Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m amused by all these posters saying “a successful guy in his 30s will only marry an equally successful woman.”

No. That happens, but rarely at this age because by 35, successful people are in a trajectory where the last thing they need is a partner in the same phase. It’s going to make kids impossible and you’re going to be at odds a lot.

More often, they marry a woman “on their level” — similar education background, maybe spent a few years in law or consulting before bailing for an easier gig, has some family money/support to sweeten the deal. But she’s not got some hard charging career— she’s fully ready to pivot to kids with a less stressful job or maybe even being a SAHM.

Guy here. Are you speaking from experience or just guessing? I have successful single male friends in that age range. They just don't think that closely about the logistics of having a family like that. I have 2 friends who are partners at law firms, and while they may not be seeking out a female mate who is also a partner (grueling schedule), they'd have no problem with dating someone in a less-stressful legal job (another lawyer friend married a US gov't lawyer).

There's a big difference between hard-charging career, and being a project manager at a non-profit just whiling the days away. The men I know go for someone in between those ranges.

I think once you are older, you probably were at some point in love and for whatever reason, it didn’t work out. You meet plenty of fine women but it doesn’t feel like love or you can’t picture a future together. I’m not sure men care so much what you do but you have to be passionate and interesting. Saying you want to marry a rich guy and wondering where to find them is probably not the way to do it.

I’m already married but I meet successful men often. We live in a wealthy neighborhood. We are members at a country club. I like to work out.

As others mentioned, maybe focus on a hobby. I would not personally want to do a hobby I don’t enjoy but I’m sure plenty of women do this. DH and my children all golf and play tennis. I’m just not interested. I do attend a lot of practices and matches for my kids and all the dads seem well off - lawyers, doctors, executives, business owners.

Attending a top university would put you in the right path to meeting rich guys or future rich guys.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to reframe this conversation and look for an ambitious guy who works hard and is good with money. And based on conversations with well-off guys in my life, one element they take into consideration when looking at a life partner is the amount of debt they would inherit through marriage. If at all possible, I'd work to clean that up so that you can be proud of it when entering a relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m amused by all these posters saying “a successful guy in his 30s will only marry an equally successful woman.”

No. That happens, but rarely at this age because by 35, successful people are in a trajectory where the last thing they need is a partner in the same phase. It’s going to make kids impossible and you’re going to be at odds a lot.

More often, they marry a woman “on their level” — similar education background, maybe spent a few years in law or consulting before bailing for an easier gig, has some family money/support to sweeten the deal. But she’s not got some hard charging career— she’s fully ready to pivot to kids with a less stressful job or maybe even being a SAHM.

Guy here. Are you speaking from experience or just guessing? I have successful single male friends in that age range. They just don't think that closely about the logistics of having a family like that. I have 2 friends who are partners at law firms, and while they may not be seeking out a female mate who is also a partner (grueling schedule), they'd have no problem with dating someone in a less-stressful legal job (another lawyer friend married a US gov't lawyer).

There's a big difference between hard-charging career, and being a project manager at a non-profit just whiling the days away. The men I know go for someone in between those ranges.

I think once you are older, you probably were at some point in love and for whatever reason, it didn’t work out. You meet plenty of fine women but it doesn’t feel like love or you can’t picture a future together. I’m not sure men care so much what you do but you have to be passionate and interesting. Saying you want to marry a rich guy and wondering where to find them is probably not the way to do it.

I’m already married but I meet successful men often. We live in a wealthy neighborhood. We are members at a country club. I like to work out.

As others mentioned, maybe focus on a hobby. I would not personally want to do a hobby I don’t enjoy but I’m sure plenty of women do this. DH and my children all golf and play tennis. I’m just not interested. I do attend a lot of practices and matches for my kids and all the dads seem well off - lawyers, doctors, executives, business owners.

Attending a top university would put you in the right path to meeting rich guys or future rich guys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m amused by all these posters saying “a successful guy in his 30s will only marry an equally successful woman.”

No. That happens, but rarely at this age because by 35, successful people are in a trajectory where the last thing they need is a partner in the same phase. It’s going to make kids impossible and you’re going to be at odds a lot.

More often, they marry a woman “on their level” — similar education background, maybe spent a few years in law or consulting before bailing for an easier gig, has some family money/support to sweeten the deal. But she’s not got some hard charging career— she’s fully ready to pivot to kids with a less stressful job or maybe even being a SAHM.

Guy here. Are you speaking from experience or just guessing? I have successful single male friends in that age range. They just don't think that closely about the logistics of having a family like that. I have 2 friends who are partners at law firms, and while they may not be seeking out a female mate who is also a partner (grueling schedule), they'd have no problem with dating someone in a less-stressful legal job (another lawyer friend married a US gov't lawyer).

There's a big difference between hard-charging career, and being a project manager at a non-profit just whiling the days away. The men I know go for someone in between those ranges.

Anonymous wrote:The real question is, how do you NOT marry a rich man? Is a man even worth marrying if he is not rich? I look at my friends and harshly judge those that did not land a rich husband. It's a marker of failure for a woman to marry anything under the top 1%

Anonymous wrote:I’m amused by all these posters saying “a successful guy in his 30s will only marry an equally successful woman.”

No. That happens, but rarely at this age because by 35, successful people are in a trajectory where the last thing they need is a partner in the same phase. It’s going to make kids impossible and you’re going to be at odds a lot.

More often, they marry a woman “on their level” — similar education background, maybe spent a few years in law or consulting before bailing for an easier gig, has some family money/support to sweeten the deal. But she’s not got some hard charging career— she’s fully ready to pivot to kids with a less stressful job or maybe even being a SAHM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not in DC. You need a more conservative guy who is into the traditional marriage roles. Virginia and further south. Church, gyms, triathlons. Plenty of guys who do not want equality in the home but want to be taken care of and their home taken care of and they just work and play golf etc.

Eh, those guys are all married with kids by the time they are OP's age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m amused by all these posters saying “a successful guy in his 30s will only marry an equally successful woman.”

No. That happens, but rarely at this age because by 35, successful people are in a trajectory where the last thing they need is a partner in the same phase. It’s going to make kids impossible and you’re going to be at odds a lot.

More often, they marry a woman “on their level” — similar education background, maybe spent a few years in law or consulting before bailing for an easier gig, has some family money/support to sweeten the deal. But she’s not got some hard charging career— she’s fully ready to pivot to kids with a less stressful job or maybe even being a SAHM.

OP, that could be you. I think you need to learn to brand yourself. You’re coming off as a bit of a sad sack. Learn to tell your story in a more appealing way, then go hard for corporate lawyers or similar on dating apps. Ask friends who work for high paying employers if they know any single guys. Then sell yourself. Be charming, upbeat, interested in him. Do you have a cute hobby that gives you an excuse to dress super sexy on an early date? Something like roller derby? You need to get methodical about this.

If they want kids, why not marry someone who is 25-30 instead of OP, though?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not in DC. You need a more conservative guy who is into the traditional marriage roles. Virginia and further south. Church, gyms, triathlons. Plenty of guys who do not want equality in the home but want to be taken care of and their home taken care of and they just work and play golf etc.

Eh, those guys are all married with kids by the time they are OP's age.

Anonymous wrote:I’m amused by all these posters saying “a successful guy in his 30s will only marry an equally successful woman.”

No. That happens, but rarely at this age because by 35, successful people are in a trajectory where the last thing they need is a partner in the same phase. It’s going to make kids impossible and you’re going to be at odds a lot.

More often, they marry a woman “on their level” — similar education background, maybe spent a few years in law or consulting before bailing for an easier gig, has some family money/support to sweeten the deal. But she’s not got some hard charging career— she’s fully ready to pivot to kids with a less stressful job or maybe even being a SAHM.

OP, that could be you. I think you need to learn to brand yourself. You’re coming off as a bit of a sad sack. Learn to tell your story in a more appealing way, then go hard for corporate lawyers or similar on dating apps. Ask friends who work for high paying employers if they know any single guys. Then sell yourself. Be charming, upbeat, interested in him. Do you have a cute hobby that gives you an excuse to dress super sexy on an early date? Something like roller derby? You need to get methodical about this.

Anonymous wrote:Not in DC. You need a more conservative guy who is into the traditional marriage roles. Virginia and further south. Church, gyms, triathlons. Plenty of guys who do not want equality in the home but want to be taken care of and their home taken care of and they just work and play golf etc.