Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 18:08     Subject: Re:Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer when my husband and I were 25 years old. I wanted him to be at my wedding, so we got married before we had enough saved. We ended up spending about $50k to have tons of family and friends, like a big reunion before he passed. We’ve paid it off now (5 years later) and I have zero regrets, even though we could have had something much smaller and cheaper.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 16:46     Subject: Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
Anonymous wrote:My wedding cost a fortune - it wouldn’t have if it was just my preferences but DH family immigrated here with nothing other than a student visa and our wedding represented the culmination of everything they had worked for to his parents. They’d come here, worked hard, built community, thrived professionally, and now their only child was getting married. The wanted everyone there, wanted no expense spared on flowers and food to make an exceptional party etc. Sure it might have been a little of their showing off but I think more a giant celebration for them that all their difficult choices and hardships had been worth it.

So it can represent so many different things to different people. If they have the cash and want to do it a particular way, who cares. To them it’s clearly how they want to spend their money vs a waste (unless they don’t have the money but that’s a broader issue….)


This so resonates with me too. My parents are immigrants and happily paid for my wedding (around 100k).
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 16:00     Subject: Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Told my kids: I am not paying for weddings and divorces


I tell my kids I’m paying for both!! I want big weddings and also for them to get out of bad marriages if necessary.


Hell yeah I'd help my kids out of an abusive marriage.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 15:58     Subject: Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
Why do people spend a lot on prom? Graduation parties? Baby showers?
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 15:57     Subject: Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
Anonymous wrote:I’ve been married 20 years. I think we spent about 15K which was a lot for us. In retrospect, it seems a little silly. We never see most of the friends (even wedding party) anymore. The dress I obsessed over was just a fancy white dress like so many others I’ve seen over the years. All that money spent on flowers…did anyone care? I just went to a young relative’s wedding and I’m really surprised people are still doing so much of what we did 20 years ago. The younger generation was changed so much….it seems like people are very big into “I’m doing it my way” but it’s still mostly all the standard wedding stuff but with some little twist like cookies instead of cake or dog ringbearers or weird instructions on what the guests should wear (festive beach or something inscrutable like that).


Isn't that the truth! My young relatives have all rebelled and done the same thing (with the weird twist) on their parents' dime!!
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 15:37     Subject: Re:Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
Anonymous wrote:We had a big wedding (parents), big rehearsal dinner(ILs) and even big brunch day after (DH and I). Outrageous amount of money for 1 weekend but we could all afford it.

Though I can still hear DH complain that when he called to order a limo he was quoted 1price but when he gave them the drop off address (church) the price almost doubled! When he asked why, they said because it is a wedding event. The difference in cost came with - Driver in the tux, champagne and snack in the car- for twice the price!


I’m in the wedding industry and these stories are BS. They might have a “wedding” package that includes those things but you can easily decline it. A party is a party for caterers, florists, etc. If a wedding costs more than a “birthday party” it’s because of the hours, materials, staffing or whatever. The planners imo actually should charge more because they are usually dealing with 2-6 decision makers.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 15:36     Subject: Re:Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because they have the money. Some people (or their parents) have more than they know what to do with.


Not always. I’ve had friends throw ‘mid-sized’ 40K weddings only to end up in rentals post-marriage. It’s idiocy.


+1

It's like the people that rent their home - which is fine, but don't have this all out wedding. Priorities, people.

People want to show off, but it is obvious and looks bad.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 15:35     Subject: Re:Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
People who can afford it are welcome to it. What is tacky is judging people for having small or frugal weddings because some people can’t afford it.

I have been at weddings where I have heard guests make snide comments about an inexpensive venue, decorations, dress, or entertainment. This is the height of rudeness. A colleague I was kind enough to invite to my wedding so she wouldn’t feel left out since others were going had the gall to later critique the ceremony and reception to my face. See you next Tuesday, b!

Whi cares how much your wedding cost? It’s no one else’s business. But being rude about other people’s wedding is vile.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 15:34     Subject: Re:Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
A wedding is just a big party, and some people love to throw big parties! People around here are having $100k birthday parties all the time, you just don’t hear about them.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 15:28     Subject: Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
Anonymous wrote:I think big weddings are fun. I hate being in the spot light and have issues with my family. We eloped to avoid my anxiety and have an excuse to not invite family. But I love other people’s big party. If you have the money, why not spend it!


+ 1 we had a blast and so did our family
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 09:13     Subject: Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
I think big weddings are fun. I hate being in the spot light and have issues with my family. We eloped to avoid my anxiety and have an excuse to not invite family. But I love other people’s big party. If you have the money, why not spend it!
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 07:57     Subject: Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
Anonymous wrote:Told my kids: I am not paying for weddings and divorces


I tell my kids I’m paying for both!! I want big weddings and also for them to get out of bad marriages if necessary.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 07:55     Subject: Re:Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had a city hall wedding and it was the worst day of my life. I wanted the big event with everyone I loved to celebrate and the photos of my wedding day for myself and future family/kids. Had daydreamed about it all my life. Husband insisted it was a waste and it broke my heart. I fell down crying when we left the building.


Dramatic much?


NP. I'm not dramatic but I would cry through my vows too if that were my wedding. It was important for me to be surrounded by friends and family.


Not to be dramatic, but if a spouse completely discounts another spouses’s wish and can’t find a comfortable compromise on an important topic…why get married?
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 07:41     Subject: Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
Told my kids: I am not paying for weddings and divorces
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2021 07:38     Subject: Re:Why do people spend so much money on weddings?
We had a big wedding (parents), big rehearsal dinner(ILs) and even big brunch day after (DH and I). Outrageous amount of money for 1 weekend but we could all afford it.

Though I can still hear DH complain that when he called to order a limo he was quoted 1price but when he gave them the drop off address (church) the price almost doubled! When he asked why, they said because it is a wedding event. The difference in cost came with - Driver in the tux, champagne and snack in the car- for twice the price!