May sound trite, but......have you ever felt bonded to them? Attachment issues present in similar fashion, and attachment issues aren't only for adopted children.

Your kids sound like they need a good beating. I don’t spank my kids but if they spoke to me that way, I would correct that immediately.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Peeing themselves at these ages is not developmentally typical (read, normal). Something is going on. I suggest you talk to a pediatrician and a therapist (for yourself).

+1. Most of this reads like normal parenting struggles and discipline problems, but that's a big read flag for something else.

Yes.

Who lives in your house besides the 3 of you? I'd definitely seek out a child therapist. A 2nd grader peeing their pants at school is a HUGE red flag. You could start with the school counselor.

+1

Everything sounds like normal bratty, rebellious behavior except the peeing. One kid with pee issues would also be unusual at those ages, but two? Definitely make it a priority to have them see a pediatrician and talk with the school counselor. I hate to even suggest this but I think children who are experiencing abuse are known to have incontinence as a red flag (not saying you are abusing them, OP, but possibly some adult in their circle, like a cate giver or other family member).

It will get better once you can find medication which helps.

Honestly it doesn't always get better. I'm not sure why people keep insisting it does. It might get better with medication and therapy, but it might not. Sometimes therapy makes things worse.

Anonymous wrote:

jsmith123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. I went to my doctor, discussed all the issues. She gave me some xanax to get through short-term. I'll be seeing a psychiatrist week after next to discuss depression meds.

Thank you for the advice and support.

That's great news OP that you took this step. It's not easy.

+1000

Good for you. My first conversation with a doctor about my own mental health struggles was so hard. Good for you.

GL. It will get better once you can find medication which helps. It has been transformational for two of my close family members.

Thinking good thoughts for you OP. Parenting is never easy, and your situation sounds especially rough. Hang in there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Peeing themselves at these ages is not developmentally typical (read, normal). Something is going on. I suggest you talk to a pediatrician and a therapist (for yourself).

+1. Most of this reads like normal parenting struggles and discipline problems, but that's a big read flag for something else.

My daughter peed in her pants often until 8! She forgets to go, holds it until she’s about to burst, etc. she’ll outgrow it but it is frust, she’s very embarrassed about it, so I try not to shame her, but sometimes I lose it!

jsmith123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. I went to my doctor, discussed all the issues. She gave me some xanax to get through short-term. I'll be seeing a psychiatrist week after next to discuss depression meds.

Thank you for the advice and support.

That's great news OP that you took this step. It's not easy.

+1000

Good for you. My first conversation with a doctor about my own mental health struggles was so hard. Good for you.

GL. It will get better once you can find medication which helps. It has been transformational for two of my close family members.

Peeing everywhere and that much screaming is not normal.

Two theories:
1. You are depressed and it’s affecting the kids and now they are acting out. Seek help
2. You are living in toxic mold. Apparently Pee accidents with older kids are connected to this and mold can affect people psychologically.

Either is a huge concern

OP, I say this kindly, but you need to take a parenting class and get yourself a therapist.

This is so not normal. Either your kids are trying to send a message or they need counseling and so do you, OP.

OP, im so sorry. Parenting is hard. Can you afford to hire a nanny for a bit. This is bullshit and not normal. They need to get their asses whipped into shape. Kids need boundaries and can be great!

Are your children neuro typical? I’m guessing not.

But also I’m not sure what you expect of a K and 2nd grader but not cleaning up their messes is 150% developmentally appropriate.

You sound like you need a break. Can you have someone take them for a weekend so you can check yourself into a hotel?

Anonymous wrote:You are very fortunate that your children have their Father around to help you.
If you were a single parent, this situation would be much more dire.

However your husband + you have different parenting ideas.
It is imperative that he not undermine or critique your parenting, especially in front of the children.
You both need to get on the same page regarding your parenting techniques.

Well, if OP dies tomorrow, he better figure out his own kids. Why are women supposed to be lucky that their husbands are parenting their own freaking children?

Mom gave me one warning for even a resemblance of one of those behaviors:




It worked.


Your kids are trippin, OP. You trippin.

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. I went to my doctor, discussed all the issues. She gave me some xanax to get through short-term. I'll be seeing a psychiatrist week after next to discuss depression meds.

Thank you for the advice and support.

That's great news OP that you took this step. It's not easy.