My mother is 58 and is really stunning even at her age. She has a winter place in Florida and she gets hit on all the time but she jokes that most of the men might as well have one foot in the grave. I’m pretty sure that she gets hit on by younger men but she never talks about it.

Anonymous wrote:I have a great smile and great figure. They hit on me anywhere. The funny part is when they are hitting on me and DH comes up, he almost 6’4”, 260 lbs and ripped.

Your DH is either juicing, 6’8, or you’re lying.

I have a friend who I have known for nearly 20 years from the time we were18 until now. She's not DCUM definition of pretty, tall white, blonde, and big breasted.

She's tall and thin though. She's AA, flat-chested, has had hair of varying lengths. She is totally gorgeous. Men fall all over themselves for her. I'm talking tongues pretty much hanging out of their mouths and staring. When we were in college and I was a little more insecure this would make me a little bit jealous. I actually recall one of my other friends declaring when we were all out in a group " That if Larla was coming the rest of us aren't going to get any attention"

She's not a super stylish dresser, doesn't wear makeup, and is not overly friendly, is actually fairly shy. . Still gets checked out,hit on at work, grocery stores, at the pizza shop or playground, church, bars etc. and you can tell it's not just the guys being nice."

The funny thing is she never makes a big deal about it, Certainly doesn't brag about it, in fact, she most often can be described as being annoyed and embarrassed by it.

She's sadly had to deal with workplace harassment too. So I definitely think it happens, but I don't think it's the women who are constantly saying it happens like it's something to brag about that it is happening to

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think, in general, creepers go harder after women that seem passive and easy to manipulate, it’s not about how they look except that they may come off as naive. Attractive women who frequent bars or places where other single people congregate get hit on based on looks and how approachable they are.

They just do it because it is a numbers game. Hit on a hundred women maybe 10 return interest, you sleep with two. Just google Asking 100 Girls For Sex or something like that.

I actually knew a creeper who did this. He literally would stand out on the corner and ask passing women if they wanted to come up and see his apartment. He said one would say yes every so often, so that's why he did it.

Anonymous wrote:When I was younger I definitely used to get a lot of commentary and stares and random men talking to me. I did not think of this as "hitting on me". I thought of this as seriously annoying. It would be when I was walking around in the city. Sometimes in stores. Definitely if I was out in a bar.

I am tall and used to have long blonde hair and I think that's why I got noticed. And thin and a good figure back in the day. I just stuck out more than the average person. Some guys are just looking for someone to bother and they pick the most obvious targets.

This will be an unpopular opinion, but I think if a woman wants a lot of attention it's not that hard to figure out how to get it and that's the main factor. I happened to have something I could not ever "put away"...my height.

This used to happen to my friend who had pure blonde hair and blue eyes. No matter how she dressed, she still got annoyed on the streets. It was not nice for her.

I find the posts from women who note that they have height, long blond hair, and big boobs as factors to be interesting because I'm a woman who rarely gets hit on in the US*. I'm a short brunette with a small chest and I've never had hair much past my shoulders - for most of the last five yeara I've had a very short pixie cut. Is it really that simple?

*Turkey, though? It's constant. Constant. And I'm not exceptionally pretty, but I've had enough male interest to know I'm not physically repellent either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha!!! Until they remove their makeup.

Haha so true. I used to work as a cocktail waitress and had to dress up, do full makeup hair etc. I would get hit on all night long. Sometimes I’d see guys that were begging for my number the night before at the grocery store the next day and they would walk right past me. Some guys love a very sexy “done up” look and I think they perceive girls who have it as easier to get into bed. I was a cute girl back in my 20s but, when not at work, was definitely not the overtly sexy, flirty type at all. I’ve always preferred attracting men I know and like to strangers. Too many creepy guys out there.

I think most guys think cocktail waitresses are a half a step away from being prostitutes. It's not a surprise they are "hitting on you" at work but not at the grocery store. Plus alcohol. They thought you were easy and a sure thing.

Pp, yup I do think this is true (although I’m not sure why, my experience was just taking drink orders and bringing them to tables). The whole experience definitely put me off from dressing up to the nines or going out to bars, though. That kind of attention and those types of guys are so unattractive to me.

The bar owners know what they are doing. They hire attractive cocktail waitresses because they know what men are like and will keep buying more drinks just to get the pretty waitress to give them the time of day and pay attention to them for a few minutes.

I have a former friend who was constantly claiming co-workers were hitting on her, random men in the street propositioning her, etc. She was classically pretty, big boobs, voluptuous figure. It was always a little "off" to me how much she talked about this as it was SUCH. A. PROBLEM. and made it hard to run errands or get her job done and made her (also very average looking) husband so insecure. But then, when we were out in public together a few times, I had the same experience as the poster above. Anytime a dude looked her way or spoke to her in any fashion (whether it be a waiter, someone asking for the time or a mutual friends husband) she'd look at me as if to say, "SEE?! It's happening again!" It must be exhausting to live like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha!!! Until they remove their makeup.

Haha so true. I used to work as a cocktail waitress and had to dress up, do full makeup hair etc. I would get hit on all night long. Sometimes I’d see guys that were begging for my number the night before at the grocery store the next day and they would walk right past me. Some guys love a very sexy “done up” look and I think they perceive girls who have it as easier to get into bed. I was a cute girl back in my 20s but, when not at work, was definitely not the overtly sexy, flirty type at all. I’ve always preferred attracting men I know and like to strangers. Too many creepy guys out there.

I think most guys think cocktail waitresses are a half a step away from being prostitutes. It's not a surprise they are "hitting on you" at work but not at the grocery store. Plus alcohol. They thought you were easy and a sure thing.

Pp, yup I do think this is true (although I’m not sure why, my experience was just taking drink orders and bringing them to tables). The whole experience definitely put me off from dressing up to the nines or going out to bars, though. That kind of attention and those types of guys are so unattractive to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you met men?

#notallmen
#butalotofthem

Seriously, there is a very visible subset of men who seem off the charts pissed that "you can't approach women in public anymore" and "how am I supposed to meet women now?" And there is another visible subset who just keep doing it anyway.

Are these great men? No. Should you be honored to be a target? No. Are they hitting on women? Yes.

It helps a lot to have RBF. When you have resting-friendly-face, not so helpful in these cases.

The homeless man sitting in a cafe I was in the other day told me I had nice hair, then stared at me for awhile. Was he hitting on me? I don't tend to think of it as being hit on. Often times it's not legit or serious so I don't need to tell them "Sorry, I'm married."

Yeah some of the examples posters are giving are more being sexually harassed than hit on.

What's the clear dividing line between "hit on" and "sexually harassed?"

Or ... do you just "know it when you see it?"

I would view being hit on as being approached and talked up by a man (sound of mind- not in drugs or mentally ill) who then asks for my number to get drinks/dinner etc. This would not include getting catcalled (hey there sexy!; hey blonde lady, give me your #!), completely plastered guy slurring out “hey come home with me”, having friendly conversations in public areas that don’t end in an ask for a date, or random service workers obtaining my number and reaching out to me (as in one of the very creepy stories a pp posted). I’d consider most of these harassment except, obviously, the friendly convo but I’d just consider that flirtatious, not being hit on.

Do you think that's a complete definition?

I think it probably encompasses most of what women are experiencing in this thread (harassment, being asked out/hit on, and friendly slightly flirtatious banter).

Np I agree with your definition of being hit on. Some women take every friendly interaction with a man as being hit on. Personally, I wouldn’t see it this way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha!!! Until they remove their makeup.

Haha so true. I used to work as a cocktail waitress and had to dress up, do full makeup hair etc. I would get hit on all night long. Sometimes I’d see guys that were begging for my number the night before at the grocery store the next day and they would walk right past me. Some guys love a very sexy “done up” look and I think they perceive girls who have it as easier to get into bed. I was a cute girl back in my 20s but, when not at work, was definitely not the overtly sexy, flirty type at all. I’ve always preferred attracting men I know and like to strangers. Too many creepy guys out there.

I think most guys think cocktail waitresses are a half a step away from being prostitutes. It's not a surprise they are "hitting on you" at work but not at the grocery store. Plus alcohol. They thought you were easy and a sure thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely tapered off for me now that I’m in my 50s. But it still happens every once in a while. Recently at WF - I wonder if being masked make men bolder. Also happened at the beach a few weeks ago and sometimes with outside people I meet due to my work. I think it happens to all women especially when you’re young. By middle age you’re invisible to alit of men and I’m fine with that!!!

Yes this has happened to me at the grocery store. I bring my young kids everywhere I go now and men don't come near me.

+1 Twin toddlers are very effective man repellers for me.

+1. Sahm to 3 boys under 5 and they are pretty much always with me. Strangely, no men seem interested in asking me out…

Anonymous wrote:Ha!!! Until they remove their makeup.

Haha so true. I used to work as a cocktail waitress and had to dress up, do full makeup hair etc. I would get hit on all night long. Sometimes I’d see guys that were begging for my number the night before at the grocery store the next day and they would walk right past me. Some guys love a very sexy “done up” look and I think they perceive girls who have it as easier to get into bed. I was a cute girl back in my 20s but, when not at work, was definitely not the overtly sexy, flirty type at all. I’ve always preferred attracting men I know and like to strangers. Too many creepy guys out there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely tapered off for me now that I’m in my 50s. But it still happens every once in a while. Recently at WF - I wonder if being masked make men bolder. Also happened at the beach a few weeks ago and sometimes with outside people I meet due to my work. I think it happens to all women especially when you’re young. By middle age you’re invisible to alit of men and I’m fine with that!!!

Yes this has happened to me at the grocery store. I bring my young kids everywhere I go now and men don't come near me.

+1 Twin toddlers are very effective man repellers for me.

Anonymous wrote:Definitely tapered off for me now that I’m in my 50s. But it still happens every once in a while. Recently at WF - I wonder if being masked make men bolder. Also happened at the beach a few weeks ago and sometimes with outside people I meet due to my work. I think it happens to all women especially when you’re young. By middle age you’re invisible to alit of men and I’m fine with that!!!

Yes this has happened to me at the grocery store. I bring my young kids everywhere I go now and men don't come near me.