Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s face it - this came from South Korean immigrants who wanted a leg up on life. It’s called a Hagwon - and it’s here to stay...

Koreans are not the only culture to tutor kids. Yes, hagwons are rampant but it’s not like that idea is unique to Korea.. Tutoring/extracurriculars are commonplace in all major US metro centers (SF, NyC, DC, LA, BOS, etc). Parents found schools underperforming or wanted more competition so had to step in

Agreed - but I think what the original op was seeing was where South Korea is now. School becomes something to attend (and sleep through) while Hagwon goes until 11:00 at night to get an education of value. Read ‘The Smartest Kids in the World,’ and you will see where this is all headed - in all the competitive cities you just listed. Was just saying I think the Koreans are the pace-setters...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s face it - this came from South Korean immigrants who wanted a leg up on life. It’s called a Hagwon - and it’s here to stay...

Koreans are not the only culture to tutor kids. Yes, hagwons are rampant but it’s not like that idea is unique to Korea.. Tutoring/extracurriculars are commonplace in all major US metro centers (SF, NyC, DC, LA, BOS, etc). Parents found schools underperforming or wanted more competition so had to step in

Anonymous wrote:Let’s face it - this came from South Korean immigrants who wanted a leg up on life. It’s called a Hagwon - and it’s here to stay...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s face it - this came from South Korean immigrants who wanted a leg up on life. It’s called a Hagwon - and it’s here to stay...

No, it's not here to stay. Children of immigrants become Americanized. They'll realize that "afterschooling" is unnecessary and they won't do it to their kids.

Anonymous wrote:Let’s face it - this came from South Korean immigrants who wanted a leg up on life. It’s called a Hagwon - and it’s here to stay...

Again, how does a parent of an average kid decide if their child is learning enough when they perform at grade level? Is that not good enough? Your child is not the norm.

Anonymous wrote:Attending school after school is now an extra curricular activity. Apparently that’s what students need to do now. Go to school twice a day because the kids LOVE it! They just absolutely love to learn from 7am-7pm every day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is above average, no idea where he is because we have not bothered with testing and I don’t think the NNAT or CoGAT are great proxy tests for intelligence. He has not had a Teacher who has not commented on the fact that he is ahead of his classmates. He does the work his Teachers assign him, he does the work in the extra work folder. He doesn’t complain or disrupt the class. I don’t think that this is a particularly exciting development, he is entering fourth grade. Some kids pick up concepts faster then others, it isn’t a huge deal. He’ll end up in math classes with kids who took a bit longer to learn the concepts then he did and they will probably get similar grades.

That said, right now, entering fourth grade, the math he is presented in class is not challenging for him. I don’t want him to not be challenged and so he attended AoPS in third grade and is moving to The Russian School of Math this year. The math in those classes challenges him. He asks questions and gets some problems wrong. It is good for him to be in an environment where he learns to ask for help and he needs to work at understanding the concepts. Why? Because it is good to develop those skills when you are younger then to be faced for the first time with challenging material when you are in Middle or High School.

As for families who use tutors to help their kids in classes, great. Their parents want the kids to understand the material that is being presented and master it. They see that their kids could use some support. Excellent. I stayed after class or went to school early to get extra help from my Teachers. My parents hired a tutor for a few classes for me because I needed more support. Should I have dropped out of Algebra instead? We even choose the Algebra, Algebra II, Geometry track with no Calculus because I struggled with math. That doesn’t mean I wanted to fail or get C’s in those classes. I worked my butt off and earned A’s. But it was hard work and I needed some support. I fail to see why tutors providing that support was a bad thing.

Make choices that work for your family. I am going to do what I think needs to be done to support my child’s interests and needs. I am thankful that he is far better at math then I ever was. I am thrilled to support his enjoyment of the subject. I also support his love of reading by buying him books and letting him listen to audible books at bed time. Is that too much? Am I giving him a leg up in English class?

Getting some tutoring when struggling or doing extra math because the child loves to do math is not the issue. The issue is that almost all of the children in my child's class are doing Russian math or have tutors. Some do more than an hour of extra math a day and not because they like it but because the parents think it is a good idea. She is going to a very good public school in NYC that has a solid math program with differentiation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A child is learning enough when they are consistently stretched just a little bit outside their comfort zone: not too much to get discouraged, not too little to get bored.

School used to provide this for students, really! Even here in the US of A! Are schools really that bad now? Or are the students just so exceptional now?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No, if kids’ parents are able to pay for any additional pricey extra-curriculars, including additional sports coaching and music lessons on top of music lessons, it’s frowned upon, or should be. So, you desperately want your child to stand out amongst the rest, so you do whatever it takes to make that happen. As long as your child is the best, or one of best. Your kid is nothing special, as a matter of fact, if every child received equal hours of tutoring or coaching, your kid would be average at best. I think you’re too afraid to admit this to yourself.

Hmm... let me see if I understand this: are you saying no child should be given opportunities unless all children are given equal opportunities? Race to the bottom, right?

And moreover, are you saying that a parent who tries to give their child opportunities to better themselves is doing that not to in order to develop a kid's potential, but to stick it to other people?

You are doing it to stick it to other people, yes. Why is a full day of school for your average to above average child not enough? Why is an after school sports practice with the team not enough? Is 6 hours a day really not enough learning for your child? You are unintentionally, or intentionally, setting an unattainable standard for many of the other students whose parents cannot afford unnecessary tutoring. It’s unfair, can’t you see that? There are kids who actually need tutoring, they are barely scraping by, yet can’t afford a tutor. While your child, who does just fine on their own merits, needs a tutor to get further ahead, just because? It’s absurd.

Do you always parent based on how other children might feel? I feel sorry for your kids.

Some of us have to work harder than others. Some of us are born with a silver spoon in our mouths; some of us are born pretty or athletic; some of us are born naturally smart.

Life is unfair. No one owes you anything.

-signed a child of poor immigrants who don't speak English.

I am unwilling to pay for additional unnecessary help for my kids. I am not wealthy so I’m unable to pay for unnecessary frivolities. If my child is a mediocre student or athlete, he will simply have to work harder if he wants to improve. Additionally, it’s fine to be mediocre and it’s fine to fail. My kids may be at a disadvantage in that I view life differently than many other parents. I feel much can be learned from working one’s way up and through difficulty. The results may take longer, it won’t be instant gratification, but the lessons learned will be invaluable.

Anonymous wrote:My kid is above average, no idea where he is because we have not bothered with testing and I don’t think the NNAT or CoGAT are great proxy tests for intelligence. He has not had a Teacher who has not commented on the fact that he is ahead of his classmates. He does the work his Teachers assign him, he does the work in the extra work folder. He doesn’t complain or disrupt the class. I don’t think that this is a particularly exciting development, he is entering fourth grade. Some kids pick up concepts faster then others, it isn’t a huge deal. He’ll end up in math classes with kids who took a bit longer to learn the concepts then he did and they will probably get similar grades.

That said, right now, entering fourth grade, the math he is presented in class is not challenging for him. I don’t want him to not be challenged and so he attended AoPS in third grade and is moving to The Russian School of Math this year. The math in those classes challenges him. He asks questions and gets some problems wrong. It is good for him to be in an environment where he learns to ask for help and he needs to work at understanding the concepts. Why? Because it is good to develop those skills when you are younger then to be faced for the first time with challenging material when you are in Middle or High School.

As for families who use tutors to help their kids in classes, great. Their parents want the kids to understand the material that is being presented and master it. They see that their kids could use some support. Excellent. I stayed after class or went to school early to get extra help from my Teachers. My parents hired a tutor for a few classes for me because I needed more support. Should I have dropped out of Algebra instead? We even choose the Algebra, Algebra II, Geometry track with no Calculus because I struggled with math. That doesn’t mean I wanted to fail or get C’s in those classes. I worked my butt off and earned A’s. But it was hard work and I needed some support. I fail to see why tutors providing that support was a bad thing.

Make choices that work for your family. I am going to do what I think needs to be done to support my child’s interests and needs. I am thankful that he is far better at math then I ever was. I am thrilled to support his enjoyment of the subject. I also support his love of reading by buying him books and letting him listen to audible books at bed time. Is that too much? Am I giving him a leg up in English class?

Anonymous wrote:

Again, how does a parent of an average kid decide if their child is learning enough when they perform at grade level? Is that not good enough? Your child is not the norm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you are paying for a tutor for your presumably average child, that is why your child is performing at a higher level. Why is school time insufficient for an average student without a learning disability? If the schools/teachers are so incompetent why not find a better school district or private school rather than paying a tutor? I don’t understand this mentality? Are the schools so bad that you need to do extra? Is 6-8 hours a day in school not enough for a child? How many hours of learning per day is enough for an average student?

I find your logic confusing. If the child is performing at a higher level, then doesn't that mean that the tutoring is useful? Isn't the point to actually learn something??

Also you keep harping on this notion of the average child. Yes, dearie, even parents of average children want their children to do well. They're not trying to masquerade as geniuses, as you seem to be thinking, nobody is saying 'oh look, my child is so smart she was born knowing geometry!'... Such a childish mentality!

How do you, as a parent, know when to decide if your child is learning enough in school? I don’t understand the point of school? Is it just for social interaction?

A child is learning enough when they are consistently stretched just a little bit outside their comfort zone: not too much to get discouraged, not too little to get bored.