Anonymous wrote:Has anyone said that a vein down the middle of an otherwise perfectly smooth forehead is an unintentional status symbol?

What?

Has anyone said that a vein down the middle of an otherwise perfectly smooth forehead is an unintentional status symbol?

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of this has humbled me. I find myself watching what I say as I can come off way wrong. We've had a cleaning service since the beginning because DH is messy and I'm not and I refuse to argue. We have a landscaper because DH isn't about to spend a hour out of his day on yard work. Kids do day/overnight camp because hell, I'm far from a pinterest mom and won't pretend they won't get on my last nerve at some point in the summer. I love my kids but there isn't enough pool/library/museum/outside time in the world to not need a break. Damn....swim clubs may come off a certain way too.

Why do you care? Most of this thread seems like "pretend you are poor" (because I'm jealous or a reverse snob)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHMS period.

I disagree. I SAH when my kids were little. The reason was, I only made 50K/yr and it made no sense for me to work to pay for daycare. We struggled those years, it sucked!

I am in the same boat, but I worked anyway. To keep my foot in the door, to remain in the professional world, to show my DD it was important. It was your choice to struggle.

I'm sure your daughter was thrilled that her life was made a run-around because of your misplaced feelings about what' s important.

The PP made the right decision and her kids and husband benefitted by having her home, rather than creating extra stress on everyone to work, only to have that salary go to daycare. There would be no net gain on a financial level for her to work, so alleviating the run-around stress at home made more sense. It's hard work, and it sucks sometimes like anything else, but it's important work in my eyes.

Former SAH 50K mom here. Really, I do not judge anyone for working EVERYBODY makes decisions that work for them and everyone has a different tolerance level for stress. I see where many women might need to stay in the workforce at a low income just to keep their place, taking a look at the long haul. That was not my case, I slid back in quite easily and ended up in an better position than when I left. It was a complete win for me, and really how hard is it to pick up another 50K/yr job, it's not like I was walking away from six figures! I got to muscle through the infant/toddler phase without the added stress of a career and took no hit when I returned (at a 65K salary to boot, which rapidly accelerated).

However, it is quite disingenuous to say "show my DD it was important" to work. I can assure you, a 2yr old does not think about these things. My children probably will not even remember me SAH and that's OK. It was nice for ME to have that time with them and it was great for my DH to have those years that he could focus on his career without the pressure of needing to be at home by a certain time or run around in the morning with the daycare routine. He got an career boost in that period of time. Overall I would do it again a thousand times over.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHMS period.

I disagree. I SAH when my kids were little. The reason was, I only made 50K/yr and it made no sense for me to work to pay for daycare. We struggled those years, it sucked!

I am in the same boat, but I worked anyway. To keep my foot in the door, to remain in the professional world, to show my DD it was important. It was your choice to struggle.

I'm sure your daughter was thrilled that her life was made a run-around because of your misplaced feelings about what' s important.

The PP made the right decision and her kids and husband benefitted by having her home, rather than creating extra stress on everyone to work, only to have that salary go to daycare. There would be no net gain on a financial level for her to work, so alleviating the run-around stress at home made more sense. It's hard work, and it sucks sometimes like anything else, but it's important work in my eyes.

$100 a month is a lot to spend on flowers to have in your house, sorry, but that is your unintentional status symbol.
Your average person can't justify spending that on flowers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHMS period.

I disagree. I SAH when my kids were little. The reason was, I only made 50K/yr and it made no sense for me to work to pay for daycare. We struggled those years, it sucked!

I am in the same boat, but I worked anyway. To keep my foot in the door, to remain in the professional world, to show my DD it was important. It was your choice to struggle.

Shrug. It was worth it. I slipped right back into the workforce and after 5 years now make 180k and have minimal child care expenses.It was a gamble and paid off. I also was done having babies by 28, so it was really no big hit on my career.

I didnt feel the need to show my infants and toddlers that it was important that mom worked. I think they I fulfilled other important needs they had at that time.

You seem hostile to my choices. Sorry I made you feel bad.

Wrong thread, ladies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHMS period.

I disagree. I SAH when my kids were little. The reason was, I only made 50K/yr and it made no sense for me to work to pay for daycare. We struggled those years, it sucked!

I am in the same boat, but I worked anyway. To keep my foot in the door, to remain in the professional world, to show my DD it was important. It was your choice to struggle.

Shrug. It was worth it. I slipped right back into the workforce and after 5 years now make 180k and have minimal child care expenses.It was a gamble and paid off. I also was done having babies by 28, so it was really no big hit on my career.

I didnt feel the need to show my infants and toddlers that it was important that mom worked. I think they I fulfilled other important needs they had at that time.

You seem hostile to my choices. Sorry I made you feel bad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if it's mentioned, but I was thinking about it today as I arranged some flowers.

Always having beautiful fresh cut flowers throughout the house. It isn't the sort of thing most people do to impress others but it can be very costly.

Not really. I buy fresh flowers every 2 weeks. $20 for 4 bouquets that I break up and distribute.

What sort of flowers? I don't spend a fortune (about $100 month) but one of the ladies in the neighborhood keeps huge vases all around her house full of flowers that have to cost her about $1000 month. I don't say anything other than how gorgeous they are but I also think it fits the bill as an unintentional status symbol to be able to spend so much on cut flowers just because you like looking at them.

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if it's mentioned, but I was thinking about it today as I arranged some flowers.

Always having beautiful fresh cut flowers throughout the house. It isn't the sort of thing most people do to impress others but it can be very costly.

Not really. I buy fresh flowers every 2 weeks. $20 for 4 bouquets that I break up and distribute.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHMS period.

I disagree. I SAH when my kids were little. The reason was, I only made 50K/yr and it made no sense for me to work to pay for daycare. We struggled those years, it sucked!

I am in the same boat, but I worked anyway. To keep my foot in the door, to remain in the professional world, to show my DD it was important. It was your choice to struggle.

Sounds like it would have been a struggle for her either way...paying for daycare or staying home. She made the opposite choice that's you and that's ok.

Not sure if it's mentioned, but I was thinking about it today as I arranged some flowers.

Always having beautiful fresh cut flowers throughout the house. It isn't the sort of thing most people do to impress others but it can be very costly.

Talking about how you volunteer at school, during the work day.

showing up in the carpool line all cute and in casual SAHM clothes. Not being in work clothes when you show up in the carpool line.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHMS period.

I disagree. I SAH when my kids were little. The reason was, I only made 50K/yr and it made no sense for me to work to pay for daycare. We struggled those years, it sucked!

I am in the same boat, but I worked anyway. To keep my foot in the door, to remain in the professional world, to show my DD it was important. It was your choice to struggle.