Anonymous wrote:As much as any sliding doors moment does.

Anonymous wrote:For many, a college degree provides a floor for employment, standard of living, and security far above the average person without a degree. However, that floor can also make you lazy and risk adverse. In turn, that floor can encourage you to assume responsibilities, like a mortgage and family, that will reinforce risk adversity. Before you know it, many are “trapped” on a comfortable tread mill. Of course, this doesn’t have to be one’s fate, but it is for many. That said, it’s better than wondering where to find your next meal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were not raised rich but sort of fell by circumstance into a very UMC group and it's opened my eyes that it's not really about money, it's about the whole picture. I have ZERO concern about where my kid goes to college. I see they can basically go to a state school or unknown private and be just fine because of everything else they are growing up with.

- connections, just in our peer circle we have doctors/surgeons, politicians, a few accomplished actors/musicians, lots of C-level or VP level business, tech entrepreneurs, law partners, professors, authors, engineers at Google/FB, designers.. sky is the limit in terms of getting your foot in the door.. I did NOT have this as a kid at all and see how much easier it makes things especially at the college level or right after.
- Kids golf, play tennis, sail + ski on regular basis through lessons, clinics and camps in addition to other sports
- Kids attend expensive, elite sleepover camps
- family involvement in multiple philanthropies every year on the chair or board level
- kids grow up doing organized charity/debutante roles learning social traditions and manners
- international travel frequently
- 2nd house out west in mountain town
- attend top 20 nationally ranked public HS

Where do you think this is going to take your kid? Are your friends going to provide an in for them in their industry?

Anonymous wrote:We were not raised rich but sort of fell by circumstance into a very UMC group and it's opened my eyes that it's not really about money, it's about the whole picture. I have ZERO concern about where my kid goes to college. I see they can basically go to a state school or unknown private and be just fine because of everything else they are growing up with.

- connections, just in our peer circle we have doctors/surgeons, politicians, a few accomplished actors/musicians, lots of C-level or VP level business, tech entrepreneurs, law partners, professors, authors, engineers at Google/FB, designers.. sky is the limit in terms of getting your foot in the door.. I did NOT have this as a kid at all and see how much easier it makes things especially at the college level or right after.
- Kids golf, play tennis, sail + ski on regular basis through lessons, clinics and camps in addition to other sports
- Kids attend expensive, elite sleepover camps
- family involvement in multiple philanthropies every year on the chair or board level
- kids grow up doing organized charity/debutante roles learning social traditions and manners
- international travel frequently
- 2nd house out west in mountain town
- attend top 20 nationally ranked public HS

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were not raised rich but sort of fell by circumstance into a very UMC group and it's opened my eyes that it's not really about money, it's about the whole picture. I have ZERO concern about where my kid goes to college. I see they can basically go to a state school or unknown private and be just fine because of everything else they are growing up with.

- connections, just in our peer circle we have doctors/surgeons, politicians, a few accomplished actors/musicians, lots of C-level or VP level business, tech entrepreneurs, law partners, professors, authors, engineers at Google/FB, designers.. sky is the limit in terms of getting your foot in the door.. I did NOT have this as a kid at all and see how much easier it makes things especially at the college level or right after.
- Kids golf, play tennis, sail + ski on regular basis through lessons, clinics and camps in addition to other sports
- Kids attend expensive, elite sleepover camps
- family involvement in multiple philanthropies every year on the chair or board level
- kids grow up doing organized charity/debutante roles learning social traditions and manners
- international travel frequently
- 2nd house out west in mountain town
- attend top 20 nationally ranked public HS

Wow, we have none of this so my hard working kids are F’ed I guess?

Anonymous wrote:We were not raised rich but sort of fell by circumstance into a very UMC group and it's opened my eyes that it's not really about money, it's about the whole picture. I have ZERO concern about where my kid goes to college. I see they can basically go to a state school or unknown private and be just fine because of everything else they are growing up with.

- connections, just in our peer circle we have doctors/surgeons, politicians, a few accomplished actors/musicians, lots of C-level or VP level business, tech entrepreneurs, law partners, professors, authors, engineers at Google/FB, designers.. sky is the limit in terms of getting your foot in the door.. I did NOT have this as a kid at all and see how much easier it makes things especially at the college level or right after.
- Kids golf, play tennis, sail + ski on regular basis through lessons, clinics and camps in addition to other sports
- Kids attend expensive, elite sleepover camps
- family involvement in multiple philanthropies every year on the chair or board level
- kids grow up doing organized charity/debutante roles learning social traditions and manners
- international travel frequently
- 2nd house out west in mountain town
- attend top 20 nationally ranked public HS

Anonymous wrote:Interesting question. My first thought is that among my colleagues at work, who all do exactly the same job, one of us went to a large Midwest state school, one went to a small Jesuit Midwest school, one of us went to a “public Ivy”, and one went to an Ivy League school. So, range of schools, our families have a range of backgrounds, we all studied different things (all liberal arts background) and we all ended up in the same place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Answer honestly.

I'm thinking of some of the most fulfilled people I know. One is a restaurateur who didn't go to college. One is a lawyer who went to two state schools and is doing what he loves. Another is an author who went to an "average" school and is wildly successful.

I know this is a stressful time, but the long view helps. What do you think?

I went to a school (Wash. U.) that’s seen as prestigious by some and just OK by some. My cousins all had comfortable middle-income or upper-income parents, and all went to schools ranging from Harvard to University of California schools.

I have friends who’ve gone to all sorts of schools.

I think “higher-ranked schools” tend to be more comfortable and more fun. But I don’t think going to a higher-ranked school makes a big difference in terms of financial outcomes.

I think what distinguishes high-earning kids from lower-earning kids are general intelligence; social graces; parental connections; the ability to play golf and tennis; and the ability to make intelligent comments about baseball, football and basketball games. Excellence at sailing may be able to compensate for general sports illiteracy.

Parents who are obsessed about having high-earning kids should obsess less about SAT prep and more about joining a golf club or signing their kid up for sailing lessons.

All of the non academic life skills are easily mastered and refined at elite colleges. I hope that those are not the accomplishments that make one successful because it will cause many brilliant people to be left behind. It is completely obviously what type of family college students or young professional come from unless they have absorbed unspoken rules. Not knowing what to wear, say, drink or eat is often an unspoken reason for excluding smart people who otherwise would make substantial contributions. They show up green and never get invited back to anything important. People would rather deal with someone who is less bright but polished, in friend groups and in business. Hopefully this will change.

Anonymous wrote:College itself does.

Which college you attend, not as much.