Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you blaming her parents need to stop. Once your kid hits 18 you have very little control over them and who has access to them. It's as useless as blaming Evan herself for the abuse.

18 is just a number. Nothing magical happens when you turn 18. Her parents failed her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you blaming her parents need to stop. Once your kid hits 18 you have very little control over them and who has access to them. It's as useless as blaming Evan herself for the abuse.

18 is just a number. Nothing magical happens when you turn 18. Her parents failed her.

You can have the best, most loving, responsible, and empowering parents in the world and still be the victim of assault and abuse. Ask me how I know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you blaming her parents need to stop. Once your kid hits 18 you have very little control over them and who has access to them. It's as useless as blaming Evan herself for the abuse.

18 is just a number. Nothing magical happens when you turn 18. Her parents failed her.

Anonymous wrote:Some of you blaming her parents need to stop. Once your kid hits 18 you have very little control over them and who has access to them. It's as useless as blaming Evan herself for the abuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you blaming her parents need to stop. Once your kid hits 18 you have very little control over them and who has access to them. It's as useless as blaming Evan herself for the abuse.

I disagree. They were the ones responsible for her upbringing. If they had done a better job modeling acceptable behaviors and helping her develop her instincts, and for being her safety net after she turned 18, then I think Wood would have made better choices. As far as I am concerned they are a major reason why she ended up the way she did.

This. Although some kids are determined to do what they want to do, right or wrong.

I hope she is getting some help now.

You smug mommies of toddlers and preschoolers make me laugh.

I am the second poster. Our oldest is now out of college for 2 years, and we have 3 more who are in college, so all at or older than the age of Wood when she first met up with that jerk Warner. My husband and I have BTDT in terms of modeling behavior and providing guidance for our kids.

People like Warner have a finely honed instinct to go after people who are vulnerable and who can be groomed into accepting abuse and other perversions. Warner saw Wood's vulnerabilities and went for it, and her parents still didn't step in or provide direction.

I don't understand why you are defending them. That's insane.

Wood's parents did a lousy job in their primary role of raising a healthy and happy child into a healthy, happy and successful adult. They are a complete fail as parents in my book.

That poor girl.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you blaming her parents need to stop. Once your kid hits 18 you have very little control over them and who has access to them. It's as useless as blaming Evan herself for the abuse.

I disagree. They were the ones responsible for her upbringing. If they had done a better job modeling acceptable behaviors and helping her develop her instincts, and for being her safety net after she turned 18, then I think Wood would have made better choices. As far as I am concerned they are a major reason why she ended up the way she did.

This. Although some kids are determined to do what they want to do, right or wrong.

I hope she is getting some help now.

You smug mommies of toddlers and preschoolers make me laugh.

I am the second poster. Our oldest is now out of college for 2 years, and we have 3 more who are in college, so all at or older than the age of Wood when she first met up with that jerk Warner. My husband and I have BTDT in terms of modeling behavior and providing guidance for our kids.

People like Warner have a finely honed instinct to go after people who are vulnerable and who can be groomed into accepting abuse and other perversions. Warner saw Wood's vulnerabilities and went for it, and her parents still didn't step in or provide direction.

I don't understand why you are defending them. That's insane.

Wood's parents did a lousy job in their primary role of raising a healthy and happy child into a healthy, happy and successful adult. They are a complete fail as parents in my book.

That poor girl.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you blaming her parents need to stop. Once your kid hits 18 you have very little control over them and who has access to them. It's as useless as blaming Evan herself for the abuse.

I disagree. They were the ones responsible for her upbringing. If they had done a better job modeling acceptable behaviors and helping her develop her instincts, and for being her safety net after she turned 18, then I think Wood would have made better choices. As far as I am concerned they are a major reason why she ended up the way she did.

This. Although some kids are determined to do what they want to do, right or wrong.

I hope she is getting some help now.

You smug mommies of toddlers and preschoolers make me laugh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you blaming her parents need to stop. Once your kid hits 18 you have very little control over them and who has access to them. It's as useless as blaming Evan herself for the abuse.

I disagree. They were the ones responsible for her upbringing. If they had done a better job modeling acceptable behaviors and helping her develop her instincts, and for being her safety net after she turned 18, then I think Wood would have made better choices. As far as I am concerned they are a major reason why she ended up the way she did.

This. Although some kids are determined to do what they want to do, right or wrong.

I hope she is getting some help now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you blaming her parents need to stop. Once your kid hits 18 you have very little control over them and who has access to them. It's as useless as blaming Evan herself for the abuse.

I disagree. They were the ones responsible for her upbringing. If they had done a better job modeling acceptable behaviors and helping her develop her instincts, and for being her safety net after she turned 18, then I think Wood would have made better choices. As far as I am concerned they are a major reason why she ended up the way she did.

Anonymous wrote:Some of you blaming her parents need to stop. Once your kid hits 18 you have very little control over them and who has access to them. It's as useless as blaming Evan herself for the abuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


There was a lot of press at the time fawning all over him for basically being the polar opposite of his persona in real life. A really calm, thoughtful, intelligent, and even shy guy who loved puppies and kittens and was the height of non-threatening. I think Dita originally put a lot of that narrative out there when they were together, but it was definitely a thing. He is actually pretty intelligent and well spoken but quiet in interviews. I can see that narrative making you question yourself, especially at 18.

Yes, I'm glad someone picked up on this... I was not goth, did not listen to Manson, and had no idea about his love life, but I do remember this being the media narrative at the time: it's all for show, it's art. And I think all the blamers are missing the point that it is very VERY unlikely that he approached Evan Rachel Wood by discussing how he liked to kill puppies/hurt partners. Instead it was likely a reiteration of this exact same narrative that was already the prevailing one--I am shy and sensitive and it is an absurd act you are smart enough to see this, save me, etc. The same crap many many much older women have fallen for when they want to rescue a (hopefully much less toxic) loser.

Completely agree. I also was not goth and didn't listen to his music, but, in case you weren't around back then or are just going by the pictures, this was very much the narrative. The message was that Brian Warner was separate and different from Marilyn Manson, which was just a public persona/character.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


There was a lot of press at the time fawning all over him for basically being the polar opposite of his persona in real life. A really calm, thoughtful, intelligent, and even shy guy who loved puppies and kittens and was the height of non-threatening. I think Dita originally put a lot of that narrative out there when they were together, but it was definitely a thing. He is actually pretty intelligent and well spoken but quiet in interviews. I can see that narrative making you question yourself, especially at 18.

Yes, I'm glad someone picked up on this... I was not goth, did not listen to Manson, and had no idea about his love life, but I do remember this being the media narrative at the time: it's all for show, it's art. And I think all the blamers are missing the point that it is very VERY unlikely that he approached Evan Rachel Wood by discussing how he liked to kill puppies/hurt partners. Instead it was likely a reiteration of this exact same narrative that was already the prevailing one--I am shy and sensitive and it is an absurd act you are smart enough to see this, save me, etc. The same crap many many much older women have fallen for when they want to rescue a (hopefully much less toxic) loser.

Completely agree. I also was not goth and didn't listen to his music, but, in case you weren't around back then or are just going by the pictures, this was very much the narrative. The message was that Brian Warner was separate and different from Marilyn Manson, which was just a public persona/character.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone assumed that it was Marilyln Manson considering she was with him when she was very young (and was probably abused by men before him). I cannot believe the victim blaming on this thread. You lot are disgusting.

IT’S NOT VICTIM BLAMING!!!!! I have enormous sympathy for her. But DAMN, let’s use good judgment and instincts ladies!

When you are young your instincts and judgements are less matured and your perception of dangerous behavior not as evolved as an adult. This isn’t just lack of experience, it’s biological and a reflection of brain and emotional development. Moreover, people like Manson, who groomed Wood from a young age, intentionally desensitize their victims to inappropriate and/or dangerous acts; it’s the entire point of grooming and how they prey on and ultimately exploit their victims. Lastly, in Hollywood, where children are adultified and sexualized, predatory behavior is - or has been historically - normalized.

All of which is to day, you ARE victim blaming. And you are substantiating it by using terms like “good judgement” that negate that young victims of rape, abuse, and assault are often deprived through grooming, lack of appropriate boundaries of adults around them, lack of supervision of truly caring, responsible adults, and sheer youth to detect what is assault versus affection, rape versus consensual sex, and “normal” versus inappropriate behavior.

Please stop.

No. I’ve been to pedophile & abuse training for youth. One of the biggest points they drive home is how to sharpen our senses, how to listen to our instincts. Your message seems to be implying to we have no instincts, agency, or ability to develop character discernment. We absolutely do. Young women must listen to them. In these training courses, they talk about grooming. They discuss what type of “asks” are inappropriate, and what type of “asks” should send a shiver down your spine. Many of us know these things intuitively. Many others need to hear it (especially kids). I do not blame Rachel whatsoever. But...let’s encourage our kids to take people for their word. If they appear to be cruel, then don’t enter a relationship or leave it when it becomes apparent. That’s all. And nothing I said is controversial.

Sure, in an ideal world kids are encouraged to recognized alarm bells and set boundaries and intuitively detect predators and alert responsible adults. But predators often seek out kids who don’t live in that ideal world, they look for kids who seem less protected, more eager to please, and/or neglected emotionally and otherwise. Moreover, predators don’t always appear cruel - that’s very often the essence of grooming (which you’d know if you’ve taken abuse training). So yes, let’s encourage kids to use their instincts and their voice, but just because kids are abused doesn’t mean they failed in some way. Or that they just weren’t paying attention, or “should have known”. That’s what you’re implying and no, that’s not right - it’s absolutely victim blaming. Woods was clearly caught and groomed by a predator. It’s not because she failed in some way.