Anonymous wrote:

don't share the passion from either you or your detractors. But here's one factoid. In my early twenties, I slept with a dozen married men, give or take. Each of them admitted their wives would be happy to have sex but they lost interest because "I can't eat the same dish every day of my life." One outright said "she's old and you're young and tight." Just one of them said she has a sickness that prevents sex.

So, I do not believe that cheating is driven by sexless-ness as much as plain old boredom and natural inclination against monogamy in many men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
1) A 22yo girl knows of a dozen men's sex life but a 40+ yo man cannot know a hundred? I play sports (golf, hunt, fish, ride motorcycles) and do lots of guy stuff around other guys. Agreed we do not talk "emotions" but trust me during a 6 hour round in a golf cart the topic of sex (in terse binary terms: having it or not) often DOES come up! I am fine if you do not believe that.

2) YOU were the one who described these men's wives as being HAPPY to have sex. I merely challenge your credibility for using that descriptor. Now your reply goes in a totally different direction as to whether or not men should be content having sex with an UN-happy wife. That was never my point, so you are side tracking and/or back tracking on your original claim.

3) Your sample is an unbelievable collection of wives HAPPY to have sex with husbands who don't want it. If you encountered 12 out of 12 guys in that situation, please go buy a lottery ticket.

Agreed: some cheating husbands are simply bored despite a wife willing to have sex. My beef is that you (and others here) hyper focus on that small population while skipping right over the majority case where wife is UN-willing. This is just being ignorant of the mindset of a cheater.

LOL, are you comparing conversations between lovers to conversations between friends? Male friends to begin with? OK, if you admit having sex with a hundred plus men (like I was having sex with a dozen plus men), then I believe you that you DO know about their sex lives. Somehow I don't think that's what you meant!

Since you're picking on the term "happy", use "does not object" instead. Again - does that really change things? Now not only do you have to NOT object, you have to be giddy with delight or it doesn't count? You know that female libido is reactive in most cases anyway, so a wife who does not object does not reject her husband (rejection being the common complaint.) "Does not object" doesn't mean "unhappy", it means "if you initiate, I have no objection."

Anonymous wrote:
1) A 22yo girl knows of a dozen men's sex life but a 40+ yo man cannot know a hundred? I play sports (golf, hunt, fish, ride motorcycles) and do lots of guy stuff around other guys. Agreed we do not talk "emotions" but trust me during a 6 hour round in a golf cart the topic of sex (in terse binary terms: having it or not) often DOES come up! I am fine if you do not believe that.

2) YOU were the one who described these men's wives as being HAPPY to have sex. I merely challenge your credibility for using that descriptor. Now your reply goes in a totally different direction as to whether or not men should be content having sex with an UN-happy wife. That was never my point, so you are side tracking and/or back tracking on your original claim.

3) Your sample is an unbelievable collection of wives HAPPY to have sex with husbands who don't want it. If you encountered 12 out of 12 guys in that situation, please go buy a lottery ticket.

Agreed: some cheating husbands are simply bored despite a wife willing to have sex. My beef is that you (and others here) hyper focus on that small population while skipping right over the majority case where wife is UN-willing. This is just being ignorant of the mindset of a cheater.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

don't share the passion from either you or your detractors. But here's one factoid. In my early twenties, I slept with a dozen married men, give or take. Each of them admitted their wives would be happy to have sex but they lost interest because "I can't eat the same dish every day of my life." One outright said "she's old and you're young and tight." Just one of them said she has a sickness that prevents sex.

So, I do not believe that cheating is driven by sexless-ness as much as plain old boredom and natural inclination against monogamy in many men.

12 out of 12 men told you their wives are “happy to have sex but they lost interest”? Even the DCUM soccer mom brigade sees something peculiar in your incredible tale. The married female readership here (those who are honest) would say they are (at best... when conditions are perfect) “willing to have sex” meanwhile their husbands (sadly) remain VERY interested in sex.

Of the 100+ married men I know close enough to hear about their wives sexual interest: still I have not reached a dozen where the wife is happy to have sex.

I am not calling you a liar, I am merely saying that your experience is not applicable to the DCUM sexless marriage age group.

First, let's just say that unless you're a sex therapist, I do not believe that you know a hundred plus married men close enough to hear about their sex lives. It just doesn't jibe with the social patterns of males, let alone married males who are notorious for dropping friends. I'm not calling you a liar as you said...just not really believing that a hundred plus men confide in you.

Second, that's just men moving goalposts. I mean not only you have to be willing to have sex, you have to be happy to have it, you have to do XYZ, or else...it goes on and on. What's next? she didn't wear the right nightgown to bed so it doesn't count? her tits sag so it doesn't count?

Third, I'm just relaying to you what the men said. It's a small sample, for sure. Yet I find the boredom theory quite simple, and easy to understand and believe. I mean wouldn't YOU be bored?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were still having sex....

For a lot of men, this is technically true but they consider 2x a month not really having sex. For their wives, it's having sex all the time.

So no, I don't think most married men who cheat are truly sexless but a lot of them are sexually starved. That's just marriage.

Whether you are not having sex at all,

or not having enough sex (as pp noted)

or not having exciting enough sex

or just want something new

None of these sentiments are bad in themselves. It's the solution that's discussed which is bad. Just divorce instead of cheating. So many different conditions/situations listed for cheating but there is a singular solution which is divorce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

don't share the passion from either you or your detractors. But here's one factoid. In my early twenties, I slept with a dozen married men, give or take. Each of them admitted their wives would be happy to have sex but they lost interest because "I can't eat the same dish every day of my life." One outright said "she's old and you're young and tight." Just one of them said she has a sickness that prevents sex.

So, I do not believe that cheating is driven by sexless-ness as much as plain old boredom and natural inclination against monogamy in many men.

12 out of 12 men told you their wives are “happy to have sex but they lost interest”? Even the DCUM soccer mom brigade sees something peculiar in your incredible tale. The married female readership here (those who are honest) would say they are (at best... when conditions are perfect) “willing to have sex” meanwhile their husbands (sadly) remain VERY interested in sex.

Of the 100+ married men I know close enough to hear about their wives sexual interest: still I have not reached a dozen where the wife is happy to have sex.

I am not calling you a liar, I am merely saying that your experience is not applicable to the DCUM sexless marriage age group.

First, let's just say that unless you're a sex therapist, I do not believe that you know a hundred plus married men close enough to hear about their sex lives. It just doesn't jibe with the social patterns of males, let alone married males who are notorious for dropping friends. I'm not calling you a liar as you said...just not really believing that a hundred plus men confide in you.

Second, that's just men moving goalposts. I mean not only you have to be willing to have sex, you have to be happy to have it, you have to do XYZ, or else...it goes on and on. What's next? she didn't wear the right nightgown to bed so it doesn't count? her tits sag so it doesn't count?

Third, I'm just relaying to you what the men said. It's a small sample, for sure. Yet I find the boredom theory quite simple, and easy to understand and believe. I mean wouldn't YOU be bored?

Anonymous wrote:We were still having sex....

For a lot of men, this is technically true but they consider 2x a month not really having sex. For their wives, it's having sex all the time.

So no, I don't think most married men who cheat are truly sexless but a lot of them are sexually starved. That's just marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

don't share the passion from either you or your detractors. But here's one factoid. In my early twenties, I slept with a dozen married men, give or take. Each of them admitted their wives would be happy to have sex but they lost interest because "I can't eat the same dish every day of my life." One outright said "she's old and you're young and tight." Just one of them said she has a sickness that prevents sex.

So, I do not believe that cheating is driven by sexless-ness as much as plain old boredom and natural inclination against monogamy in many men.

12 out of 12 men told you their wives are “happy to have sex but they lost interest”? Even the DCUM soccer mom brigade sees something peculiar in your incredible tale. The married female readership here (those who are honest) would say they are (at best... when conditions are perfect) “willing to have sex” meanwhile their husbands (sadly) remain VERY interested in sex.

Of the 100+ married men I know close enough to hear about their wives sexual interest: still I have not reached a dozen where the wife is happy to have sex.

I am not calling you a liar, I am merely saying that your experience is not applicable to the DCUM sexless marriage age group.

Anonymous wrote:

I wouldn’t care. H is not very interested in sex.

Got it. Do you think your AP would care if his wife was having an affair? If it would not bother either of you, then you do not have much to lose.

Anonymous wrote:

don't share the passion from either you or your detractors. But here's one factoid. In my early twenties, I slept with a dozen married men, give or take. Each of them admitted their wives would be happy to have sex but they lost interest because "I can't eat the same dish every day of my life." One outright said "she's old and you're young and tight." Just one of them said she has a sickness that prevents sex.

So, I do not believe that cheating is driven by sexless-ness as much as plain old boredom and natural inclination against monogamy in many men.

Many guys cheat for this reason, but that’s inconsistent with the sexless married guy’s rant, so he will dismiss you as anecdotal. Those of us who actually can process data know what you are saying isn’t unusual.

don't share the passion from either you or your detractors. But here's one factoid. In my early twenties, I slept with a dozen married men, give or take. Each of them admitted their wives would be happy to have sex but they lost interest because "I can't eat the same dish every day of my life." One outright said "she's old and you're young and tight." Just one of them said she has a sickness that prevents sex.

So, I do not believe that cheating is driven by sexless-ness as much as plain old boredom and natural inclination against monogamy in many men.