Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:24     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:Who are all these people that feel entitled to money they didn't earn? I'm shocked to see all these greedy responses. If my parents decide they want to set all their money on fire before they pass, it's their prerogative.

You're all adults. Make your own money and stop hovering over your aging parents like vultures.

My mom has given us money now because she likes to see us enjoy it so I am not expecting anything upon her death. But don't discount the other posters, they bring up valid points. Even if you don't care about the money, would you really be fine with potentially greedy strangers - new spouse's kids- ending up with it and trashing photos because they don't know who they are?

Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:24     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow so many greedy and entitled children here.


+1

Exactly.

Not really. As a wife and mom, I wouldn't want DH to remarry as I did not spend my life building wealth for another woman to enjoy. It's for my kids to enjoy once we are gone.


My MIL had the exact same sentiment. Many years ago, she found out she had cancer in January. She died in April. She literally told FIL on her death bed "Don't marry someone else because I don't want someone else to enjoy everything I worked so hard for." FIL was engaged by fall. FIL and his new wife have been married nearly 15 years now and (pre-covid) went on MANY nice vacations.

Looks like your FIL was widowed relatively young then. Did your MIL seriously expect him to live the rest of his life alone? How selfish.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:24     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow so many greedy and entitled children here.


+1

Exactly.

Not really. As a wife and mom, I wouldn't want DH to remarry as I did not spend my life building wealth for another woman to enjoy. It's for my kids to enjoy once we are gone.


Then you can make arrangements for that to happen. It is very easy to set up a trust to do this.

Personally I would be happy for my spouse to find happiness with someone else after I die. I have made provision for one or two sentimental things to go to them when I die, and the rest will go to my spouse to spend as they see fit. We built the wealth together, and paid for our kids' educations. Up to them to build their own wealth.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:24     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:Who are all these people that feel entitled to money they didn't earn? I'm shocked to see all these greedy responses. If my parents decide they want to set all their money on fire before they pass, it's their prerogative.

You're all adults. Make your own money and stop hovering over your aging parents like vultures.


This isn’t the issue. I make more in a year than my parents made their entire lives. And if my DW were to pass before me, and I’m rounding 70 and decide to marry a woman 10 years younger to keep my d wet, shifting all or a good chunk of that wealth to Wife #2 and her kids/grandkids—at the expense of my own, who happen to be the sole offspring of my dead wife who raised the family—I would be an absolute scumbag. Or, at a minimum, an old dolt who allowed his heirs to be robbed of millions because I needed “companionship” (which I note is readily available without actually remarrying).
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:23     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow so many greedy and entitled children here.


+1

Exactly.

Not really. As a wife and mom, I wouldn't want DH to remarry as I did not spend my life building wealth for another woman to enjoy. It's for my kids to enjoy once we are gone.


My MIL had the exact same sentiment. Many years ago, she found out she had cancer in January. She died in April. She literally told FIL on her death bed "Don't marry someone else because I don't want someone else to enjoy everything I worked so hard for." FIL was engaged by fall. FIL and his new wife have been married nearly 15 years now and (pre-covid) went on MANY nice vacations.


Wow. He is gross. She must be rolling in her grave.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:22     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow so many greedy and entitled children here.


+1

Exactly.

Not really. As a wife and mom, I wouldn't want DH to remarry as I did not spend my life building wealth for another woman to enjoy. It's for my kids to enjoy once we are gone.


But you are DEAD control freak. Nothing wrong with OP’s dad looking for a partner to share his life. He could live another 20-30 years.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:22     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow so many greedy and entitled children here.


+1

Exactly.

Not really. As a wife and mom, I wouldn't want DH to remarry as I did not spend my life building wealth for another woman to enjoy. It's for my kids to enjoy once we are gone.


As a wife and a mom, I did not spend my entire life accumulating money for any reason other than that I enjoy my work, I live within my means, and I hope not to be a financial burden on my kids or husband after I die. I want my husband to be happy, since I did spend my life building a life with him, including our wealth and the children we raised together. If I die before him and he wants to remarry, I hope he picks someone who makes him happy and don’t really care beyond that. I have specific things set aside for my kids explicitly and if my husband’s hypothetical second wife wants to spend our money to give my DH the golden years I couldn’t, more power to her.

If my kids inherit the balance, great. If there is no balance and all the estate needs get taken care of, great. I trust my husband to honor me and our marriage. If I didn’t trust him with that, I wouldn’t have married and procreated with him.


I prioritize my kids, not my DH's new bed buddy. If having a new woman is more important than his kids....that says a lot.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:21     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow so many greedy and entitled children here.


+1

Exactly.

Not really. As a wife and mom, I wouldn't want DH to remarry as I did not spend my life building wealth for another woman to enjoy. It's for my kids to enjoy once we are gone.


My MIL had the exact same sentiment. Many years ago, she found out she had cancer in January. She died in April. She literally told FIL on her death bed "Don't marry someone else because I don't want someone else to enjoy everything I worked so hard for." FIL was engaged by fall. FIL and his new wife have been married nearly 15 years now and (pre-covid) went on MANY nice vacations.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:21     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At 68, he should calm his hormones. He doesn't need a wife. He is just horny. It is disgraceful to your mom's memory. He had his love. Now he should focus on being a grandpa.

Everything your mom worked for will go to this new wife and HER kids.


Because you say so?


This is my opinion only , not the law.
I hope my DH doesn't betray the family honor like this.

This lady is a gold digger. Seems gross they knew each other before. Hopefully, there isn't a story there.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:20     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow so many greedy and entitled children here.


+1

Exactly.

Not really. As a wife and mom, I wouldn't want DH to remarry as I did not spend my life building wealth for another woman to enjoy. It's for my kids to enjoy once we are gone.


As a wife and a mom, I did not spend my entire life accumulating money for any reason other than that I enjoy my work, I live within my means, and I hope not to be a financial burden on my kids or husband after I die. I want my husband to be happy, since I did spend my life building a life with him, including our wealth and the children we raised together. If I die before him and he wants to remarry, I hope he picks someone who makes him happy and don’t really care beyond that. I have specific things set aside for my kids explicitly and if my husband’s hypothetical second wife wants to spend our money to give my DH the golden years I couldn’t, more power to her.

If my kids inherit the balance, great. If there is no balance and all the estate needs get taken care of, great. I trust my husband to honor me and our marriage. If I didn’t trust him with that, I wouldn’t have married and procreated with him.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:16     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:tell him that you expect nothing from your father's estate. I have family that is banking on something while I am taking care of my own finances so I don't have to worry about that.

It is your father's estate, he can donate it all to some charity or leave it all to the new wife. bottom line is your husband is looking for a payday.


+1

How much are we talking, OP?


I am not comfortable sharing amounts, sorry. It isn't pittance, or the conversation would not have come up.


Why? I dont get this. You shared much more info than that. Nobody here knows you so why not?
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:16     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Who are all these people that feel entitled to money they didn't earn? I'm shocked to see all these greedy responses. If my parents decide they want to set all their money on fire before they pass, it's their prerogative.

You're all adults. Make your own money and stop hovering over your aging parents like vultures.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:14     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow so many greedy and entitled children here.


+1

Exactly.

Not really. As a wife and mom, I wouldn't want DH to remarry as I did not spend my life building wealth for another woman to enjoy. It's for my kids to enjoy once we are gone.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:13     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:At 68, he should calm his hormones. He doesn't need a wife. He is just horny. It is disgraceful to your mom's memory. He had his love. Now he should focus on being a grandpa.

Everything your mom worked for will go to this new wife and HER kids.


Given that none of this man’s family has these concerns except his son-in-law, who seems to be counting the inheritance already, I think your opinion doesn’t really matter. Not everyone does things like you want or expect.

OP, it sounds like you and your dad have a great relationship and I hope you are able to get some answers about his wishes.

As for your husband, you should tell him that his comments are entirely inappropriate and to keep similar comments to himself if he feels them coming on. He should be following your lead here, not being an asshole because you don’t share his opinion about the overall situation.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2021 18:12     Subject: Husband making comments about my dad's will
Anonymous wrote:Your husband lives in the real world and seems to be the only one making sense.

What is the rush for someone approaching 70 to re-marry??



AMEN