Anonymous wrote:DD is a junior, and her only options for college are in-state because of our family's financial situation. She has a 3.88 at a good public high school, one sport, no ECs to speak of. She hates high school with a passion, thinks it's idiotic, all her classes are stupid, hates the administration and its crazy rules and incompetence, etc. She does the work because her friends do it, but she has no enthusiasm for school at all.

She went to CTY at Johns Hopkins for three summers, where she really blossomed. She told me recently those were the happiest weeks of her life. Her CTY teachers said she was "exceptional" and "outstanding."

I'm not bragging, I'm worried. I fear she'll be unhappy and unchallenged in college. We can't afford to send her to a CTY-like top college. If you have a similarly gifted kid who went to a lower-ranked college, how did s/he do? Did your child find a peer group? Were the classes interesting/challenging enough? Any advice most appreciated.

Yikes. My take on this is that she wants to be at a small school where she is coddled and babied. If she hates school and has no enthusiasm for it then she really should think about alternatives. Frankly your report of her attending CTY doesn't ring true. It is more likely she attended some summer programs but without going through the rigorous testing and vetting process because a 3.88 is not a GT grade point average to be proud of. I think you need to look at small schools. She may do better at someplace like one of the Colleges That Change Lives.

OP, sorry to say but its very much a numbers game. If you are looking for high merit I would look at some of the good, but not tippy top, small private colleges. For example, My DD has UW 3.96 and got enough merit at St. Mary's of California to make it the same cost as ASU (that's our in-state). A 3.88UW is good, but it's not high enough to be a shoo-in for a merit award at a top school and, depending on your state, not a shoo-in for admission to a great in-state (looking at you, Virginia). Maybe start with the CTCL book and do the net price for some of those schools to give you a starting point.

Anonymous wrote:I think op is really just asking if her smart but underachieving kid will have a peer group to motivate her when she winds up at a lower ranked school. The answer to that is yes, but none of us can predict when op’s daughter will gain motivation to succeed in school. Gifted is clearly a trigger for many here.

OP, I think you can find more resources on JHU CTY website, including counseling services. They might be able to help with your specific issue. I first learned about CTY from a teacher who asked for a parent-teacher conference. The teacher saw that my kid was being bullied by some of her classmates. The kids' parents actually lodged complaints against my child that their average kids are being picked on. It was really ugly at that age - in elementary school. That was the meeting I first learned about JHU CTY. DCUM may not be the forum where you talk about gifted kids and problems specific to them.

Better than she would have at a "higher-ranked" college. She's crushing her classes, doing killer research with her professor, which will turn into a stellar senior thesis. She has great recommendations lined up for grad school and has enjoyed her time immensely at her low-stress, less competative, "lower-ranked" college. Plus, she much prefers the company of the down-to-earth students as opposed to the privileged snobs she'd encounter at a "highr-ranked" school.

I think op is really just asking if her smart but underachieving kid will have a peer group to motivate her when she winds up at a lower ranked school. The answer to that is yes, but none of us can predict when op’s daughter will gain motivation to succeed in school. Gifted is clearly a trigger for many here.

Are there really people who make over $250k and won’t send their kid to a SLAC? 😲

Anonymous wrote:OP's kid may be insufferable but also may be right. Anyway, OP's kid is a kid.

Developing a real relationship with professors can help. This can happen at research universities where professors hire research assistants. (Michigan and UVA and Berkeley are not the only big state universities out there.) It also happens at many excellent but not selective liberal arts colleges. (CTCL has a nice list for a start.)

OP's CHILD is not insufferable. It's OP who is insufferable! She uses the word gifted but doesn't believe in IQ tests

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again. Sorry I did not answer your question. He is enjoying his college experience. He has great professors, small classes and is doing extremely well academically. He does grouse once in a while about the many “dumb” kids, but he’s found a solid cohort of like kids - those who did not want a large public university experience but could not afford the top ranked schools. He has a generous merit package and is very fortunate. The cost after merit aid ended up just about $10k more than our state flagship, and is well worth it.

We can't afford $10K over our state flagship. In our experience, merit aid doesn't match in-state tuition. There may be exceptions, and I'm eager to find them.

Is your state flagship not highly ranked at all? Does it have an honors college option? She may be able to find some like-minded intellectuals there, or maybe in a club where members have specific interests? Guarantee there are some smart people at a state flagship somewhere.

Anonymous wrote:OP, my high stats kid with great ECs and awards got enough aid at schools like Oberlin ($75,000 plus) and Kenyon to bring the cost down to about $45,000 (not including personal expenses). I haven’t heard of a higher merit award this year there. Now, I have a friend whose kid got merit awards at much lower tier SLACs (like the Wesleyan in Louisiana) that brought cost down to $30,000. That kid did not have top stats or ECs (and in general struggles with academics.) I think your daughter presents ON PAPER more like the latter kid. UMD is one of the cheaper flagship state schools. You will be hard pressed to find cheaper. Lots of brilliant kids there. Probably less brilliant kids at the lower tier SLACs that you can maybe afford. I’d go to instate public unless you think your kid really needs the small school to thrive. I know this wasn’t precisely your question but I hope done of my answer was helpful.

I agree that without good stats it would be difficult to get substantial merit aid at a mid tier slac
In fact it might be difficult to get into the honors college at your state flagship. At UMD it is a holistic process but some honors programs like ILS and Gemstone admit students with SATs around 1550. You still have not told us which state you live in. If it is MD I still think UMD is a fantastic option. Even if your child does not get into one of the honors programs as a freshman, she could still take honors classes and earn the honors designation. UMD also has a scholars program which is easier to get into but also offers a great peer group You should be researching your in state school and trying to get your child excited about what they have to offer. As I mentioned in an earlier post if you live in Virginia, William and Mary would be a fantastic option for your child.
I would also encourage you to look at the Colleges that Change lives list. Many lower ranked slacs on there that offer a quality experience. Many seem ideally suited for students who are bright and want an intellectual experience but don’t have high stats or need more academic support to succeed. I am not sure how many offer merit aid but you could check out the Common Data set for any college that seems like a good fit - they have information on the average number and amount of non need based aid. Do your due diligence. Someone I know found a couple of them (Goucher and another one) to be a little angst-ridden and with lots of drug use when their child spent the weekend there to check it out.

Your daughter sounds like my HS Junior. I am not worried at all about DS attending VCU or GMU at instate tuition rate. He is highly intelligent, but did not bring it in high school. If the college years are when he blooms, he'll stand-out. If not, I'm only paying for college one semester at a time.

Anonymous wrote:If you are in Virginia, William and Mary should be on your list.
Many of the Ohio Slacs give merit aid but I am not sure if would be enough or if she has the stats to qualify for merit aid

If in Maryland, definitely apply by November 1st to be considered for the honors programs. There are TONS of bright, intellectual students at UMD honors. Half the graduating class from the Montgomery county magnet programs end up at UMD. She will have plenty of peers

Try to encourage her to see the glass as half full. Don’t describe any college as a “lower ranked” college. She needs to be encouraged to make the most of the opportunities she is provided. Make no mistake, you are doing well in providing her and her siblings with a college education. No small feat.

Admissions to William and Mary is very competitive. Based on what OP has posted, it would be a reach.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I may have missed it somewhere but have you had actual IQ testing done?

No. I don't believe in IQ tests. DD did take the SAT in 7th grade to get into CTY, and she did very well.

Are you also a climate change denier?

Anonymous wrote:Yes, done all the net price calculators. No, we won't get enough FA to equal the price in-state. She's not exceptional enough to get a full ride scholarship at any of the schools like Duke or U Chicago that offer them. Yes, there are lots of CTY kids in this area, but many either qualify for FA or have the means to go to top schools We are not in either category. DD's going to a state school, more likely than not, and that worries me, perhaps needlessly, but I'm worried nonetheless. Even if she got into Harvard, she would not go there. They would not give us enough FA. Yale's NPC said we didn't qualify for any FA at all.

That is simply not true. Many, many people cannot afford to pay for for elite schools, yet don’t qualify for FA.

My twice exceptional is doing okay but misses intellectual conversations. He is considering applying to one of the top tier in-state schools and transferring but would have to leave his sport which his ADHD brain needs.

Your DD may be twice exceptional as well or lacking executive function skills (another classic ADHD trait). I would definitely get it figured out before college. These kids are often near brilliant or truly brilliant but need support/the right environment to thrive.

|FWIW, I was your daughter, went to large state U, did exceptionally well because I was finally free to pick my own interests and went to a top tier grad school. This is a great path for "late-bloomers" who hated high school. I don't have ADHD (DH does) but I can hyper focus on topics of interest. I would have never forgotten an English test - that is classic ADHD/exec function issue).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I may have missed it somewhere but have you had actual IQ testing done?

No. I don't believe in IQ tests. DD did take the SAT in 7th grade to get into CTY, and she did very well.

She she's "gifted" because you say so? Her grades not say so.