Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

If women are somewhere to meet others, like at a bar or concert or even at a bookstore browsing after work? Sure.

If they are working or just trying to get groceries or run errands? No. That's what apps are for now.

Anonymous wrote:^ That's all fine and reasonable, except where certain women decide that if a man does anything at all unwanted, he's a "creep" or "toxic."

So? The man should back off then.

^ That's all fine and reasonable, except where certain women decide that if a man does anything at all unwanted, he's a "creep" or "toxic."

So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a man this thread is quite entertaining given how women complain how difficult it is to meet men exclusive of the apps. Yes, many situations are wrong and many men are creeps but the thread is basically stay away from me.

Talk to a woman who trusts you about her earliest experiences with creepy guys. Women get creepy, inappropriate male attention from a very, very young age. Yes, the learned distrust makes it hard to meet nice guys. But it also keeps us alive.

Same reason men think women are just interested in athletic popular douchebags and that they're full of shit when they say they want a man who is funny, sensitive, etc. Lessons learned at a young age sink deep.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only men who are approaching women in person are the ones who have problems. These are the same ones who think it is okay to approach women in the work place. Just use an app like normal person would. Even if a woman at work is on an app skip her.

Times have changed. In general if you see a woman you are attracted to ignore her. She does not want your sex attention.

This is completely untrue. My younger sister and her friends go out to bars, concerts, social events partly to meet and socialize with single guys. They don’t want to be harassed and stalked but it’s hardly strange for a man to strike up a conversation at a bar.

I agree! Plenty of women have met nice guys in bars. I married a guy I met in a bar!

Anonymous wrote:As a man this thread is quite entertaining given how women complain how difficult it is to meet men exclusive of the apps. Yes, many situations are wrong and many men are creeps but the thread is basically stay away from me.

Talk to a woman who trusts you about her earliest experiences with creepy guys. Women get creepy, inappropriate male attention from a very, very young age. Yes, the learned distrust makes it hard to meet nice guys. But it also keeps us alive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a man this thread is quite entertaining given how women complain how difficult it is to meet men exclusive of the apps. Yes, many situations are wrong and many men are creeps but the thread is basically stay away from me.

You've already gotten some good responses to this but many of us who responded are married and are therefore not interested in being approached. Also many commenters said they didn't mind being approached under the right circumstances and then took the time to explain what those circumstances are, and you apparently ignored those comments. You are taking the comments that conform your bias against women and generalizing them.

But it's probably for the best because I think you can safely assume that most women don't want you to approach them.

I’m a woman and I agree with him. DCUM is loaded with threads about how difficult it is for single women to meet someone and he notes situations and creeps as being qualifiers of a sort. I’m sure he wasn’t referring to married women.

I'd be happy to have a guy approach me and express interest in me.

Just don't make any weird sexual or beauty compliments. Strike up a conversation and see where it goes.

I saw a guy chatting up a woman the other day, it started with him asking about her dog. Don't know if any numbers were exchanged, but to me that's a nice normal thing to start with,.

Anonymous wrote:Yes I think you should. I find it courageous, frankly, when a man actually has the nerve to approach and start conversation now. People are either too "busy" with their phone or computer too nervous to speak to people they don't know.

Be nice and polite, no beauty/looks compliments. And be quick to take a hint if she isn't responsive or doesn't seem interested. No big deal.

+1. Unless you have serious problems reading social cues, go for it.

Anonymous wrote:The only men who are approaching women in person are the ones who have problems. These are the same ones who think it is okay to approach women in the work place. Just use an app like normal person would. Even if a woman at work is on an app skip her.

Times have changed. In general if you see a woman you are attracted to ignore her. She does not want your sex attention.

This is completely untrue. My younger sister and her friends go out to bars, concerts, social events partly to meet and socialize with single guys. They don’t want to be harassed and stalked but it’s hardly strange for a man to strike up a conversation at a bar.

I’m 30, cute but not striking, friendly looking. I prefer to be asked out in person, as do my friends. The apps feel so transactional and it’s nice to feel like I’m meeting someone by chance. As long as it’s done respectfully, I have no issue politely saying no if I’m not interested or giving out my number if we have a good conversation.

Anonymous wrote:As a man this thread is quite entertaining given how women complain how difficult it is to meet men exclusive of the apps. Yes, many situations are wrong and many men are creeps but the thread is basically stay away from me.

You've already gotten some good responses to this but many of us who responded are married and are therefore not interested in being approached. Also many commenters said they didn't mind being approached under the right circumstances and then took the time to explain what those circumstances are, and you apparently ignored those comments. You are taking the comments that conform your bias against women and generalizing them.

But it's probably for the best because I think you can safely assume that most women don't want you to approach them.

The only men who are approaching women in person are the ones who have problems. These are the same ones who think it is okay to approach women in the work place. Just use an app like normal person would. Even if a woman at work is on an app skip her.

Times have changed. In general if you see a woman you are attracted to ignore her. She does not want your sex attention.