Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pregnant and arriving at Union Station at nearly midnight on Wednesday. I will jump in an Uber and head home. I genuinely don't understand what the concern is. Does he not know how to use Uber?

Uber? Rando drivers and rando cars?

Yes. That's what Uber is. Is there a question?

Anonymous wrote:Bullet train? It’s the Acela. This isn’t Japan. Any your son is 20 years old. Honestly, let’s hope he stays in NY and gets on with his real life. If for some reason he chooses to return to Reston, who cares how he gets there? Let him hitchhike for God’s sake. The man is 20!!

No mystery why he’s not street smart, as you put it.

This made me laugh way harder than it should have. Most people of means traverse Europe solo by this age, OP. Cut the cord.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He gets off the Acela at New Carrollton, and goes over to the Orange line. Then depending on the time he switches to the Silver at East Falls Church and goes to Reston, or someone comes and gets him at Vienna. Metro is now staying open until midnight.

How on earth do you people survive in the real world.

OP again. I also love the idea of him getting off at BWI. One of us could easily grab him there as well. SO much easier then a late night into the city

Person who took the (acela) train every week to nyc, though have taken the regional a bunch - bwi is insanely easy. Step off the train, cross the tracks on the sky bridge, walk into the car. Kid can park there for $9/day. Highly recommend.

Oh wait, not from Reston. If it bugs you, come get your kid from union station. Or have him park. Why is this a question you are trying to answer versus him?

Picking him up from Union Station would mean Dad has to drive into a scary part of town and if the train is delayed dad will be sitting in a car outside just bait for evildoers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He gets off the Acela at New Carrollton, and goes over to the Orange line. Then depending on the time he switches to the Silver at East Falls Church and goes to Reston, or someone comes and gets him at Vienna. Metro is now staying open until midnight.

How on earth do you people survive in the real world.

OP again. I also love the idea of him getting off at BWI. One of us could easily grab him there as well. SO much easier then a late night into the city

Person who took the (acela) train every week to nyc, though have taken the regional a bunch - bwi is insanely easy. Step off the train, cross the tracks on the sky bridge, walk into the car. Kid can park there for $9/day. Highly recommend.

Oh wait, not from Reston. If it bugs you, come get your kid from union station. Or have him park. Why is this a question you are trying to answer versus him?

Because she has untreated anxiety.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He gets off the Acela at New Carrollton, and goes over to the Orange line. Then depending on the time he switches to the Silver at East Falls Church and goes to Reston, or someone comes and gets him at Vienna. Metro is now staying open until midnight.

How on earth do you people survive in the real world.

OP again. I also love the idea of him getting off at BWI. One of us could easily grab him there as well. SO much easier then a late night into the city

Person who took the (acela) train every week to nyc, though have taken the regional a bunch - bwi is insanely easy. Step off the train, cross the tracks on the sky bridge, walk into the car. Kid can park there for $9/day. Highly recommend.

Oh wait, not from Reston. If it bugs you, come get your kid from union station. Or have him park. Why is this a question you are trying to answer versus him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He gets off the Acela at New Carrollton, and goes over to the Orange line. Then depending on the time he switches to the Silver at East Falls Church and goes to Reston, or someone comes and gets him at Vienna. Metro is now staying open until midnight.

How on earth do you people survive in the real world.

OP again. I also love the idea of him getting off at BWI. One of us could easily grab him there as well. SO much easier then a late night into the city

Person who took the (acela) train every week to nyc, though have taken the regional a bunch - bwi is insanely easy. Step off the train, cross the tracks on the sky bridge, walk into the car. Kid can park there for $9/day. Highly recommend.

Anonymous wrote:I have any even better idea for Op. Her son should get off at Baltimore, Penn Station, take the light rail to Camden and get picked up there. Super safe. Why not?

Makes no sense, just like this dumb thread. So does taking the orange line at New Carrollton all the way around to transfer to Silver to Reston. He will arrive on Friday, maybe.

Has to be a troll.

I thought I was the only person flummoxed by the idea that it is better to drive to BWI to New Carrollton from Reston? I was questioning geography!

OP, is your son scared or are you scaring him? If he is scared then NYCis going to much worse. How will he traverse New York? Ask him his opinion. But driving to NC or BWI is nuts. Just pick him up at Union Station. Easy Peasy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He gets off the Acela at New Carrollton, and goes over to the Orange line. Then depending on the time he switches to the Silver at East Falls Church and goes to Reston, or someone comes and gets him at Vienna. Metro is now staying open until midnight.

How on earth do you people survive in the real world.

OP again. I also love the idea of him getting off at BWI. One of us could easily grab him there as well. SO much easier then a late night into the city

OP, you seem really scared of DC.

When is your son taking this trip?

I suggest you and he get on the Metro and just take a trip around DC together, up till late in the evening. Just walk around Union Station at 10 PM yourself with him. Buy something. Use the bathroom. Hang out. Then take the metro back home. You are so petrified of what could happen, probably because of lack of experience. SO just go with him.

I send my 14 year old daughter alone into DC on the metro! She's a much bigger target than your 20 year old son, no matter how slight he is. Dress smart, walk assertively, don't look like you have anything valuable to steal.

Been to DC many times. Don’t care about daytime much. Reminds me of the guy who told his wife it was just fine to walk home from the bar in Capitol Hill at night, only to end up in a coma with severe brain damage

It reminds me of everyone I know who said they’ll be fine taking public transportation and then they were fine.

Yes, sometimes random things happen, but like with your neighbor, they can happen in the safest places too, despite all of your anxious overprotecting. My friend had an aneurysm while feeding her horses and died before she could walk from the stable to her house. Maybe I should hover while my kids care for their pets in case something bad happens.

I’m shocked that your cousin (I think, some relative at least) offered to let your son stay the night. I can’t imagine a day trip to a bookstore being such a big deal that I’d broadcast all the planning to friends and family.

I mean this kindly. I have anxiety. It sucks. I can relate. But treating it helps and can make your life (and your family’s lives) so much better and easier. In the moment, if feels like you’re the normal one and everyone else is too loosey goosey, but you’re really setting your kids up for issues. Anxiety is one of those fun things that’s both nature and nurture, so having an anxious mom means there’s a genetic predisposition and you’re teaching him it’s better to embrace the anxiety instead of living a normal, healthy life.

Did you pick up hitchhikers with the kids in the car when they were little? My husband used to use the anxiety line to justify this behavior. Forbidding him to go at all is anxiety. Asking him to use some common sense in traveling is something else again, given how much more crime-ridden DC has become under the guidance of Bowser. Some of our cities leadership is literally letting the inmates run the asylum.

So you’re saying your husband has thought you’ve had anxiety for years but you refused to take his concerns seriously. When the internet strangers you ask for advice (after consulting friends and extended family) for how you can plan a day trip (for your adult son because you feel like public transit is unsafe) and they pick up on your anxiety vibes, you deflect and dismiss them because they don’t participate in objectively dangerous behavior and pretend that’s clinical anxiety too.

One anxious way of responding to this situation would be to forbid him to go. Funny that you’re not doing that, since he’s an adult and doesn’t need permission. Another anxiety ridden response is to try to control everything, like you’re doing. Did he ask you do plan every little detail? Really ask, like “mom, can you help me with this” or give up and say “fine you plan it” after you dismissed everything he said as naive?

If you’d try public transportation and familiarize yourself with the situations you’re concerned about, you’d probably get over some of your anxiety. It feels foreign to you because it’s new. The labels you’re using (bullet train) and assumptions you’re making (bus is far superior to train) suggest to me that you’re not totally familiar with how it all works, and you’re trying to control something you don’t really know much about. One way to treat anxiety is exposure therapy. When you do something more and you’re familiar with it, it seems less scary. You desensitize yourself to it. That doesn’t mean you abandon common sense and personal safety, it means you don’t call 911 because a homeless person walks toward you.

My boys have been taking the metro alone since 6th grade. If your son can't handle the metro, he probably should not be going to NY alone. I'm happy to send my 8th grader to baby sit him though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He gets off the Acela at New Carrollton, and goes over to the Orange line. Then depending on the time he switches to the Silver at East Falls Church and goes to Reston, or someone comes and gets him at Vienna. Metro is now staying open until midnight.

How on earth do you people survive in the real world.

OP again. I also love the idea of him getting off at BWI. One of us could easily grab him there as well. SO much easier then a late night into the city

OP, you seem really scared of DC.

When is your son taking this trip?

I suggest you and he get on the Metro and just take a trip around DC together, up till late in the evening. Just walk around Union Station at 10 PM yourself with him. Buy something. Use the bathroom. Hang out. Then take the metro back home. You are so petrified of what could happen, probably because of lack of experience. SO just go with him.

I send my 14 year old daughter alone into DC on the metro! She's a much bigger target than your 20 year old son, no matter how slight he is. Dress smart, walk assertively, don't look like you have anything valuable to steal.

Been to DC many times. Don’t care about daytime much. Reminds me of the guy who told his wife it was just fine to walk home from the bar in Capitol Hill at night, only to end up in a coma with severe brain damage

It reminds me of everyone I know who said they’ll be fine taking public transportation and then they were fine.

Yes, sometimes random things happen, but like with your neighbor, they can happen in the safest places too, despite all of your anxious overprotecting. My friend had an aneurysm while feeding her horses and died before she could walk from the stable to her house. Maybe I should hover while my kids care for their pets in case something bad happens.

I’m shocked that your cousin (I think, some relative at least) offered to let your son stay the night. I can’t imagine a day trip to a bookstore being such a big deal that I’d broadcast all the planning to friends and family.

I mean this kindly. I have anxiety. It sucks. I can relate. But treating it helps and can make your life (and your family’s lives) so much better and easier. In the moment, if feels like you’re the normal one and everyone else is too loosey goosey, but you’re really setting your kids up for issues. Anxiety is one of those fun things that’s both nature and nurture, so having an anxious mom means there’s a genetic predisposition and you’re teaching him it’s better to embrace the anxiety instead of living a normal, healthy life.

Did you pick up hitchhikers with the kids in the car when they were little? My husband used to use the anxiety line to justify this behavior. Forbidding him to go at all is anxiety. Asking him to use some common sense in traveling is something else again, given how much more crime-ridden DC has become under the guidance of Bowser. Some of our cities leadership is literally letting the inmates run the asylum.

NP but you are not helping your son by doing all of this planning and fretting for him. He needs to be in uncomfortable situations and new situations to get his bearings and get some street smarts. That is really important to develop. He is an adult, and I would worry that if you keep projecting your anxiety on to him that he will eventually distance himself from you. I have some friends with very involved parents and they eventually kept them at arms length because they wanted to live their lives. Let him figure this out, it's not that hard.

I agree that as sketchy as it might be, he should be able to get to the taxi/uber pickup. No earbuds, focus on surroundings, follow everyone else going the same way, don't engage with random people in the station.


All that said: if the metro option means you have to pick him up at Reston (or wherever) to get home, I'd just drive to the station to get him--it will take FOREVER on the metro and the whole thing would just be much faster.

Anonymous wrote:
Been to DC many times. Don’t care about daytime much. Reminds me of the guy who told his wife it was just fine to walk home from the bar in Capitol Hill at night, only to end up in a coma with severe brain damage

Thousands of people walk around Capitol Hill at night with no problem every evening. There is nothing special about the dark that will make your son less safe than he is during the day. This is a very odd response.

OP I think you have anxiety.
If you are that nervous about this, maybe you and your husband should take your son on a test run to union station at night to see what it’s like and to make sure he knows where to go and how to avoid scary people.
You have to let him go. You know it’s not good to hover this much over a 20-year-old. You keep saying he’s naive— he may be that way because of sheltering. I say this with kindness. Take a breath, prepare him for the trip, have a good plan (I’d hire a private driver to meet him) and let him grow up a little.

As other PPs have said, Union Station even in the before times is pretty quiet later in the evenings. And yes, there are homeless people wandering around and it can feel a bit foreboding. But getting off a train and walking to the exit in order to grab a taxi or an Uber is *not* dangerous for anyone. I have a sheltered teenager and the only way to help them become adults is to let them find their way on their own. The only thing I would tell my kid is that walking alone at night with earbuds in is probably a bad idea.

Anonymous wrote:I'm pregnant and arriving at Union Station at nearly midnight on Wednesday. I will jump in an Uber and head home. I genuinely don't understand what the concern is. Does he not know how to use Uber?

Uber? Rando drivers and rando cars?