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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We held our son back (July birthday) because he has ADHD. His preschool was completely full of boys with obvious ADHD who had summer birthdays. A good decision (and it's not because he's not smart--most ADHD kids are billiant/creative but prefrontal cortex takes longer to develop in those kids). The strong hunch about ADHD was confirmed at age 6 with official neuropsych diagnosis. But it wasn't at all surprising. It had nothing to do with intelligence or size (both off the charts).

If you think he's smart, why didn't you have confidence in him to compete against kids his own age?

Why do you think this is a competition?

Because to anti-redshirters, education is a cage match and there can be only one winner. Natural Law Loonie thinks that the oldest children in the grade should be disqualified from holding class office, unless of course they are within the magic and not at all arbitrary 12 months span that she dictates.

I don’t want my kid to go to school to compete, or to win. I want him to learn. I will send him whenever I think he will learn best, and I am happy that the rules explicitly allowed me to make that decision.

So, “best for him” is with smaller, younger kids. Got it.

+1

Some of them, yes. Others are larger and older. Some are larger and younger, and some are smaller and older. What’s your point? Learning is not actually a function of either age or height. Which is why schools explicitly allow parents to make these decisions for their children. In conclusion, stay mad.

Mad at your incoherence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We held our son back (July birthday) because he has ADHD. His preschool was completely full of boys with obvious ADHD who had summer birthdays. A good decision (and it's not because he's not smart--most ADHD kids are billiant/creative but prefrontal cortex takes longer to develop in those kids). The strong hunch about ADHD was confirmed at age 6 with official neuropsych diagnosis. But it wasn't at all surprising. It had nothing to do with intelligence or size (both off the charts).

If you think he's smart, why didn't you have confidence in him to compete against kids his own age?

Why do you think this is a competition?

Because to anti-redshirters, education is a cage match and there can be only one winner. Natural Law Loonie thinks that the oldest children in the grade should be disqualified from holding class office, unless of course they are within the magic and not at all arbitrary 12 months span that she dictates.

I don’t want my kid to go to school to compete, or to win. I want him to learn. I will send him whenever I think he will learn best, and I am happy that the rules explicitly allowed me to make that decision.

So, “best for him” is with smaller, younger kids. Got it.

+1

Some of them, yes. Others are larger and older. Some are larger and younger, and some are smaller and older. What’s your point? Learning is not actually a function of either age or height. Which is why schools explicitly allow parents to make these decisions for their children. In conclusion, stay mad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We held our son back (July birthday) because he has ADHD. His preschool was completely full of boys with obvious ADHD who had summer birthdays. A good decision (and it's not because he's not smart--most ADHD kids are billiant/creative but prefrontal cortex takes longer to develop in those kids). The strong hunch about ADHD was confirmed at age 6 with official neuropsych diagnosis. But it wasn't at all surprising. It had nothing to do with intelligence or size (both off the charts).

If you think he's smart, why didn't you have confidence in him to compete against kids his own age?

Why do you think this is a competition?

Because to anti-redshirters, education is a cage match and there can be only one winner. Natural Law Loonie thinks that the oldest children in the grade should be disqualified from holding class office, unless of course they are within the magic and not at all arbitrary 12 months span that she dictates.

I don’t want my kid to go to school to compete, or to win. I want him to learn. I will send him whenever I think he will learn best, and I am happy that the rules explicitly allowed me to make that decision.

So, “best for him” is with smaller, younger kids. Got it.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We held our son back (July birthday) because he has ADHD. His preschool was completely full of boys with obvious ADHD who had summer birthdays. A good decision (and it's not because he's not smart--most ADHD kids are billiant/creative but prefrontal cortex takes longer to develop in those kids). The strong hunch about ADHD was confirmed at age 6 with official neuropsych diagnosis. But it wasn't at all surprising. It had nothing to do with intelligence or size (both off the charts).

If you think he's smart, why didn't you have confidence in him to compete against kids his own age?

compete?? to me - school is about individual achievement - its not a competition and its sad you think it is.

Naive if you to think it’s only about individual achievement.

Anonymous wrote:Redshirting isn't advantageous at all for a kid that is already ahead academically and cognitively. Late August birthday kid could already read at 3. We knew he would be bored out of his gourd if we redshirted him. He was still the most advanced kid in his class at each grade level, even being more than a year younger than the oldest redshirted kid in class. Behavioral issues and maturity issues work themselves out over time. I really think parents of late summer bday kids should try to get an IQ test or something similar for their kids before redshirting just to make sure they aren't going to exacerbate boredom. Every kid is different, [b]don't base your decision solely on sports!

That's the crux of it for you, isn't it? You think we all do it because of sports. Ridiculous. Everyone I know who held their kids back for an extra year of pre-school were worried about maturity or learning issues. I met one weirdo dad who said he was going to hold his kid back so he'd have an advantage in football and his kid never played football.

You and your group of friends also like to accuse parents with larger kids of cheating the system. I have twins and one was very large for his age and the number of uneducated morons who would confront me at any soccer or baseball event was astounding. You are obsessed with any kid having what you view as any advantage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We held our son back (July birthday) because he has ADHD. His preschool was completely full of boys with obvious ADHD who had summer birthdays. A good decision (and it's not because he's not smart--most ADHD kids are billiant/creative but prefrontal cortex takes longer to develop in those kids). The strong hunch about ADHD was confirmed at age 6 with official neuropsych diagnosis. But it wasn't at all surprising. It had nothing to do with intelligence or size (both off the charts).

If you think he's smart, why didn't you have confidence in him to compete against kids his own age?

Why do you think this is a competition?

Because to anti-redshirters, education is a cage match and there can be only one winner. Natural Law Loonie thinks that the oldest children in the grade should be disqualified from holding class office, unless of course they are within the magic and not at all arbitrary 12 months span that she dictates.

I don’t want my kid to go to school to compete, or to win. I want him to learn. I will send him whenever I think he will learn best, and I am happy that the rules explicitly allowed me to make that decision.

So, “best for him” is with smaller, younger kids. Got it.

OP. You need to make the decision based on what you think would make your kid more happy. Despite all the mounting evidence that older kids do better in school both academically and socially, there are upsides to being the youngest. For example, it's a lot easier to get sympathy when you're the youngest in a group than when you're the oldest in a group, which is something that some people greatly desire. The youngest in a group is also the most likely to be doted on and get, what I like to call, "puppy attention". While many kids find these things annoying, other kids might really enjoy this kind of attention. In kids' books and movies, it's very common for the protagonist to be the youngest in a group, whether it's their family, their classroom, etc. For some children, being like the protagonist in their favorite story is really important to them. You know your son best OP, and it's up to you to figure out which decision will make him happier.

For instance, how competitive is he? Is it really important for him to win when playing a board game or a game in your backyard? When you've watched him at his pre-school, does he seem determined to impress his friends and do better than them at everything? If so, he would probably be happier if you waited a year.

On the other hand, is there a book or movie protagonist that he really wants to be like? How does he feel when he's doted on? When you have friends and colleagues over for dinner, does he enjoy the attention he receives due to being the only child in a room of adults? Does he enjoy hearing them say things like "awww" and "you're so adorable"? If that's the case, he may be happier if you send him to school earlier, is it would be impossible for him to get that kind of attention if he were the oldest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Redshirting isn't advantageous at all for a kid that is already ahead academically and cognitively. Late August birthday kid could already read at 3. We knew he would be bored out of his gourd if we redshirted him. He was still the most advanced kid in his class at each grade level, even being more than a year younger than the oldest redshirted kid in class. Behavioral issues and maturity issues work themselves out over time. I really think parents of late summer bday kids should try to get an IQ test or something similar for their kids before redshirting just to make sure they aren't going to exacerbate boredom. Every kid is different, don't base your decision solely on sports!

I don’t know anyone who based the decision on sports at all.

Behavioral issues and social maturity can work themselves out over time, but sometimes their “working out” leaves scars. It did on me (I was deemed gifted and went to school at 4).

Everyone has to choose what’s right for their kid - but I can tell you that pushing academics early at the expense of social maturity can have long-lasting emotional consequences. There’s plenty of time to learn geometry. There’s smaller window for learning how to have and become confident with positive social interactions.

I’m glad that this is a decision that each family can make for themselves.

Well, many gifted kids are autistic, and will struggle socially no matter what.

Anonymous wrote:Redshirting isn't advantageous at all for a kid that is already ahead academically and cognitively. Late August birthday kid could already read at 3. We knew he would be bored out of his gourd if we redshirted him. He was still the most advanced kid in his class at each grade level, even being more than a year younger than the oldest redshirted kid in class. Behavioral issues and maturity issues work themselves out over time. I really think parents of late summer bday kids should try to get an IQ test or something similar for their kids before redshirting just to make sure they aren't going to exacerbate boredom. Every kid is different, don't base your decision solely on sports!

I don’t know anyone who based the decision on sports at all.

Behavioral issues and social maturity can work themselves out over time, but sometimes their “working out” leaves scars. It did on me (I was deemed gifted and went to school at 4).

Everyone has to choose what’s right for their kid - but I can tell you that pushing academics early at the expense of social maturity can have long-lasting emotional consequences. There’s plenty of time to learn geometry. There’s smaller window for learning how to have and become confident with positive social interactions.

I’m glad that this is a decision that each family can make for themselves.

Redshirting isn't advantageous at all for a kid that is already ahead academically and cognitively. Late August birthday kid could already read at 3. We knew he would be bored out of his gourd if we redshirted him. He was still the most advanced kid in his class at each grade level, even being more than a year younger than the oldest redshirted kid in class. Behavioral issues and maturity issues work themselves out over time. I really think parents of late summer bday kids should try to get an IQ test or something similar for their kids before redshirting just to make sure they aren't going to exacerbate boredom. Every kid is different, don't base your decision solely on sports!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We held our son back (July birthday) because he has ADHD. His preschool was completely full of boys with obvious ADHD who had summer birthdays. A good decision (and it's not because he's not smart--most ADHD kids are billiant/creative but prefrontal cortex takes longer to develop in those kids). The strong hunch about ADHD was confirmed at age 6 with official neuropsych diagnosis. But it wasn't at all surprising. It had nothing to do with intelligence or size (both off the charts).

If you think he's smart, why didn't you have confidence in him to compete against kids his own age?

Why do you think this is a competition?

Because to anti-redshirters, education is a cage match and there can be only one winner. Natural Law Loonie thinks that the oldest children in the grade should be disqualified from holding class office, unless of course they are within the magic and not at all arbitrary 12 months span that she dictates.

I don’t want my kid to go to school to compete, or to win. I want him to learn. I will send him whenever I think he will learn best, and I am happy that the rules explicitly allowed me to make that decision.

+1

Natural Law Loonie also thinks fall-born kids who were not redshirted but are naturally oldest because of their birthdays should not be allowed to hold class offices or join the orchestra. Such a weirdo!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We held our son back (July birthday) because he has ADHD. His preschool was completely full of boys with obvious ADHD who had summer birthdays. A good decision (and it's not because he's not smart--most ADHD kids are billiant/creative but prefrontal cortex takes longer to develop in those kids). The strong hunch about ADHD was confirmed at age 6 with official neuropsych diagnosis. But it wasn't at all surprising. It had nothing to do with intelligence or size (both off the charts).

If you think he's smart, why didn't you have confidence in him to compete against kids his own age?

Why do you think this is a competition?

Because to anti-redshirters, education is a cage match and there can be only one winner. Natural Law Loonie thinks that the oldest children in the grade should be disqualified from holding class office, unless of course they are within the magic and not at all arbitrary 12 months span that she dictates.

I don’t want my kid to go to school to compete, or to win. I want him to learn. I will send him whenever I think he will learn best, and I am happy that the rules explicitly allowed me to make that decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We held our son back (July birthday) because he has ADHD. His preschool was completely full of boys with obvious ADHD who had summer birthdays. A good decision (and it's not because he's not smart--most ADHD kids are billiant/creative but prefrontal cortex takes longer to develop in those kids). The strong hunch about ADHD was confirmed at age 6 with official neuropsych diagnosis. But it wasn't at all surprising. It had nothing to do with intelligence or size (both off the charts).

If you think he's smart, why didn't you have confidence in him to compete against kids his own age?

compete?? to me - school is about individual achievement - its not a competition and its sad you think it is.

DP here. PP, your kid has ADHD and you are obviously focusing in individual achievement. The p(PP) has neurotypical kid so you do measure your kid performance by comparing with the performance with other kids. Isn't this how kids are measured every where?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We held our son back (July birthday) because he has ADHD. His preschool was completely full of boys with obvious ADHD who had summer birthdays. A good decision (and it's not because he's not smart--most ADHD kids are billiant/creative but prefrontal cortex takes longer to develop in those kids). The strong hunch about ADHD was confirmed at age 6 with official neuropsych diagnosis. But it wasn't at all surprising. It had nothing to do with intelligence or size (both off the charts).

If you think he's smart, why didn't you have confidence in him to compete against kids his own age?

compete?? to me - school is about individual achievement - its not a competition and its sad you think it is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

Meh I'd rather my kid enter adulthood mature, ready for the next step, and with confidence than launching them too soon. I'll take my chances with the gift of time rather than roll the dice and find out that it would be an uphill battle and struggle by forcing them before they were ready because of an arbitrary cutoff. You only get one chance to get it right. I know people who regret sending the kids on time when they were young and immature, I don't know anyone who regrets redshirting. It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

I second this. Parents who try to rush their kids may ultimately end up setting their kids behind. We sent our December-born son to K at 4 because we didn't want him to be "behind" in school. He was fine until he started college at 17. He had a much harder time adjusting to college than his older classmates, and as a result, dropped out after 1 semester. He enrolled at a community college the following fall, where we were hoping he would be able to transfer back to a university after 2 years. Unfortunately, he didn't get great advisement while at community college, and ended up taking 3 years to transfer instead of 2. He's now a 23-year-old senior, set to graduate this spring. However, if we had given him another year before Kindergarten, college would've probably gone smoothly for him and he probably would have graduated last spring. By starting him too early, he ended up being a year behind. As has been said repeatedly, nobody regrets redshirting but many people, S/O and I included, regret not redshirting.

>95% of kids with December BDs in the US are not K-eligible at age 4. In this case, yes, I'd probably redshirt, but is an exception mostly specific to NY area... the standard question about redshirting is what to do for the common cutoffs (esp. in DC area, given the board) which are in the August/September timeframe (and even earlier at some privates). Also anecdotes are not data, would love to see some actual figures on how strong the correlation is between birth month and college dropout rate.