Anonymous
04/09/2021 07:17
Subject: Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What would you do differently? What advice would you give to yourself one or two years earlier? Would you have your DC take different courses? Would you and DC apply to different schools? What did you wish you knew as a parent of a sophomore/junior? Thanks in advance!
High school is a good time for parents to practice the gentle art of shutting up and letting your kid decide, even if it means subjecting your friends to the rants you have withheld (try to limit that, too, and provide baked goods or pedicure gift certificates to compensate).
I would have asked sooner if my generally independent kid wanted help, and what kind, and I would have listened.
(I have a kid with very good stats and very limited ECs. I think that kept him out of one place where he probably would have done very well academically, but you know what? Someone who helped make their school's clubs or sports happen got that spot, and I think that's totally fair.)
Thanks so much for your advice. We have a very smart, very introverted child. Not enough ECs. Wonder if you mind sharing the type of school your DC was rejected, or a comparable one. Thanks
Big state (not our state) school known for computer science/engineering (is that precise enough to be helpful?). He did get into some selective schools, but not ones with an admit rate below 20%.
Also, don't think an EC has to be a club or sport. If your kid really likes something that isn't school, that's still an activity. Helping with hackathons? Chess tournaments? Maintaining a nature trail? There are things an introvert can do that don't require mingling but do show interests outside of schoolwork, and that matters. My kid did none of those.
But also, getting into a school with a 30% admit rate is still a path towards a happy life. Maybe getting into someplace very good, not jaw-droppingly OH WOW, is a tradeoff your kid is willing to make in exchange for being left alone.
Anonymous
04/09/2021 06:06
Subject: Re:Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
^^ The PP didn’t say your kid couldn’t or shouldn’t still make cookies for the bake sale. The point, which is a good one, is that space in the common app to list activities over four years is limited. The kid needs to squeeze in sports, academic/professional type activities, plus charitable activities. I agree with PP that is is easier to focus on and fit in the app one set of charitable work (e.g., Boy Scouts) that can be described in depth rather than try to figure out how to describe 30 different service activities. Again, doesn’t mean you kid can’t or shouldn’t serve. Blame the lack of space to describe all that on the common app.
Anonymous
04/09/2021 01:11
Subject: Re:Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
Anonymous wrote:My suggestions of what I would do if I could start over (and some things DCs and I did that I think were successful).
Start saving for college very early (by age 5).
Prep for the SAT or ACT the summer after sophomore year and plan to take the 1st SAT or Act in the fall of the junior year. The prep for the SAT/ACT will help the PSAT score, and you will have plenty of time to retake and improve your score.
Focus on taking the most challenging courses offered beginning in 9th grade. Doing well is the top priority.
Find a passion and excel or consistently engage in the passion at school and over the summer.
Focus on one significant charitable project that will fit into the common app.
Visit enough schools so that your DC is able to pick one to apply to ED.
Carefully review course offerings and write about the program DC will enter and the courses they will take in the "Why this college" question on the common app.
Write the common app essay and as many other essays as possible the summer before senior year.
Do not use Naviance- the matches do not make sense and because you can't figure out the entire picture from 2 data points, its anxiety producing.
Apply ED and EA. Guide the choices as best you can, making sure DC picks a place with many good courses of study so DC will not have to transfer if DC changes their mind about what they want to do.
Be prepared for disappointment. Be supportive of other families who are going through this process, sharing things you learn along the way.
The college admissions process is the worst thing we do to our children. Try not to be too hard on them while they are going through it.
Veteran of 2 college admission processes and glad to be done
While I agree with your suggestions for parents doing all they can as early as possible to ease access to college (most notably start saving early), I find your suggestions for student focus on apparent altruism for the sake of building appeal of profile appalling.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 23:25
Subject: Re:Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
Anonymous wrote:Have your child apply to a variety of college types and sizes: small, large, city suburban etc. They may think they know what they want and like in September but that can change in the spring when decision time comes around.
This is what DC did but DC ended up getting into all of these schools. Now DC is having a hard time deciding amongst these choices that have vastly different characteristics. DC is not quite able to do the apples to apples comparison which makes the decision very challenging. Although I still support this idea of casting a wide net, just make sure you understand the implications.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 22:56
Subject: Re:Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
Remember that your child's biggest competition is going to be the other students applying from his/her high school.
Naviance isn't totally reliable, but if your child's GPA and test score are within a sea of green, that's a good sign.
I saw a recommendation on here to check out College Vine for a more accurate chance of acceptance and found it helpful - and correct for my DC!
ED doesn't mean you can't apply for FA. DC applied ED to a top 20 SLAC and got almost $25k in FA.
+1 to everyone recommending that kids write Common App essay in the summer. Game changer having that done before school started.
I don't have proof that it helped, but I think having a volunteer commitment that is continuous throughout middle school and high school, or even just high school, is helpful. Shows dedication in the EC section, and it provided something to write about for additional essays. I will add DC loved the work and didn't do it just for the college app.
Naviance isn't totally reliable, but if your child's GPA and test score are within a sea of green, that's a good sign.
I saw a recommendation on here to check out College Vine for a more accurate chance of acceptance and found it helpful - and correct for my DC!
ED doesn't mean you can't apply for FA. DC applied ED to a top 20 SLAC and got almost $25k in FA.
+1 to everyone recommending that kids write Common App essay in the summer. Game changer having that done before school started.
I don't have proof that it helped, but I think having a volunteer commitment that is continuous throughout middle school and high school, or even just high school, is helpful. Shows dedication in the EC section, and it provided something to write about for additional essays. I will add DC loved the work and didn't do it just for the college app.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 20:37
Subject: Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What would you do differently? What advice would you give to yourself one or two years earlier? Would you have your DC take different courses? Would you and DC apply to different schools? What did you wish you knew as a parent of a sophomore/junior? Thanks in advance!
High school is a good time for parents to practice the gentle art of shutting up and letting your kid decide, even if it means subjecting your friends to the rants you have withheld (try to limit that, too, and provide baked goods or pedicure gift certificates to compensate).
I would have asked sooner if my generally independent kid wanted help, and what kind, and I would have listened.
(I have a kid with very good stats and very limited ECs. I think that kept him out of one place where he probably would have done very well academically, but you know what? Someone who helped make their school's clubs or sports happen got that spot, and I think that's totally fair.)
Thanks so much for your advice. We have a very smart, very introverted child. Not enough ECs. Wonder if you mind sharing the type of school your DC was rejected, or a comparable one. Thanks
Anonymous
04/08/2021 20:19
Subject: Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
meet and get toknorw the admissions counselor.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 20:11
Subject: Re:Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Start the Common App in 9th grade...keep using it to add all the EC stats. You get into the habit of logging your accomplishment as well as have a fair sense where your application is weak.
Chart your courses for the entire HS journey beginning of 9th grade
Advanced Math actually starts from ES years. Don't wait for the school to enrich and accelerate. You can do it on your own by using Khan Academy.
College visits from 10th grade. Virtual is absolutely fine. Interview them.
You can do this?? I didn't even know that.
I don’t think you can, but Even if you can, don’t. You are sending your kid the message that high school is just a means of getting into college rather than that it is a journey about education and self growth. All of this early emphasis on college is part of what is messing these kids up and causing so much drama over rejections.
Besides, if your kid’s ECs and accomplishments are meaningful, they won’t have to track them to remember them! I think the common app only allows for 11 or so activities. If your kid can’t keep track of those, they aren’t getting through college.
This. It's actually only 10 ECs plus some space for honors. And, not much space to write on each ECs. Do a couple things you care about, have some hobbies, don't worry so much about doing EVERYTHING.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 19:38
Subject: Re:Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
Have your child apply to a variety of college types and sizes: small, large, city suburban etc. They may think they know what they want and like in September but that can change in the spring when decision time comes around.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 19:12
Subject: Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
Prepare for disappointment, be humble with your successes and be gracious and supportive to others that succeed and fail.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 19:07
Subject: Re:Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
My suggestions of what I would do if I could start over (and some things DCs and I did that I think were successful).
Start saving for college very early (by age 5).
Prep for the SAT or ACT the summer after sophomore year and plan to take the 1st SAT or Act in the fall of the junior year. The prep for the SAT/ACT will help the PSAT score, and you will have plenty of time to retake and improve your score.
Focus on taking the most challenging courses offered beginning in 9th grade. Doing well is the top priority.
Find a passion and excel or consistently engage in the passion at school and over the summer.
Focus on one significant charitable project that will fit into the common app.
Visit enough schools so that your DC is able to pick one to apply to ED.
Carefully review course offerings and write about the program DC will enter and the courses they will take in the "Why this college" question on the common app.
Write the common app essay and as many other essays as possible the summer before senior year.
Do not use Naviance- the matches do not make sense and because you can't figure out the entire picture from 2 data points, its anxiety producing.
Apply ED and EA. Guide the choices as best you can, making sure DC picks a place with many good courses of study so DC will not have to transfer if DC changes their mind about what they want to do.
Be prepared for disappointment. Be supportive of other families who are going through this process, sharing things you learn along the way.
The college admissions process is the worst thing we do to our children. Try not to be too hard on them while they are going through it.
Veteran of 2 college admission processes and glad to be done
Start saving for college very early (by age 5).
Prep for the SAT or ACT the summer after sophomore year and plan to take the 1st SAT or Act in the fall of the junior year. The prep for the SAT/ACT will help the PSAT score, and you will have plenty of time to retake and improve your score.
Focus on taking the most challenging courses offered beginning in 9th grade. Doing well is the top priority.
Find a passion and excel or consistently engage in the passion at school and over the summer.
Focus on one significant charitable project that will fit into the common app.
Visit enough schools so that your DC is able to pick one to apply to ED.
Carefully review course offerings and write about the program DC will enter and the courses they will take in the "Why this college" question on the common app.
Write the common app essay and as many other essays as possible the summer before senior year.
Do not use Naviance- the matches do not make sense and because you can't figure out the entire picture from 2 data points, its anxiety producing.
Apply ED and EA. Guide the choices as best you can, making sure DC picks a place with many good courses of study so DC will not have to transfer if DC changes their mind about what they want to do.
Be prepared for disappointment. Be supportive of other families who are going through this process, sharing things you learn along the way.
The college admissions process is the worst thing we do to our children. Try not to be too hard on them while they are going through it.
Veteran of 2 college admission processes and glad to be done
Anonymous
04/08/2021 18:58
Subject: Re:Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Start the Common App in 9th grade...keep using it to add all the EC stats. You get into the habit of logging your accomplishment as well as have a fair sense where your application is weak.
Chart your courses for the entire HS journey beginning of 9th grade
Advanced Math actually starts from ES years. Don't wait for the school to enrich and accelerate. You can do it on your own by using Khan Academy.
College visits from 10th grade. Virtual is absolutely fine. Interview them.
You can do this?? I didn't even know that.
I don’t think you can, but Even if you can, don’t. You are sending your kid the message that high school is just a means of getting into college rather than that it is a journey about education and self growth. All of this early emphasis on college is part of what is messing these kids up and causing so much drama over rejections.
Besides, if your kid’s ECs and accomplishments are meaningful, they won’t have to track them to remember them! I think the common app only allows for 11 or so activities. If your kid can’t keep track of those, they aren’t getting through college.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 18:43
Subject: Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fewer safeties.
More UK institutions.
Don't bother applying to UNC when no one from your school has gotten in in 15 years
Read each school's newspaper regularly and make sure language professors and study away aren't being cut (William & Mary and Dartmouth are two examples).
Check up on the overall financial health of schools.
Do all supplemental essays, even the identity essay.
Ugh, UNC. My kid had a complete breakdown after getting deferred from UVA and denied from UNC. I tried to tell her about the in-state ratios (we're from neither NC nor VA) but she wasn't hearing any of it. It sucked to see that. She ended up getting into UVA but I wish she never applied to UNC (great, beautiful school though).
Probably healthy for your daughter to have that disappointment at age 17/18. Life can have many disappointments like that and it’s nice if she can learn to cope while under your roof.
Very true! It was within a few days though and she thought she wasn't going to get into any of her "dream" schools and took it so, so hard. But you're absolutely right. It's probably for the best that that happened then!
Anonymous
04/08/2021 18:14
Subject: Re:Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For a high stats kid how many matches/reaches would you suggest including if they’re applying to 10 schools total? (And by matches/reaches I mean BU/Colgate type schools, not ivies.)
For a true high stats kid I would 1) ensure first choice is done ED and 2) apply to more than 10, with the extras in the "high match/match" category.
Is 4.0 uw (with 9-11) APs total and 1540 SAT true high stats? School limits applications to 10.
That’s very strong for a competitive private.
However, I think limiting to 10 in the current environment (yield and admit rate uncertainty due to covid) is unreasonable. Your education records belong to you so you could inform them you will be applying to more than 10. This may not be a fight you want to have, but you could have it.
+100. Go in there and negotiate more apps - BUT be careful remember those counselors write the recs!
Anonymous
04/08/2021 18:08
Subject: Re:Lessons Learned- College Admissions- If you had to do it all again.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For a high stats kid how many matches/reaches would you suggest including if they’re applying to 10 schools total? (And by matches/reaches I mean BU/Colgate type schools, not ivies.)
For a true high stats kid I would 1) ensure first choice is done ED and 2) apply to more than 10, with the extras in the "high match/match" category.
Is 4.0 uw (with 9-11) APs total and 1540 SAT true high stats? School limits applications to 10.
That’s very strong for a competitive private.
However, I think limiting to 10 in the current environment (yield and admit rate uncertainty due to covid) is unreasonable. Your education records belong to you so you could inform them you will be applying to more than 10. This may not be a fight you want to have, but you could have it.