Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would be hurt. I don't see why if she is invited, you have to babysit. Just don't volunteer for it or if it's an established practice, tell her you can't do it this time.

I also ask you this: when your kids were little, did she and others in your family change family vacation plans to accommodate the fact that you had little ones (choice of places or activities)? I see this dynamic in large families where everyone accommodates when the older kids' kids are born because -- yay, first grandkids! -- and fusses over the grandkids, and then by the time the younger kids have kids, it's all "your little kids are cramping our style!" and nobody cares about the later kids. A bit selfish if you ask me. If she accommodated your kids before, the least you can do is extend the invitation.

Anonymous wrote:My older sister and I are planning on taking our families skiing either this Christmas Break, or next if covid dictates that. The youngest kid will be 10 and all are competent skiers, so everyone is old enough for a fair amount of independence on and off the slopes.

We didn’t invite my younger sister, whose kids range from 0 to 10. We love her but little kids would just change the dynamic. I can guarantee that if they come I’ll end up offering to stay back with the baby, while she skis or taking the 4 year with me and being stuck on the bunny slope. Plus then we’ll need to be quiet in the house after bedtime, and . . . Well traveling with little ones is just different. We’ve all been there.

But I also have a fourth sister, who is much younger and a newlywed with no kids. We are thinking of inviting them.

Would you be hurt if all your siblings went somewhere without you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read through 4 pages of comments and am shocked only 1 other person feels this way--I wouldn't care. But I have brothers, not sisters, so perhaps there is something to a sister dynamic I (thankfully) am not subjected to as a part of life.

Can't you just explain to the sister with the little kids what you explained here? You know your sister and whether she'll get it or flip out...I guess on the flip side, is there a reason you will personally feel responsible for making sure her kids are watched so your sister has fun? That's not your responsibility. To me it sounds like perhaps there is a more complex dynamic between this particular sister and OP that has brought upon this question in the first place.

But in general, I'm truly shocked by all these responses, as it wouldn't even occur to me to be "hurt." But I'm not offended by every little thing that happens in the world around me...

So if you and two of your brothers went on a family vacation and left one brother out, you don’t think that brother would care at all? I’m not sure I believe that.

We are not close, so none of us would care if something occurred like this.

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you’re not my sister, and that you’re not my kids’ aunt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read through 4 pages of comments and am shocked only 1 other person feels this way--I wouldn't care. But I have brothers, not sisters, so perhaps there is something to a sister dynamic I (thankfully) am not subjected to as a part of life.

Can't you just explain to the sister with the little kids what you explained here? You know your sister and whether she'll get it or flip out...I guess on the flip side, is there a reason you will personally feel responsible for making sure her kids are watched so your sister has fun? That's not your responsibility. To me it sounds like perhaps there is a more complex dynamic between this particular sister and OP that has brought upon this question in the first place.

But in general, I'm truly shocked by all these responses, as it wouldn't even occur to me to be "hurt." But I'm not offended by every little thing that happens in the world around me...

So if you and two of your brothers went on a family vacation and left one brother out, you don’t think that brother would care at all? I’m not sure I believe that.

We are not close, so none of us would care if something occurred like this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read through 4 pages of comments and am shocked only 1 other person feels this way--I wouldn't care. But I have brothers, not sisters, so perhaps there is something to a sister dynamic I (thankfully) am not subjected to as a part of life.

Can't you just explain to the sister with the little kids what you explained here? You know your sister and whether she'll get it or flip out...I guess on the flip side, is there a reason you will personally feel responsible for making sure her kids are watched so your sister has fun? That's not your responsibility. To me it sounds like perhaps there is a more complex dynamic between this particular sister and OP that has brought upon this question in the first place.

But in general, I'm truly shocked by all these responses, as it wouldn't even occur to me to be "hurt." But I'm not offended by every little thing that happens in the world around me...

So if you and two of your brothers went on a family vacation and left one brother out, you don’t think that brother would care at all? I’m not sure I believe that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read through 4 pages of comments and am shocked only 1 other person feels this way--I wouldn't care. But I have brothers, not sisters, so perhaps there is something to a sister dynamic I (thankfully) am not subjected to as a part of life.

Can't you just explain to the sister with the little kids what you explained here? You know your sister and whether she'll get it or flip out...I guess on the flip side, is there a reason you will personally feel responsible for making sure her kids are watched so your sister has fun? That's not your responsibility. To me it sounds like perhaps there is a more complex dynamic between this particular sister and OP that has brought upon this question in the first place.

But in general, I'm truly shocked by all these responses, as it wouldn't even occur to me to be "hurt." But I'm not offended by every little thing that happens in the world around me...

So if you and two of your brothers went on a family vacation and left one brother out, you don’t think that brother would care at all? I’m not sure I believe that.

Anonymous wrote:I read through 4 pages of comments and am shocked only 1 other person feels this way--I wouldn't care. But I have brothers, not sisters, so perhaps there is something to a sister dynamic I (thankfully) am not subjected to as a part of life.

Can't you just explain to the sister with the little kids what you explained here? You know your sister and whether she'll get it or flip out...I guess on the flip side, is there a reason you will personally feel responsible for making sure her kids are watched so your sister has fun? That's not your responsibility. To me it sounds like perhaps there is a more complex dynamic between this particular sister and OP that has brought upon this question in the first place.

But in general, I'm truly shocked by all these responses, as it wouldn't even occur to me to be "hurt." But I'm not offended by every little thing that happens in the world around me...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read through 4 pages of comments and am shocked only 1 other person feels this way--I wouldn't care. But I have brothers, not sisters, so perhaps there is something to a sister dynamic I (thankfully) am not subjected to as a part of life.

Can't you just explain to the sister with the little kids what you explained here? You know your sister and whether she'll get it or flip out...I guess on the flip side, is there a reason you will personally feel responsible for making sure her kids are watched so your sister has fun? That's not your responsibility. To me it sounds like perhaps there is a more complex dynamic between this particular sister and OP that has brought upon this question in the first place.

But in general, I'm truly shocked by all these responses, as it wouldn't even occur to me to be "hurt." But I'm not offended by every little thing that happens in the world around me...

I have brothers and would also not care. But I am also a woman and have female friend groups and the same basic principal applies. If 3/4 people in a friend group get together and don't even message the other one, that is mean. Brothers it is just different. I don't even have a sister but see this.

But she didn't say they'd all keep it a secret. OP can explain the feelings about what this sort of trip is....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read through 4 pages of comments and am shocked only 1 other person feels this way--I wouldn't care. But I have brothers, not sisters, so perhaps there is something to a sister dynamic I (thankfully) am not subjected to as a part of life.

Can't you just explain to the sister with the little kids what you explained here? You know your sister and whether she'll get it or flip out...I guess on the flip side, is there a reason you will personally feel responsible for making sure her kids are watched so your sister has fun? That's not your responsibility. To me it sounds like perhaps there is a more complex dynamic between this particular sister and OP that has brought upon this question in the first place.

But in general, I'm truly shocked by all these responses, as it wouldn't even occur to me to be "hurt." But I'm not offended by every little thing that happens in the world around me...

I have brothers and would also not care. But I am also a woman and have female friend groups and the same basic principal applies. If 3/4 people in a friend group get together and don't even message the other one, that is mean. Brothers it is just different. I don't even have a sister but see this.