Anonymous wrote:A woman I follow on Twitter is doing the same thing - basically commenting on aspects of the divorce and the divorce process. She gave up a tenure track position and after 25 years of raising two kids and working as a writer where he was the primary earner, he is divorcing and refusing to pay alimony or child support.

I admire her for it.

Yes, it is abusive. Yes, women are told to keep large parts of our lives secret for the sake of the marriage and kids and our “dignity”. We are told to accept marital and financial rape and to continue to expose ourselves smilingly to our emotional, verbal and physical abusers.

I have to agree. My parents know my husband is a real ass but they still think I belong with him. They’d be horrified to know I’m planning divorce. We are Asian and you just don’t air your dirty laundry…

If you are going through something similar do not leave, fight you must seek your peace you did not come to this world to suffer and if you do not find help visit here so that they can give you their help do not remain silent, one as a person really who must fight for get ahead I understand the situation of many because I lived all that in my home with my ex-husbands and in the end I left there never to return.

So many false equivalences.

Choosing to not share the details of your divorce publicaly is not the same as silencing domestic violencec vivtims. She knew what she was doig by attempting to draw the comparison. She waned attention and she got it.

Also acting in dignity and being honest about your divorce are not mutually exclusive.


When it comes to divorce, these things do not happen in a vacuum, so if you want to speak out, your ex-spouse gets to speak out too about all their reasons for wanting the divorce and, others get to have an opinion on it, and you may not like what they want to hear.

It also means you have to accept men as victims of divorce and infidelity too.


She tried, it but it's not quite there, which is why she deleted her post.

This new wave ( white women feminism ) leaves a lot to be desired and does more harm than good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how about just keeping your private life private.

the fact that you are getting divorced really isn't any else's business but yours, your soon to be ex and your children.

if you are abused, then take it to proper authorities. IG FB tiktok, etc aren't the proper platforms for exposing that kind of personal info... IMHO

The "authorities" don't help and often are abusers themselves. They intimidate victims into not pressing charges and retraumatize them. Violence against another person isn't "personal" and shouldn't be swept under the rug.

Also, a culture which shames women who speak publicly about these experiences is denying them the ability to connect with others and gain comradeship and social support on these issues - precisely the reason abusers don’t want victims to speak publicly - silencing them keeps them separated and disempowered.

Anonymous wrote:how about just keeping your private life private.

the fact that you are getting divorced really isn't any else's business but yours, your soon to be ex and your children.

if you are abused, then take it to proper authorities. IG FB tiktok, etc aren't the proper platforms for exposing that kind of personal info... IMHO

silence = complicity

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how about just keeping your private life private.

the fact that you are getting divorced really isn't any else's business but yours, your soon to be ex and your children.

if you are abused, then take it to proper authorities. IG FB tiktok, etc aren't the proper platforms for exposing that kind of personal info... IMHO

There are plenty of social platforms where people communicate nowadays with family members and friends. It's the same as going to city market in mid ages and chatting with a neighbor.
I would think that friends would need to know why the marriage fell apart. Leaving ambiguity would allow the adulterers to blame everything on the other side, or even smear spouses with the family friends. Talking to friends on social platforms about private life is fine IMHO

Yeah. The OW loved to post about what a great wife, home maker and mother she was all over the Internet...with her secret of picking up strangers on the Internet and screwing them. Why not expose reality?

AP I knew was arranging for the husband to take her boys on out of town college tour trips so that she could meet with her married lover. She claimed to be such a great mom on social media, but even though she didn't work, her husband still did 90% of all kid duties---handled school issues, sports practices/games, etc., while she entertained other men. To this day, she goes on and on about her 'babies' when she has been dying for them to leave the nest so she can be a real ho even more time to cheat.

That's because cheaters are 100% selfish. What kind of mother wouldn't even want to go on any of her son's college tour trips? One that would rather use that time to have a sleepover with her lover.