Anonymous wrote:Get her out of your house. “Sis, I’m really sorry, but this just isn’t working for us. We booked you this hotel, it comes highly recommended and we will all be able to get some rest.”

Anonymous wrote:^^Ignore that poster, OP. Your stance re hiking in that heat is extremely reasonable. I do share other’s confusion about why you actually want to maintain a relationship with your sister, though. Was she a nice person to be around in the past? Hard to imagine she was functional before given the nightmare you are describing here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I guess I am a bit of a doormat. But trying to talk to my sister even about small things, even putting down small boundaries results in extreme tension. It’s easier to just do whatever she wants. I can either have her in my life by going along or she will stop talking to me again for several years.

The latest thing drama this morning was she wanted to go for a hike to a waterfall. We live in Arizona. It’s 98 degrees here today. I told her that I’m totally game, but it’s the sort of thing we need to plan the night before and we need to be in the car driving before 8 AM (by 10 it’s already in the 90s). She got super defensive and said that because she has 3 kids and I only have 2 that I have no idea how hard that is for them to get out that early.

This isn’t a matter of my preferences around timing-it’s about safety. We have little kids. Her family is unable to get out the door before 11 am but by then it’s too late to do anything out in the desert.

I told her-you can take my car, and use my membership to get into the park, and there’s no bad feelings, but I just cannot go unless we are on the road by 8. And she stormed out and hasn’t spoken to me the rest of the day. She left with her kids and went somewhere. No complaints here!!

Uh, you don't read as a doormat here. You read as an instigator. Interesting. The more you post the more it sounds like your sister isn't really the problem.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I guess I am a bit of a doormat. But trying to talk to my sister even about small things, even putting down small boundaries results in extreme tension. It’s easier to just do whatever she wants. I can either have her in my life by going along or she will stop talking to me again for several years.

The latest thing drama this morning was she wanted to go for a hike to a waterfall. We live in Arizona. It’s 98 degrees here today. I told her that I’m totally game, but it’s the sort of thing we need to plan the night before and we need to be in the car driving before 8 AM (by 10 it’s already in the 90s). She got super defensive and said that because she has 3 kids and I only have 2 that I have no idea how hard that is for them to get out that early.

This isn’t a matter of my preferences around timing-it’s about safety. We have little kids. Her family is unable to get out the door before 11 am but by then it’s too late to do anything out in the desert.

I told her-you can take my car, and use my membership to get into the park, and there’s no bad feelings, but I just cannot go unless we are on the road by 8. And she stormed out and hasn’t spoken to me the rest of the day. She left with her kids and went somewhere. No complaints here!!

Anonymous wrote:This cannot be real? Is her 6 year old in school?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just start leaving the house and letting her stay behind. Order pizza for your kids so you don’t have to share the kitchen and then never, ever have a visit this long again.

I would do the same. Remove yourself from the situation by making up errands and last minute outdoor playdates. Your sister can live her life as she pleases but taking over your kitchen and insisting that your family abide her rules is too much.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I guess I am a bit of a doormat. But trying to talk to my sister even about small things, even putting down small boundaries results in extreme tension. It’s easier to just do whatever she wants. I can either have her in my life by going along or she will stop talking to me again for several years.

The latest thing drama this morning was she wanted to go for a hike to a waterfall. We live in Arizona. It’s 98 degrees here today. I told her that I’m totally game, but it’s the sort of thing we need to plan the night before and we need to be in the car driving before 8 AM (by 10 it’s already in the 90s). She got super defensive and said that because she has 3 kids and I only have 2 that I have no idea how hard that is for them to get out that early.

This isn’t a matter of my preferences around timing-it’s about safety. We have little kids. Her family is unable to get out the door before 11 am but by then it’s too late to do anything out in the desert.

I told her-you can take my car, and use my membership to get into the park, and there’s no bad feelings, but I just cannot go unless we are on the road by 8. And she stormed out and hasn’t spoken to me the rest of the day. She left with her kids and went somewhere. No complaints here!!