My best friend is both intelligent and cultivated, but also kind and loyal. This is why she's my best friend. I've never met anyone quite like her, and I'm 41.

You're looking for affection and loyalty and sometimes that doesn't come with high levels of intelligence, OP. Sure, it would be perfect to have all those qualities in one friend! But that will only happen rarely, so you need to be very patient and be willing to befriend all kinds of potentially interesting people before finding a few that will become your close friends. It's like trying to find a husband or wife. In truth, friends and spouses are all in the love and loyalty category. They're all life partners.

Highly gifted people have it hard in that department. I am surrounded by relatives with high IQs: my husband, my first cousin, my nephew, and perhaps my own daughter. None of them have a lot of friends, some of them are diagnosed or suspected Asperger's and others are just severely allergic to slow-witted people, and to them, everyone is slow-witted! It's dreadful to go through life like this!

Hang in there, OP. Real friends are worth finding.

(I believe the formatting was messed up so I fixed it )

Thank you for this! The problem is I'm not a nerd at all. I have a high IQ yet I hate most "nerdy" topics and am way more interested in, say, pop culture and girly things like fashion. I also present as kind of a Barbie doll type with blonde hair and in a lot of pink. So my friend group seems to be divided between the handful of nerdy, judgmental types (usually dont hang out with them as much cause I dont like the judgement) and fellow Barbie doll types where the conversation is just off.

I know there are plenty of other girls out there like me but they just seem to be so impossible to find. I feel like I exist in some nebulous "nowhere" place, like the world between worlds. And both sides are unsatisfying and leave me feeling drained after hanging out.

I used to be able to overlook all of this but as I get older I am just more and more unsatisfied and finding it harder to overlook. I dont even know if there's a solution. Seems like it's probably too late to change all of it.

I love your candor and plainspoken-ness.

OP I love talking pop culture bc it’s a reflection of the times and points to trends and ideas that are often deeply rooted in economic and societal truths. There is a dissertation to be found in data coding Bravo!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stop looking at this thread. OP is truly fascinating. A true intellectual who can't find anyone deep enough to discuss celebrity gossip in meaningful banter.

As an earlier critic of OP in this thread, I have to admit I kind of like her now.

Honestly same. OP I hope you find your tribe.

Maybe OP should become friends with you.

She should. We’ll draw her in with pop culture but then sneakily teach her to love Russian literature and chess. The hard stuff.

Pulling the long game....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, where are you in life? Are you in a fulfilling career? Married? Kids?

Single, I do have a fulfilling career although not making quite as much money as I'd like but on the right trajectory. No kids but would like them. In an urban area and it's been even harder to meet people over the past year which I think has highlighted my lack of satisfaction even more than before

There's a surprise.

Anonymous wrote:^*friends from high school that went to Ivies

You mean friends WHO went to Ivies. Genius.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stop looking at this thread. OP is truly fascinating. A true intellectual who can't find anyone deep enough to discuss celebrity gossip in meaningful banter.

As an earlier critic of OP in this thread, I have to admit I kind of like her now.

Honestly same. OP I hope you find your tribe.

Maybe OP should become friends with you.

She should. We’ll draw her in with pop culture but then sneakily teach her to love Russian literature and chess. The hard stuff.

Pulling the long game....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stop looking at this thread. OP is truly fascinating. A true intellectual who can't find anyone deep enough to discuss celebrity gossip in meaningful banter.

As an earlier critic of OP in this thread, I have to admit I kind of like her now.

Honestly same. OP I hope you find your tribe.

Maybe OP should become friends with you.

She should. We’ll draw her in with pop culture but then sneakily teach her to love Russian literature and chess. The hard stuff.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stop looking at this thread. OP is truly fascinating. A true intellectual who can't find anyone deep enough to discuss celebrity gossip in meaningful banter.

As an earlier critic of OP in this thread, I have to admit I kind of like her now.

Honestly same. OP I hope you find your tribe.

Maybe OP should become friends with you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stop looking at this thread. OP is truly fascinating. A true intellectual who can't find anyone deep enough to discuss celebrity gossip in meaningful banter.

As an earlier critic of OP in this thread, I have to admit I kind of like her now.

Honestly same. OP I hope you find your tribe.

Aww thank you guys! This is really sweet.

OP is a basic chick who does well on standardized tests and doesn’t really like her old friends anymore. Not much else to see here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stop looking at this thread. OP is truly fascinating. A true intellectual who can't find anyone deep enough to discuss celebrity gossip in meaningful banter.

As an earlier critic of OP in this thread, I have to admit I kind of like her now.

Yes, I'm finding she is oddly likeable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stop looking at this thread. OP is truly fascinating. A true intellectual who can't find anyone deep enough to discuss celebrity gossip in meaningful banter.

As an earlier critic of OP in this thread, I have to admit I kind of like her now.

Honestly same. OP I hope you find your tribe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stop looking at this thread. OP is truly fascinating. A true intellectual who can't find anyone deep enough to discuss celebrity gossip in meaningful banter.

Oops... your internalized misogyny is showing...

It's not misgoynistic - she said that's what she's looking for if you read the thread.

Anonymous wrote:I can't stop looking at this thread. OP is truly fascinating. A true intellectual who can't find anyone deep enough to discuss celebrity gossip in meaningful banter.

As an earlier critic of OP in this thread, I have to admit I kind of like her now.