Anonymous wrote:I just do not believe you had on AVERAGE 6 hours of work a night.

My DC uses her free periods at school to do homework, so it's conceivable that a student has 1-2 hours during the school day for homework and then spends 4 more at home.

The point I would stress is that not every kind of kid is cut out for this kind of intensity; in fact, I think those that are cut out for it are in the minority, including my kid. I was a fine student in HS (top public that was also a HYPS feeder), but I wanted to spend more of my time hangout out with my friends instead of burning the midnight oil over homework. My kid, though, is incredibly organized and passionate about her studies, traits I'm sure she gets from my husband. Those who are seeking to tap into the "prestige" of the school by forcing their kids to attend when their kids don't have that passion to do it are in for a world of hurt.

I just do not believe you had on AVERAGE 6 hours of work a night.

I loved it because I was learning meaningful, fascinating, enlarging stuff from teachers I admired and with classmates I had fun with. I just thought school was really fun. So time to "have fun or just be a kid"--well, that's what I was doing when I was doing my work for school. (Not that I didn't also spend time having fun in non-academic ways--I totally did. But I didn't feel like school was a chore or a rat race and non-school stuff was more important.) I'm not sure how I slept, but I did, particularly in the earlier years of high school. Probably not quite enough. But it was never a problem, really. And because I loved what I was doing so much, I didn't really mind.

How did you love doing 6 hrs of homework a night? I believe you, but I can't imagine with all you did how you had anytime to have fun or just be a kid. That much homework would be he'll for me.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is perplexing and sad. I went to a top DC private school and had on average about 6+ hours of work each night. And I loved it. I also did multiple extracurriculars (sports, pretty intense music, newspaper, other academic) and spent a lot of meaningful time with my friends and family. I got a lot of work done at school but also spent a ton of time just lounging around with friends. Maybe I didn't sleep quite as much as I could have, but I caught up on weekends and usually actually did sleep plenty--I wouldn't change that. I did go to an Ivy, but not because I wanted the prestige--just as I worked hard in my high school classes because I loved the stuff I was learning, not because I wanted good grades. It's really sad to think that people are talking about working hard only because they care about prestige and official markers of success. High school should be fun; there's amazing stuff to learn and amazing experiences to be had along the way if you really throw yourself into it, but that does involve doing a lot of work if you want to really learn a lot. I wouldn't want my kid to go to a school where she wasn't asked to work a lot, because it wouldn't be as much fun or as fulfilling.

It's great that you had such a positive experience!

6+ seems very high, even compared to most private schools. If you don't mind me asking, how did you manage to get enough sleep?

This thread is perplexing and sad. I went to a top DC private school and had on average about 6+ hours of work each night. And I loved it. I also did multiple extracurriculars (sports, pretty intense music, newspaper, other academic) and spent a lot of meaningful time with my friends and family. I got a lot of work done at school but also spent a ton of time just lounging around with friends. Maybe I didn't sleep quite as much as I could have, but I caught up on weekends and usually actually did sleep plenty--I wouldn't change that. I did go to an Ivy, but not because I wanted the prestige--just as I worked hard in my high school classes because I loved the stuff I was learning, not because I wanted good grades. It's really sad to think that people are talking about working hard only because they care about prestige and official markers of success. High school should be fun; there's amazing stuff to learn and amazing experiences to be had along the way if you really throw yourself into it, but that does involve doing a lot of work if you want to really learn a lot. I wouldn't want my kid to go to a school where she wasn't asked to work a lot, because it wouldn't be as much fun or as fulfilling.

Sidwell rising junior does less than 3 hours of homework a night and studies probably 5 or 6 hours on Sundays. Plays two sports and two other extracurricular things. Only one B in two years otherwise all As.


Teaching time management is vital in early middle school. Discipline, organization and removing distractions as well as taking a break after every 45 minutes or new subject. Tackling the toughest assignment first or during study at school. A bunch of my kid’s friends are the same.

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps my kids are just slow but they study all the time.

So what are they working on? Special projects for crazy science teacher? Essays for English? Problems for math? What does their homework consist of in a typical week?

Perhaps my kids are just slow but they study all the time.

Why does it take so long? I'd be curious to understand type of work it is - is it a lot but fairly straightforward, or is it very hard? Quantity or difficulty? And how does it vary by subject?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would any parent even want this for their kids? 2 hours max and not even regularly. Life is meant to be lived. You can’t take your A plus to the grave.

No but you can put it on your transcript that you use to apply to college.

And for what? I don't want my kid grinding for 4 years just to get into a marginally better school. They don't need to do this to go to college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if your kid is overwhelmed with homework you could consider a slower-paced school. Not sure why you’d stay. Maybe it’s a super intellectual kid, activities, math and friends group, or something else at the rigorous school, but he or she would do much better elsewhere.

I have one kid thriving at a very tough school, and another kid who will barely make it through college and therefore went a much more leisurely pace at a different school.

One of the ironies of this whole conversation is that kids of parents who can afford multiple private school tuitions are not gonna end up broke in a cheap apartment somewhere if they don't get into the perfect college.

The WE MUST DO THIS!!! mentality is just out of control.

I actually would have lined up my child with more academic challenges for a trade school TBH, but child is not too “handy” either.

Congrats on letting your kids find their own levels.

The other irony is that you all disadvantage your kids getting into the most selective schools by living in this area and enrolling them in the top schools. All other things being equal, a stellar applicant from Iowa or New Mexico offers a top college more diversity. Here they compete with hundreds of local kids on the same level, only a few of which will be chosen to make up the mosaic of an incoming Ivy League school class.

Just adds to this insane mania.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if your kid is overwhelmed with homework you could consider a slower-paced school. Not sure why you’d stay. Maybe it’s a super intellectual kid, activities, math and friends group, or something else at the rigorous school, but he or she would do much better elsewhere.

I have one kid thriving at a very tough school, and another kid who will barely make it through college and therefore went a much more leisurely pace at a different school.

One of the ironies of this whole conversation is that kids of parents who can afford multiple private school tuitions are not gonna end up broke in a cheap apartment somewhere if they don't get into the perfect college.

The WE MUST DO THIS!!! mentality is just out of control.

I actually would have lined up my child with more academic challenges for a trade school TBH, but child is not too “handy” either.

Routinely only getting 5-6 hours of sleep.