her friends. She looks happy in the video.

Yes, because young women do famously great at being assertive about boundaries and not worrying about offending people!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story is so sad. I feel like girls especially have it drilled in their head to look out for their friends and yet this sort of thing happens. I wonder if she had known the boy for a few days so had an illusion of safety and so did her friends.

I really don't like blaming the friends. She clearly wanted to stay behind with him. It was after 5am and the friends wanted to go to bed at last. If she didn't want to go with them, please tell me specifically what they should have done.

My understanding is they took her phone so find my phone would show her in the hotel room. They were doing what she wanted.

Is this understanding from anything official or simply the game of telephone (pun intended) being played in this thread?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m absolutely convinced the poster disputing where the young lady was drunk is family or a family friend that can’t accept some of the facts of that evening.

Or someone triggered by certain hypothetical scenarios. Yes, I agree.

We’ve been discussing facts as it relates to this particular poster. It is a fact if you spend hours drinking at a bar one’s judgement becomes impaired as they are under the influence of alcohol. Aka, drunk.

Does that video show her *drinking* for hours? Or does it show her at the bar for hours, drinking but not necessarily "excessively", and acting like she was "drunk" (your choice of word in this scenario)?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story is so sad. I feel like girls especially have it drilled in their head to look out for their friends and yet this sort of thing happens. I wonder if she had known the boy for a few days so had an illusion of safety and so did her friends.

I really don't like blaming the friends. She clearly wanted to stay behind with him. It was after 5am and the friends wanted to go to bed at last. If she didn't want to go with them, please tell me specifically what they should have done.

My understanding is they took her phone so find my phone would show her in the hotel room. They were doing what she wanted.

Is this understanding from anything official or simply the game of telephone (pun intended) being played in this thread?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story is so sad. I feel like girls especially have it drilled in their head to look out for their friends and yet this sort of thing happens. I wonder if she had known the boy for a few days so had an illusion of safety and so did her friends.

I really don't like blaming the friends. She clearly wanted to stay behind with him. It was after 5am and the friends wanted to go to bed at last. If she didn't want to go with them, please tell me specifically what they should have done.

They should have stepped in, took her by the arm and led her back to the room to sleep. I had to do this to a friend (we were in our 30's). She was drunk and some guy just "knew" he was hooking up that night. Yes, she was flirting and "all over him", but no way was that happening on "my watch". I came between them, told him to please move along because it wasn't happening tonight and took her back with me to our hotel room. Friends look out for each other. Sadly, her "friends" failed her that morning.

If her friends knew she intended to have sex with the boy, why did they not come by her room or the beach in the morning to see how it was going?

Instead, they just went on a day trip, and gave her privacy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story is so sad. I feel like girls especially have it drilled in their head to look out for their friends and yet this sort of thing happens. I wonder if she had known the boy for a few days so had an illusion of safety and so did her friends.

I really don't like blaming the friends. She clearly wanted to stay behind with him. It was after 5am and the friends wanted to go to bed at last. If she didn't want to go with them, please tell me specifically what they should have done.

My understanding is they took her phone so find my phone would show her in the hotel room. They were doing what she wanted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought it didn’t look like typical arm around a girl stuff-it was either like he was holding her up bc she was unsteady or like he was kind of clinging.

at one point she did try to separate from her and he quickly got back in firm arm stance. Again, could be because she was wobbly but I equally could have been overly handsy and bunch she was trying to tamp down in a friendly way.

Tamping down in a friendly way isn't consistent with her choosing to remain alone with him on the beach. She could easily have left with her friends. She looks happy in the video.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story is so sad. I feel like girls especially have it drilled in their head to look out for their friends and yet this sort of thing happens. I wonder if she had known the boy for a few days so had an illusion of safety and so did her friends.

I really don't like blaming the friends. She clearly wanted to stay behind with him. It was after 5am and the friends wanted to go to bed at last. If she didn't want to go with them, please tell me specifically what they should have done.

I'm saying it's possible they didn't speak up because she had known the boy for a few days. It makes the most sense to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m absolutely convinced the poster disputing where the young lady was drunk is family or a family friend that can’t accept some of the facts of that evening.

Agree.

Someone out there is mentally stuck on their own bias of:

“a nice girl from a good family would never behave in such a manner. Therefore she must have been kidnapped or forced to do something.”

In reality, it doesn’t appear she did anything unusual for an American college student.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story is so sad. I feel like girls especially have it drilled in their head to look out for their friends and yet this sort of thing happens. I wonder if she had known the boy for a few days so had an illusion of safety and so did her friends.

I really don't like blaming the friends. She clearly wanted to stay behind with him. It was after 5am and the friends wanted to go to bed at last. If she didn't want to go with them, please tell me specifically what they should have done.

They should have stepped in, took her by the arm and led her back to the room to sleep. I had to do this to a friend (we were in our 30's). She was drunk and some guy just "knew" he was hooking up that night. Yes, she was flirting and "all over him", but no way was that happening on "my watch". I came between them, told him to please move along because it wasn't happening tonight and took her back with me to our hotel room. Friends look out for each other. Sadly, her "friends" failed her that morning.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m absolutely convinced the poster disputing where the young lady was drunk is family or a family friend that can’t accept some of the facts of that evening.

Or someone triggered by certain hypothetical scenarios. Yes, I agree.

We’ve been discussing facts as it relates to this particular poster. It is a fact if you spend hours drinking at a bar one’s judgement becomes impaired as they are under the influence of alcohol. Aka, drunk.

Anonymous wrote:I’m absolutely convinced the poster disputing where the young lady was drunk is family or a family friend that can’t accept some of the facts of that evening.