Anonymous
Post 08/13/2021 07:41     Subject: Re:I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
You would be surprised how many are due to the wife cheating. She will never tell people that. She will blame the demise of the marriage on him and he’s too mortified to tell people she was having an affair. Some of the most plain, middle aged “mom” types would surprise you.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2021 07:35     Subject: I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
Anonymous wrote:You would probably never guess my DH told me to ABORT our perfectly health second child because he decided he just doesn't like kids. Do you think I'm going to broadcast that?

Yes we are divorced. I dumped him and kept the kid.



Is he involved with the second child at all?
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2021 01:19     Subject: I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have been in therapy all year and I have told 0 people. Never will. Even if they ask. Why is that so hard to understand?


Same. Sought therapy because husband is emotionally abusive. I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2021 18:17     Subject: I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
Anonymous wrote:You would probably never guess my DH told me to ABORT our perfectly health second child because he decided he just doesn't like kids. Do you think I'm going to broadcast that?

Yes we are divorced. I dumped him and kept the kid.


You did the right thing! I can't imagine a husband doing that. My husband was happy with two and didn't want a third but when I got pregnant he was all in.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2021 18:12     Subject: Re:I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
Thankfully we didn't have children and we seemed to have a very happy five year marriage when I found out my wife had been having a year long affair with a guy she worked and traveled with on business. Shell shocked falls short of describing my reaction. Her sister later told me that she had been unfaithful with BF's so who knows what was happening when I was dating her. I thought we were a nice happy couple so you never know.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2021 17:40     Subject: I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
You would probably never guess my DH told me to ABORT our perfectly health second child because he decided he just doesn't like kids. Do you think I'm going to broadcast that?

Yes we are divorced. I dumped him and kept the kid.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2021 17:35     Subject: I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Gee, OP. It's almost as if people don't owe you the personal and private details of their marriage and their decisions.

Get a life.


I don't need to know the private details. It seems pretty obvious that their kids would be better off with their parents together and the parents are just being selfish. But clearly you all think getting divorced is NBD so have fun, I guess?


Having parents who are always fighting because (parent) is a drunk, or a cheater, and a liar, or watching (parent) tolerate said abuse is not healthy for kids either.

The divorce isn't the selfish part. It's the behavior that CAUSED the divorce that (parent) should be ashamed of.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2021 17:34     Subject: I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you know there’s no abuse, adultery, or addiction?


Because its the close friend of my husband and he confirmed it. He's basically just...leaving her.


OP. Men just don’t think this way. Something happened. Even if it was a long slide into being roommates, “something” happened. He just isn’t telling you. Or, in six months, he will introduce you guys to his soul mate.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2021 17:33     Subject: I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you know there’s no abuse, adultery, or addiction?


Because its the close friend of my husband and he confirmed it. He's basically just...leaving her.


HE told you he's "just leaving her"? LOL so he didn't admit to hookers and blow?

Shocking
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2021 17:32     Subject: I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
Anonymous wrote:Just learned of another one today. No abuse, no adultery or addiction. Functioning involved parents to three kids. They didn't even see a therapist. We are early 40's and most people we know have kids in upper elementary and MS. The pace of divorce announcements seems to be ticking up.

WTAF?


You never know what goes on behind closed doors.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2021 17:27     Subject: I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
LOL OP —- is this also a good time to tell you that when I told my last boss that I so valued and appreciated my time at the company, and a better opportunity simply came my way that I couldn’t pass up, that it … wasn’t true?

Anonymous
Post 08/12/2021 17:16     Subject: Re:I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
This was us ! To a T!

But what you don’t know is that his and was cheating for months and months.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2021 17:00     Subject: I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
I'm not saying that every couple has a dark secret that could lead to divorce, but if you heard the stories in my UMC neighborhood full of yoga pants wives and giant SUVs, your head would spin.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2021 17:00     Subject: I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
That's right, you will never understand it because they are never going to tell you.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2021 16:51     Subject: I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Gee, OP. It's almost as if people don't owe you the personal and private details of their marriage and their decisions.

Get a life.


I don't need to know the private details. It seems pretty obvious that their kids would be better off with their parents together and the parents are just being selfish. But clearly you all think getting divorced is NBD so have fun, I guess?


I have two children and have been happily married for 10 years, but nice try.

Anyway, the husband isn't telling you the reasons because it's none of your business. Buzz off. Buzz. Off. You are nosy, intrusive and think you are owed personal information. You are not. By the way, you might want to look to your own marriage--happy people don't get this fixated and don't project so much. Best of luck.


I'm not nosy. I didn't even talk to him. HE called my husband and WANTED TO TELL HIM.

I'm still in complete shock. You wouldn't be?


If my DH and I end up splitting he will certainly call his close friends and tell them it’s over. He’ll likely leave out the fact that he drinks excessively and is verbally abusive when he does. He’ll probably tell them something like “it didn’t work out” or “we just don’t communicate well.”

I’d tell my close friends the truth, but I’d tell everyone else something bland.

He’s in treatment and we’re in therapy, so hopefully it doesn’t come to that. I’m not sure he’s told anyone about either thing.



agree. THe abuser will say "different personalities" or "just so different" and then move on to the next victim or treat the kids the same way.