Anonymous
Post 03/11/2021 13:38     Subject: 15 year old doesn’t want braces
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For numerous reasons, we were not able to do it when she was younger. Now we can. I told her I thought this summer was a good time to start. She practically started shaking, telling me she was absolutely not having braces in high school, I had my chance when she was younger (no, it was not possible for us at that time), and she will just live with the teeth she has.

This is nonsense, right? Teens don’t just get to decide they don’t get braces? Or is this a natural consequences thing. You get braces now and we pay for them, or you pay yourself if you want them later.

She has very high anxiety (gets treatment) and she’s bull-headed. It is a tough combination!


Are you serious???



Totally agree. Drop this OP. It is not worth it. Drop it. Please.


I'm the pp you responded to.

I am floored that so many parents think crooked teeth are "ok." They are your child's first impression to future employers as well as possible love interests, friends, etc. They are as important as her name.
You may as well have named her poopie Mcgee and expect her to be taken seriously.

Crooked teeth are not on par with anorexia.

Crooked teeth are on par with missing a few teeth and playing a whiskey jar banjo on your front porch.

Op, you should and it sounds like you do have basic expectations for your daughter. I'm sure education is important. Her health is important. Not having Crooked teeth is just as important.

My son with oppositional disorder didn't want braces either but he's damn glad I insisted.

If your daughter has anxiety about change/the unknown, that may be part of her resistance.

I'm just SMH at how indulgent these other parents are!


Crooked teeth are not on par with missing a few teeth and playing a whiskey jar banjo on the front porch because if they were, they wouldn't be called "crooked teeth," they'd be called "Appalachian poverty." Crooked teeth are also not on par with anorexia, in that anorexia has a death rate--that is not low--and crooked teeth are a 100% delayable issue and one millions of normal, active adults who have jobs, love interests and friends have done nothing about for life while continuing to thrive.

Check your presumptions and be more helpful to the OP.
Anonymous
Post 03/11/2021 12:44     Subject: 15 year old doesn’t want braces
I had to get braces at 17 and was very opposed. We settled on lingual braces. They may cost a bit more (I think back then - 2005ish - they were about $2k more than standard braces), but they are on the back of the teeth, cannot be removed, and worked as well as traditional braces. I was done in about a year and my teeth look great 15 years later.
Anonymous
Post 03/11/2021 12:22     Subject: 15 year old doesn’t want braces
My kids were not recommended for braces until they were 14, so why does she think it is so unusual to have them in high school? Anyway, mine did Invisalign and it was fast and easy.
Start her in the summer so she has months of getting used to it before enduring "school with braces." By then she will be seeing the difference and realize it is no big deal.
Anonymous
Post 03/11/2021 12:15     Subject: Re:15 year old doesn’t want braces
Invisalign. She barely notice.

My 15-year old finished Invisalign right before HS.

Unfortunately, his younger brother (13) still has so many baby teeth and they can't be pulled yet because the roots are still deep (dentist and ortho recommend waiting) so he cannot start Invisalign until some of these non-loose teeth fall out.

He will definitely be in Invisalign in HS.

I was like your daughter. My teeth were pretty good--just a very minor overlap of tooth in front and I did not want metal braces back in the 70s/80s. The weird thing is I have always got compliments on my smile and teeth. I think my teeth don't really show when I smile--just very small amount at bottom.

I know so many adults whose teeth shifted midlife after having braces in their youth and their teeth are not better than mine now.
Anonymous
Post 03/11/2021 09:20     Subject: Re:15 year old doesn’t want braces
This is OP. That’s a great point, thank you. I wasn’t thinking about the retainer at all.

DH and I have decided to drop it. It would have been sooner than I ideally wanted re: anorexia treatment (which, FYI, can last years). I was just trying to be sensitive to her not having braces senior year. I agree that it is not that important. She had never before expressed that she didn’t want braces, so I was caught completely off guard. Anorexia has disrupted many of her other timelines, unfortunately, and this one is minor in comparison.

To those of you who are saying I’m part of the problem because I won’t get her Invisalign: you are profoundly ignorant and cruel. I am the primary reason she is not dead right now, and that has come at a great cost to my physical and emotional health. Anorexia is deadly, and I would never give her something that could send her back down to her darkest moments.



Yeah, this is really tough. As a parent of a child with serious mental illness that has completely derailed his teen years, I feel for you. The things we have to consider when making decisions about our kids are completely different than what other parents think about and the toll it takes on us is unbelievable. I am glad that you reached peace with your decision and I wish you and your daughter health in the future.
Anonymous
Post 03/11/2021 07:36     Subject: Re:15 year old doesn’t want braces
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think part of the issue with anorexia and Invisalign is the focus on taking them in and out for meals which could be a trigger. My children had stages of their Invisalign treatment where (per the doctors instructions) they were only wearing them after dinner till morning (and changed retainers less frequently.) maybe it’s worth discussing with the orthodontist if Invisalign would be possible with an altered/longer timeline that allowed them to be worn part time.


Sorry I didn’t see your post about it never being an option.


That’s okay. Your suggestion doesn’t quite work, but it is interesting. And you are right. The Invisalign hygiene process discourages casual snacking, and that’s the opposite what we are trying to do.


Keep in mind that almost all orthodontia treatment doesn't end with braces, it ends with a retainer, and these issues (potential uncooperation, discouraging snacking) will be the same with a retainer as with Invisalign. You could fight through the braces process only to have a disrupted treatment if she doesn't follow up with the retainer on the back end.


This is OP. That’s a great point, thank you. I wasn’t thinking about the retainer at all.

DH and I have decided to drop it. It would have been sooner than I ideally wanted re: anorexia treatment (which, FYI, can last years). I was just trying to be sensitive to her not having braces senior year. I agree that it is not that important. She had never before expressed that she didn’t want braces, so I was caught completely off guard. Anorexia has disrupted many of her other timelines, unfortunately, and this one is minor in comparison.

To those of you who are saying I’m part of the problem because I won’t get her Invisalign: you are profoundly ignorant and cruel. I am the primary reason she is not dead right now, and that has come at a great cost to my physical and emotional health. Anorexia is deadly, and I would never give her something that could send her back down to her darkest moments.


Best wishes, OP. I think you are making the right decision. You would not want anything to derail her recovery. I can only imagine how terrifying and difficult things have been.
Anonymous
Post 03/11/2021 07:31     Subject: 15 year old doesn’t want braces
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My children do not get to decide about medical issues. That's my job as a parent. If I say you need braces, you're getting braces.


Braces aren't a medical issue.


Sometimes they are.


Yes, but that's not true for most and does not appear to be the case here. So what is your point?
Anonymous
Post 03/11/2021 07:09     Subject: Re:15 year old doesn’t want braces
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think part of the issue with anorexia and Invisalign is the focus on taking them in and out for meals which could be a trigger. My children had stages of their Invisalign treatment where (per the doctors instructions) they were only wearing them after dinner till morning (and changed retainers less frequently.) maybe it’s worth discussing with the orthodontist if Invisalign would be possible with an altered/longer timeline that allowed them to be worn part time.


Sorry I didn’t see your post about it never being an option.


That’s okay. Your suggestion doesn’t quite work, but it is interesting. And you are right. The Invisalign hygiene process discourages casual snacking, and that’s the opposite what we are trying to do.


Keep in mind that almost all orthodontia treatment doesn't end with braces, it ends with a retainer, and these issues (potential uncooperation, discouraging snacking) will be the same with a retainer as with Invisalign. You could fight through the braces process only to have a disrupted treatment if she doesn't follow up with the retainer on the back end.


This is OP. That’s a great point, thank you. I wasn’t thinking about the retainer at all.

DH and I have decided to drop it. It would have been sooner than I ideally wanted re: anorexia treatment (which, FYI, can last years). I was just trying to be sensitive to her not having braces senior year. I agree that it is not that important. She had never before expressed that she didn’t want braces, so I was caught completely off guard. Anorexia has disrupted many of her other timelines, unfortunately, and this one is minor in comparison.

To those of you who are saying I’m part of the problem because I won’t get her Invisalign: you are profoundly ignorant and cruel. I am the primary reason she is not dead right now, and that has come at a great cost to my physical and emotional health. Anorexia is deadly, and I would never give her something that could send her back down to her darkest moments.
Anonymous
Post 03/11/2021 06:49     Subject: Re:15 year old doesn’t want braces
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think part of the issue with anorexia and Invisalign is the focus on taking them in and out for meals which could be a trigger. My children had stages of their Invisalign treatment where (per the doctors instructions) they were only wearing them after dinner till morning (and changed retainers less frequently.) maybe it’s worth discussing with the orthodontist if Invisalign would be possible with an altered/longer timeline that allowed them to be worn part time.


Sorry I didn’t see your post about it never being an option.


That’s okay. Your suggestion doesn’t quite work, but it is interesting. And you are right. The Invisalign hygiene process discourages casual snacking, and that’s the opposite what we are trying to do.


Keep in mind that almost all orthodontia treatment doesn't end with braces, it ends with a retainer, and these issues (potential uncooperation, discouraging snacking) will be the same with a retainer as with Invisalign. You could fight through the braces process only to have a disrupted treatment if she doesn't follow up with the retainer on the back end.