Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 20:54     Subject: "You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
Anonymous wrote:How would you react to a Spouse that constantly uses the phrase above anytime you ask them to do simple courteous things like:

- turn off the lights when they leave a room
- close the doors during the middle of summer
- hang wet towels instead of throwing them on the bed
- not leave the kitchen sink just running while they fill the dishwasher
- refill the Brita when they empty it
- empty the trash when its full instead of smashing more in until the bag breaks
- leaves used dental floss in the shower
- doesn't replace TP when emptied


And a gazillion other examples of generally being an extremely selfish housemate.


OP, you seem extremely controlling , and I bet some of the behavior is sticking it to you for being controlling.

Let go
Lights
Doors
Brita
Trash- if they aren't relying on you to clean it up.

Change-
Dental floss
Towels
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 20:53     Subject: "You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Interesting respones. My wife is the one that does all these inconsiderate and filthy habits.


My response remains the same. If you aren't married, think about splitting up.

If you are married, let most of it go. Get some less and water savers for the faucets.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 20:41     Subject: Re:"You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
Anonymous wrote:My friend’s DH stands next to her when she’s doing the dishes and makes sure she uses the right sponge. I stayed with them and he walked after me to remind me to turn off the lights.

Fun times.


I’m dead. LOL. That’s insane.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 20:31     Subject: Re:"You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
These things would infuriate me to no end as well!

He needs to respect “his” house more!

You two need to find a way to live together or these seemingly little things will go on to be bigger things which can result in disastrous consequences for your marriage down the line.

Wishing you all the best OP. 😍
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 20:19     Subject: Re:"You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
Anonymous wrote:My DH is like this. I give up. I just take care of the kids and anything else required (cleaning, laundry, helping with homework, maintaining friendships and family relationships; taking trash cans to and from the curb) and spend as much time away from him as possible. I have no time up cook in addition to working a full time job so most meals are delivery and take-out. He has a full time job but due to work from home with Covid is able to skate by doing next to nothing daily. I think it’s a combination of depression and alcoholism. I keep it together most days but cry in my car when alone. It’s exhausting and embarrassing so I don’t confide in my friends. I have lost all respect for him.


What is your game plan? My husband is a selfish ass too and I am sick of it.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 20:17     Subject: "You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How would you react to a Spouse that constantly uses the phrase above anytime you ask them to do simple courteous things like:

- turn off the lights when they leave a room
- close the doors during the middle of summer
- hang wet towels instead of throwing them on the bed
- not leave the kitchen sink just running while they fill the dishwasher
- refill the Brita when they empty it
- empty the trash when its full instead of smashing more in until the bag breaks
- leaves used dental floss in the shower
- doesn't replace TP when emptied


And a gazillion other examples of generally being an extremely selfish housemate.


If you want to stay married you have to come to some sort of compromise/understanding. The dental floss, towels, and Brita would b the top of my list, but in the bigger scheme of things I would quite honestly consider divorce if you haven't been married very long and don't have kids. These are behavioral issues that are just ingrained and don't matter to him and you're not every going to make them matter to him. You will be living this way on some level for the entire time you are married to him. That's just the absolute truth.



This post is insane given the trivial nature of the infractions.


What's insane about this? People like this don't change easily. The slob spouse thinks none of this is a big deal and the other spouse is continually frustrated. It's fine to let some things go, but OP said this is a part of a bigger list of inconsiderate things his wife does. It's a quality of life issue.

Read this:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288

It's fundamental disrespect.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 18:27     Subject: "You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
Anonymous wrote:"Well, you make me feel like your mother, and I don't want to have sex with my son."

That said, I think some of the things in your list above are not worth nagging about, and perhaps you could benefit from an anti-anxiety medication.


Good response, but DP, all of those things on the list are things that normal adults should be able to do independently no matter their gender.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 18:08     Subject: Re:"You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
I don’t know whether you are a man or a woman, OP, but if you are a man, here’s why people tend to react differently: women do disproportionately more housework than men. So when a husband is frustrated with a wife, he criticizes her work and tries to manage it, not help. Her behaviors don’t contribute to his load, only to her housework.

When a woman is frustrated with her husband’s habits, it’s usually because it adds to her plate:she’ll clean the shower, change the trash bags, etc.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 18:01     Subject: "You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
"You make me feel like you aren't mature enough to even OWN a home if basic tasks are so overwhelming" would be my response.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 18:01     Subject: "You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Interesting respones. My wife is the one that does all these inconsiderate and filthy habits.


I responded already and who cares if people assumed you were a woman. Is that some big gotcha?

Answer is the same. Unclench a bit and insist on the things that really bother you.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 17:58     Subject: "You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How would you react to a Spouse that constantly uses the phrase above anytime you ask them to do simple courteous things like:

- turn off the lights when they leave a room
- close the doors during the middle of summer
- hang wet towels instead of throwing them on the bed
- not leave the kitchen sink just running while they fill the dishwasher
- refill the Brita when they empty it
- empty the trash when its full instead of smashing more in until the bag breaks
- leaves used dental floss in the shower
- doesn't replace TP when emptied


And a gazillion other examples of generally being an extremely selfish housemate.


Team dh. You don’t delegate then micromanage. You are 80% of the problem. -DW


Sorry team DW. Same applies.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 17:58     Subject: "You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
Anonymous wrote:How would you react to a Spouse that constantly uses the phrase above anytime you ask them to do simple courteous things like:

- turn off the lights when they leave a room
- close the doors during the middle of summer
- hang wet towels instead of throwing them on the bed
- not leave the kitchen sink just running while they fill the dishwasher
- refill the Brita when they empty it
- empty the trash when its full instead of smashing more in until the bag breaks
- leaves used dental floss in the shower
- doesn't replace TP when emptied


And a gazillion other examples of generally being an extremely selfish housemate.


Team dh. You don’t delegate then micromanage. You are 80% of the problem. -DW
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 17:54     Subject: "You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Interesting respones. My wife is the one that does all these inconsiderate and filthy habits.




Pick your battles and stop your controlling nit picking!
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 17:50     Subject: "You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Interesting respones. My wife is the one that does all these inconsiderate and filthy habits.


Saw it a million miles away (said so on page 4).

Was sitting back laughing at the responses.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2021 17:49     Subject: Re:"You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"
My friend’s DH stands next to her when she’s doing the dishes and makes sure she uses the right sponge. I stayed with them and he walked after me to remind me to turn off the lights.

Fun times.