Anonymous
Post 05/05/2021 07:51     Subject: Assault allegation
Memories change a lot over time. I remember being at my 20th HS reunion a few years ago and being kind and engaged with a woman named Sarah. We were rehashing stupid stories and laughing about events. I hadn't seen her since HS.

Later, another woman I am very close with (speak monthly) said " Emily, I can't believe you were speaking with Sarah. She was an absolute jerk back then."

Then came the supporting anecdotes. I'd nearly forgot all of them.

Point being- no way would I trust someone's after-the-fact (by several years) account of a situation if that accounting could result in imprisonment. And that's when dealing with friends. If I'm on a jury and it's a stranger and I don't know either party, even less so.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2021 07:41     Subject: Assault allegation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Does it make a difference if you think the allegation is true or not?


Why would it, wouldn’t you still need a lawyer and to identify whatever evidence there is?


DP. I can't speak from firsthand experience, but a family member's son was accused of rape and sexual battery when he was a very young adult. I'm pretty sure everyone in our family thought the allegation was true, and there was enough forensic evidence to back it up. Nonetheless, my family member did not want to abandon his kid to the system or let a public defender take the case. The best lawyers were hired and they tried everything to discredit the girl. In the end, the young man pled guilty to a lesser charge at the 11th hour with the agreement of the victim and her family and attorney. She preferred not to go through the trauma of a trial and he still got three years in jail. His attorney said it was likely he'd get 20 years if it went before a jury.

This was 15 years ago and the guy's family is still paying off legal fees and he's continued to have trouble with the law and got a subsequent domestic violence charge. I suspect if my family member could go back and do it over again, he would've not poured every last cent they had into defending someone who they knew was most likely guilty. I can't say I blame them. If I had a good reason to doubt the allegation, I would be a lot more likely to invest my resources into disproving it.


Forensic evidence is the difference maker here. It's unlikely to be present if the young woman is coming forward years after the fact. This thread explains why 80% of victims do not report. Unfortunately for this female high school student, a lot of them are encouraged/pressured to come forward and report without being informed of the consequences, both legal and social, of reporting- exposure to harassment, victim blaming, being victimized again by the perpetrator or associates, etc.

Young men and their families have undue anxiety about the issue of reporting and their anxiety often leads them to commit further crimes. OP, I would be concerned about this in your shoes. If your son is acting out with anxiety, I would move to another area. Make it clear that he is not permitted to contact this girl or any of her associates in any way. If he does anyway, you have a much bigger problem than a rape allegation. He is not prepared to date or have romantic relationships now until he can learn proper relationship skills, if he is able.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2021 22:21     Subject: Assault allegation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Does it make a difference if you think the allegation is true or not?


Why would it, wouldn’t you still need a lawyer and to identify whatever evidence there is?


DP. I can't speak from firsthand experience, but a family member's son was accused of rape and sexual battery when he was a very young adult. I'm pretty sure everyone in our family thought the allegation was true, and there was enough forensic evidence to back it up. Nonetheless, my family member did not want to abandon his kid to the system or let a public defender take the case. The best lawyers were hired and they tried everything to discredit the girl. In the end, the young man pled guilty to a lesser charge at the 11th hour with the agreement of the victim and her family and attorney. She preferred not to go through the trauma of a trial and he still got three years in jail. His attorney said it was likely he'd get 20 years if it went before a jury.

This was 15 years ago and the guy's family is still paying off legal fees and he's continued to have trouble with the law and got a subsequent domestic violence charge. I suspect if my family member could go back and do it over again, he would've not poured every last cent they had into defending someone who they knew was most likely guilty. I can't say I blame them. If I had a good reason to doubt the allegation, I would be a lot more likely to invest my resources into disproving it.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2021 21:23     Subject: Assault allegation
Anonymous wrote:his is ridiculous. Reporting sexual assault is absolute torture. As someone who receive consequences on campus for underage drinking as a sophomore, I can guarantee you that it wasn’t 1% as difficult as reporting rape. And I can guarantee you that there’s not a single young woman in college or in America today who thinks that reporting rape is easier than the slap on the wrist a person would get for underage drinking. It’s absolutely preposterous.


Well I’d like to introduce you to my freshman roommate...
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2021 21:18     Subject: Assault allegation
his is ridiculous. Reporting sexual assault is absolute torture. As someone who receive consequences on campus for underage drinking as a sophomore, I can guarantee you that it wasn’t 1% as difficult as reporting rape. And I can guarantee you that there’s not a single young woman in college or in America today who thinks that reporting rape is easier than the slap on the wrist a person would get for underage drinking. It’s absolutely preposterous.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2021 21:17     Subject: Assault allegation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My freshman college roommate falsely accused a guy when she got blackout drunk and ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. I was called to pick her up (it was the first weekend of school) and I was super concerned and asked her a ton of questions to make sure she was ok. she was absolutely positive that nothing had happened to her, she denied a rape kit, she had no signs of any assault on her, but when the police came to talk to her about being underage she suddenly completely changed her story and accused this guy we’d both met a couple of days earlier of raping her. Then there was an investigation and I had to be subpoenaed and it was a huge mess. In the rest of the time that first semester she went completely off the deep end with drinking and drugs, despite saying she wasn’t ever going to drink again after that first weekend. She stole things from me, had guys over and was so horrible that I almost didn’t go back to school after winter break and I did move to a different room in January.
I believe women, but I also know that young, scared women can say something to get themselves “out of trouble”.


So do young men . . . . like to get out of trouble or consequences.

Or are you saying that they do not?


Furthermore, how does making up a sexual assault get you out of trouble for drinkig underage? Your still were drunk underage.


This is ridiculous. Reporting sexual assault is absolute torture. As someone who receive consequences on campus for underage drinking as a sophomore, I can guarantee you that it wasn’t 1% as difficult as reporting rape. And I can guarantee you that there’s not a single young woman in college or in America today who thinks that reporting rape is easier than the slap on the wrist a person would get for underage drinking. It’s absolutely preposterous.

Because of "don't blame the victim" they usually dont' prosecute the crime like underage drinking to encourage victims to come forward.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2021 16:36     Subject: Re:Assault allegation
So, OP, since you are being cryptic here, you are saying that your DC is still a minor and is facing a legal prosecution of sexual assault?

Hire a lawyer, tell your son to shut up, stay away from other teens, and teach him about consent. Affirmative consent. If he learns to practice affirmative consent, then he will never need to worry about facing a legal prosecution of sexual assault ever again in the future. I would be focused on the future if I were you, but if he is a teen and already facing a legal prosecution, he is unlikely to take what you or anyone else says on the subject seriously. It's always worth a try.

If the state's attorney is not going to prosecute, same thing. This will not go anywhere so you are probably anxious over nothing.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2021 16:12     Subject: Re:Assault allegation
Anonymous wrote:[

There are not statutes of limitations on felonies in Maryland.


Yes there is. Care to cite COMAR where it states there is not?


Sure. I'm happy to google that for you:

Citation for the crime: Md. Code, Crim. Law § 3-303.
Citation for the statute of limitations: Massey v. State, 320 Md. 605, 610, 579 A.2d 265, 267 (Md. 1990); State v. Renfro, 223 Md. App. 779 (2015), cert. denied, 445 Md. 6, 122 A.3d 976 (2015) (“Maryland has no statute of limitations on felonies.”).

https://apps.rainn.org/policy/policy-crime-definitions.cfm?state=Maryland&group=7&_ga=2.6411186.1259566328.1620154231-1429844832.1620154231
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2021 16:01     Subject: Assault allegation
Anonymous wrote:I would look into volunteer opportunities to help abused women and children. Regardless of his guilt or innocence, it will give him an experience that may help him empathize with his accuser and other women who have suffered physical or sexual assault.
If he is not guilty, then there is some issue going on in her life that is driving her make false accusations.


No earthly way. Women and children that were already subject to assault do not deserve to be subject to the possibility of further assault and exploitation by a possible rapist. They are even more vulnerable than women and children in the general population.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2021 15:37     Subject: Assault allegation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My freshman college roommate falsely accused a guy when she got blackout drunk and ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. I was called to pick her up (it was the first weekend of school) and I was super concerned and asked her a ton of questions to make sure she was ok. she was absolutely positive that nothing had happened to her, she denied a rape kit, she had no signs of any assault on her, but when the police came to talk to her about being underage she suddenly completely changed her story and accused this guy we’d both met a couple of days earlier of raping her. Then there was an investigation and I had to be subpoenaed and it was a huge mess. In the rest of the time that first semester she went completely off the deep end with drinking and drugs, despite saying she wasn’t ever going to drink again after that first weekend. She stole things from me, had guys over and was so horrible that I almost didn’t go back to school after winter break and I did move to a different room in January.
I believe women, but I also know that young, scared women can say something to get themselves “out of trouble”.


So do young men . . . . like to get out of trouble or consequences.

Or are you saying that they do not?


Furthermore, how does making up a sexual assault get you out of trouble for drinkig underage? Your still were drunk underage.


Because of "don't blame the victim" they usually dont' prosecute the crime like underage drinking to encourage victims to come forward.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2021 15:34     Subject: Assault allegation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My freshman college roommate falsely accused a guy when she got blackout drunk and ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. I was called to pick her up (it was the first weekend of school) and I was super concerned and asked her a ton of questions to make sure she was ok. she was absolutely positive that nothing had happened to her, she denied a rape kit, she had no signs of any assault on her, but when the police came to talk to her about being underage she suddenly completely changed her story and accused this guy we’d both met a couple of days earlier of raping her. Then there was an investigation and I had to be subpoenaed and it was a huge mess. In the rest of the time that first semester she went completely off the deep end with drinking and drugs, despite saying she wasn’t ever going to drink again after that first weekend. She stole things from me, had guys over and was so horrible that I almost didn’t go back to school after winter break and I did move to a different room in January.
I believe women, but I also know that young, scared women can say something to get themselves “out of trouble”.


So do young men . . . . like to get out of trouble or consequences.

Or are you saying that they do not?


Furthermore, how does making up a sexual assault get you out of trouble for drinkig underage? Your still were drunk underage.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2021 15:26     Subject: Re:Assault allegation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, let your adult son handle this himself no matter if the allegation is true or not. You have no way of knowing that anyway. He’s an adult and is capable of managing this on his own for the simple reason that he is grown up.

I know it’s hard to let go, but you did the best you could.


My son is not, in fact, an adult. Not even close. Also, you're a jerk.


NP and the problem with the scenario here is that for someone your son's age (let's say 16 max since you say he's not even close to being an adult) and an allegation from years ago as you say (let's say 3 years ago so he would be max 13) is that he probably doesn't even remember the person to whom it relates. Three years in teen time is a long time. He's even less likely to remember the specific interaction with that person on that date or even if he is the person to whom the interaction relates. Maybe this girl was assaulted but your son left the party before it happened or she honestly thinks it was him but it was actually someone else. It's much easier to ascertain the truth in these types of cases if the allegation is timely which is one reason why we have statutes of limitations for crimes.


There are not statutes of limitations on felonies in Maryland.


Yes there is. Care to cite COMAR where it states there is not?
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2021 15:20     Subject: Re:Assault allegation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, let your adult son handle this himself no matter if the allegation is true or not. You have no way of knowing that anyway. He’s an adult and is capable of managing this on his own for the simple reason that he is grown up.

I know it’s hard to let go, but you did the best you could.


My son is not, in fact, an adult. Not even close. Also, you're a jerk.


NP and the problem with the scenario here is that for someone your son's age (let's say 16 max since you say he's not even close to being an adult) and an allegation from years ago as you say (let's say 3 years ago so he would be max 13) is that he probably doesn't even remember the person to whom it relates. Three years in teen time is a long time. He's even less likely to remember the specific interaction with that person on that date or even if he is the person to whom the interaction relates. Maybe this girl was assaulted but your son left the party before it happened or she honestly thinks it was him but it was actually someone else. It's much easier to ascertain the truth in these types of cases if the allegation is timely which is one reason why we have statutes of limitations for crimes.


There are not statutes of limitations on felonies in Maryland.


Yes there is for sex asssults. Thank the Catholic Church lobby for that.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2021 14:55     Subject: Re:Assault allegation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, let your adult son handle this himself no matter if the allegation is true or not. You have no way of knowing that anyway. He’s an adult and is capable of managing this on his own for the simple reason that he is grown up.

I know it’s hard to let go, but you did the best you could.


My son is not, in fact, an adult. Not even close. Also, you're a jerk.


NP and the problem with the scenario here is that for someone your son's age (let's say 16 max since you say he's not even close to being an adult) and an allegation from years ago as you say (let's say 3 years ago so he would be max 13) is that he probably doesn't even remember the person to whom it relates. Three years in teen time is a long time. He's even less likely to remember the specific interaction with that person on that date or even if he is the person to whom the interaction relates. Maybe this girl was assaulted but your son left the party before it happened or she honestly thinks it was him but it was actually someone else. It's much easier to ascertain the truth in these types of cases if the allegation is timely which is one reason why we have statutes of limitations for crimes.


There are not statutes of limitations on felonies in Maryland.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2021 14:35     Subject: Re:Assault allegation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, let your adult son handle this himself no matter if the allegation is true or not. You have no way of knowing that anyway. He’s an adult and is capable of managing this on his own for the simple reason that he is grown up.

I know it’s hard to let go, but you did the best you could.


My son is not, in fact, an adult. Not even close. Also, you're a jerk.


NP and the problem with the scenario here is that for someone your son's age (let's say 16 max since you say he's not even close to being an adult) and an allegation from years ago as you say (let's say 3 years ago so he would be max 13) is that he probably doesn't even remember the person to whom it relates. Three years in teen time is a long time. He's even less likely to remember the specific interaction with that person on that date or even if he is the person to whom the interaction relates. Maybe this girl was assaulted but your son left the party before it happened or she honestly thinks it was him but it was actually someone else. It's much easier to ascertain the truth in these types of cases if the allegation is timely which is one reason why we have statutes of limitations for crimes.