Anonymous wrote:6am-8pm with your children everyday, no childcare, how would you do?

This is my current situation and not sure if I am fit for this. We cannot afford childcare at the moment due to my husband's job loss.

There are many people who are able to manage this and find it rewarding. It sounds like you may not be one of them and that’s ok.

Until you can begin working again, I suggest you establish and start following a set routine of you don’t already have one. This makes the day less stressful for everyone. Schedule around naps (if applicable) and mealtimes and then block out specific times for outdoor play, art time etc. Try to get outside the house for 2-3hrs every morning before lunch and then out again for at least an hour before dinner. Also, and I know I’ll get backlash for this but it keeps me sane, I allow for 2hrs of screen time a day. One hour of learning games on the kindle for my 5yr old after lunch while the younger kids are napping and one hour of tv before dinner so I can cook and clean in peace. Try to incorporate things you like into your daily activities (ie teach your kids some yoga moves or paint with them). Try to keep the day full but manageable. Obviously, so much of how you schedule your day will depend on the ages of your kids and how many you have but you get the idea.

Secondly, find time for self care whenever you can. Listen to podcasts if that’s your thing, sit down and have a cup of tea if you have a moment when the kids are occupied.

I know this isn’t the ideal situation for everyone but I do hope you find a way to make it work until your circumstances change. It can be miserable before you get the hang of things. Best of luck, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would but only if I didn’t have anything else to do but play and teach my kids. No housework, laundry, errands, or cooking. I love taking my kids places, doing art, reading, teaching, running around. I’d happily be a SAHM if it didn’t come with housewife-type chores.

My sister has this setup and couldn’t be happier. I don’t think I’d be cut out for it though.

This set up sounds amazing. Who does she hire? Cleaning lady and chef? Easy to get away with housework and laundry but cooking and errands must be harder, wondering how she does it

NP here. I had a similar set up and we paid a lot of money for it. The thing is that if I list how I was able to outsource stuff, it is just going to cause a lot of DCUM resentment and beetchyness.

Ignore the haters, please tell me! I am trying to set up a similar arrangement and could use btdt tips

I don't think there's any activity out there that you don't occasionally find frustrating or tedious. I love my job but there aspects of it that I find frustrating or tedious. There are multiple articles about how "dream jobs" are a toxic idea because any job is going to have some stuff you hate or a coworker who microwaves fish or whatever.

Parenthood is somewhat similar, you can love your kids and spending all day with them, but there.are going to be aspects you don't love as much. Expecting to be happy all the time just sets you up for disappointment. There are no "dream jobs" and that's okay.

Anonymous wrote:Lots of women do this- plus handle night time wake-ups. There are many many sahm’s in this country that don’t also have a nanny. Get a job if you can’t handle it.

+1. That’s me. I do find it to be hard work but I really enjoy it. It’s also not that uncommon or extraordinary. It takes a lot of patience and it can be exhausting at times but you get into a groove.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would be happy. My kids are my favorite people in the world and they have been since they were born. They are now way grown so it's not really a current question for me, but when I did it I was happy.

I did have breaks, my H would come home and gladly care for our kids when I went out to do stuff in the evenings and on weekends. In fact, he was jealous of me being the SAHP. He wanted to do it but he made a lot more money than I was capable of making then. Once they were in school that evened out somewhat.

We did not trust low paid daycare workers to spend long hours with our kids when they were very young. It was important to us that we personally cared for our kids. I find it hard to comprehend why others don't feel that way. I totally understand that many people don't comprehend why I feel the way I do too.

You sound like a lovely person. And I was a SAHM.

Dp. Why the eye roll? I think the pp does sound like a good person! Who wouldn't want highly paid qualified daycare for your kids? We don't have that yet but it is a good goal. Nothing wrong with wanting to care for your kids if you can afford it.

Another DP, but c'mon. Because of the bolded. Sanctimonious, smug and gross. Oh, and privileged. Many moms who would love to be home with their kids don't have the luxury and have to work to have food and shelter.

Lots of women do this- plus handle night time wake-ups. There are many many sahm’s in this country that don’t also have a nanny. Get a job if you can’t handle it.

I have three under 5 and I’m a sahm so I do this everyday. I’m very happy.

If it doesn’t make you happy, that’s ok, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would be happy. My kids are my favorite people in the world and they have been since they were born. They are now way grown so it's not really a current question for me, but when I did it I was happy.

I did have breaks, my H would come home and gladly care for our kids when I went out to do stuff in the evenings and on weekends. In fact, he was jealous of me being the SAHP. He wanted to do it but he made a lot more money than I was capable of making then. Once they were in school that evened out somewhat.

We did not trust low paid daycare workers to spend long hours with our kids when they were very young. It was important to us that we personally cared for our kids. I find it hard to comprehend why others don't feel that way. I totally understand that many people don't comprehend why I feel the way I do too.

You sound like a lovely person. And I was a SAHM.

Actually she is a lovely person. And liking your children and wanting to spend time with them and care for them has everything to do with being a good mom and not necessarily being a SAHM. And I was a WOHM.

Thanks for saying that! The most important thing is that my adult kids think I'm a lovely person and much more. We get along great, are close but not tied at the umbilical cord, and they turned out just as great as I could hope for. And I stand by my view that I loved the time I spent with them when they were children as well as now. In fact, I think I am supremely lucky to have been their mom.

Np. You said you got breaks. Op is doing 14 hours straight. That's like night and day different. That's why people keep asking about her DH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would but only if I didn’t have anything else to do but play and teach my kids. No housework, laundry, errands, or cooking. I love taking my kids places, doing art, reading, teaching, running around. I’d happily be a SAHM if it didn’t come with housewife-type chores.

My sister has this setup and couldn’t be happier. I don’t think I’d be cut out for it though.

This set up sounds amazing. Who does she hire? Cleaning lady and chef? Easy to get away with housework and laundry but cooking and errands must be harder, wondering how she does it

NP here. I had a similar set up and we paid a lot of money for it. The thing is that if I list how I was able to outsource stuff, it is just going to cause a lot of DCUM resentment and beetchyness.

No, I would not be happy at all. Currently losing my mind at the tail end of 15 months together. Started ages 3 and 5, now 5 and 7. Trying to hold it together until camp starts in a couple of weeks. Love them but it's too. much. to work full-time and be with them all day every day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would be happy. My kids are my favorite people in the world and they have been since they were born. They are now way grown so it's not really a current question for me, but when I did it I was happy.

I did have breaks, my H would come home and gladly care for our kids when I went out to do stuff in the evenings and on weekends. In fact, he was jealous of me being the SAHP. He wanted to do it but he made a lot more money than I was capable of making then. Once they were in school that evened out somewhat.

We did not trust low paid daycare workers to spend long hours with our kids when they were very young. It was important to us that we personally cared for our kids. I find it hard to comprehend why others don't feel that way. I totally understand that many people don't comprehend why I feel the way I do too.

You sound like a lovely person. And I was a SAHM.

Actually she is a lovely person. And liking your children and wanting to spend time with them and care for them has everything to do with being a good mom and not necessarily being a SAHM. And I was a WOHM.

Thanks for saying that! The most important thing is that my adult kids think I'm a lovely person and much more. We get along great, are close but not tied at the umbilical cord, and they turned out just as great as I could hope for. And I stand by my view that I loved the time I spent with them when they were children as well as now. In fact, I think I am supremely lucky to have been their mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you took out the housewife part and I just had 14 hours a day with my toddler and baby? Absolutely! I would love it.

What is the housewife part?

She meant the housekeeping part. You know the stuff that adults (and often teens too) have to do to keep the household running smoothly?

There are several full time jobs in an adult life -

1) Taking care of and raising your kids
2) Running the household
3) Working outside the home for pay
4) Being a full time student.

Sometimes we are doing all of the above because of our circumstances. Of course then we also have to prioritize what we should devote more time to because all of the work needs to be done and we don't have endless time or energy. Sometimes we are doing work that we are not particularly good at or enjoy but we still need to do it. Can you rank the above tasks in what is most important? Being a student or working outside for pay are the two jobs you cannot outsource, but you can suck at it big time because you don't have more time to do it well. Running the house and raising kids can be outsourced to some extent. Raising kids is a crucial task that is a one shot thing in your life. You don't get the chance to redo it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would be happy. My kids are my favorite people in the world and they have been since they were born. They are now way grown so it's not really a current question for me, but when I did it I was happy.

I did have breaks, my H would come home and gladly care for our kids when I went out to do stuff in the evenings and on weekends. In fact, he was jealous of me being the SAHP. He wanted to do it but he made a lot more money than I was capable of making then. Once they were in school that evened out somewhat.

We did not trust low paid daycare workers to spend long hours with our kids when they were very young. It was important to us that we personally cared for our kids. I find it hard to comprehend why others don't feel that way. I totally understand that many people don't comprehend why I feel the way I do too.

You sound like a lovely person. And I was a SAHM.

Actually she is a lovely person. And liking your children and wanting to spend time with them and care for them has everything to do with being a good mom and not necessarily being a SAHM. And I was a WOHM.

Anonymous wrote:If you took out the housewife part and I just had 14 hours a day with my toddler and baby? Absolutely! I would love it.

What is the housewife part?