Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three girls. The older two were doing horseback riding for a number of years. We were not going to buy a horse; we were not going to even get into leasing a horse. We had said they can take weekly lessons, some camp time in the summer, and we'll do a few shows that fit our schedule.

Do you regret having them start in the first place, or do you think they got something out of the years they rode?

I will take this question as a former non-wealthy shy kid who only rode once a week. YES!! I totally got something out of it despite having never had my own horse as a kid and never showing. I was way too shy to want to show any way.

I gained confidence and I got to bond with and learn to trust a massive animal. As an extreme example there are therapeutic riding horse organizations that work with people with physical disabilities and emotional issues. There are some that just help with veterans with PTSD. Your DD doesn't need that obviously but I believe every horse is a therapy horse on some level.

Long term I lived in the UK and rode over there as an adult. I got to gallop along a mountain ridge in Wales. I learned dressage. I rode in Hyde Park in London. I rounded up cattle on horseback.

Now I'm still not rich (dangit) but I lease a horse and am riding more at 45 than I ever have in my life.

Yes, for a shy or introverted kid, horses are great. Once a week is fine. When she's older, she can decide if she wants more riding /horse time. There is no need to compete at the elite level; there is no need to buy, or buy a fancy horse if you do. The most important learning does not require that.

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter who figure skates. If your daughter wants to skate recreationally, it is not terribly expensive - you can do group lessons and buy inexpensive used skates. If she wants to skate competitively, it is hideously expensive. My daughter's skates cost close to $1000 for boots and blades. Ice time is $400+ per month, plus private lessons at $50 per half hour.

This.
Out of the three sports, skiing is the most affordable.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. DD’s riding teacher says she doesn’t need to have her own horse to progress. I’m skeptical as most girls there have their own horse. Everyone on the team certainly does. Is this the first thing I should nip in the bud?

There is zero need to buy a horse. You can lease a horse if it comes to that. That means you are not stuck with it when DD stops riding - believe me, nobody wants your horse and you’re stuck. Plus a competition quality horse costs upwards of $80k if you want a hunter jumper. You can buy used competition clothes online. She can trade barn work for lessons. That’s all I got!

OP, I run a professional dressage barn and we compete seriously. I was third in the nation last year in my horse’s level with USDF. I have lived and breathed horses since I was 4.

If your daughter loves it, just do what you can. NYC is insanely expensive when it comes to equestrian sport. Board for a horse can easily run $3k-$5k a month, not counting lessons or training. It is obscene. There are few stall mucking opportunities because it is very professionalized. Some top barns require you have at least 2 horses and show. Not at all difficult to spend six figures a year minimum, not counting the price of the horses (easily mid-6 figures). You can’t compete with that; don’t try. There is a lot to be learned in a different kind of program.

I would keep doing your weekly lessons. try to find a barn with an IEA team, and set her up for going to a college with a well-supported IHSA team.

Another option is to try to find a small program and try to additional time. We have just a handful of juniors in my barn and a tiny lesson program. Mostly adult amateurs with competition horses, or horses the pro is competing. I can offer some “work for saddle time” that a bigger program just can’t accommodate. I consider it a “pay it forward” as I had such a position as a kid and it gave me the skills I have today, but it is hard to even find a kid willing to muck stalls to ride. They are so busy with other activities...just the way it is now. Plus, I can’t blame you for not wanting to spend all your time driving back and forth. That is fine. Don’t give yourself a hard time if that is impossible.

Best of luck to you and your daughter.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. DD’s riding teacher says she doesn’t need to have her own horse to progress. I’m skeptical as most girls there have their own horse. Everyone on the team certainly does. Is this the first thing I should nip in the bud?

You can find a ride share and work in the barn for lessons

There are a bunch of really good NJ rinks, too. If you have more questions about skates, etc., I am happy to help. There is a Figure Skating Moms group on Facebook where you can ask questions as well, and Used Figure Skating gear groups where you can almost always find inexpensive used skates.

Anonymous wrote:

Op here. Yes would love to hear more about skating! Our local rink has a good ice hockey program, which is a terrible fit. So we do privates when every few weeks (different instructors/not a program/patchwork). She said she's like to do more, but I don't really know where to start. Thanks!

OP, I think you said you are in NYC. Is that right? The Figure Skating Club of New York is a really strong club, and my understanding is that they are out of Sky Rink at Chelsea Piers (or at least that is the NYC rink I have always heard about). I don't know much about them. I cannot for the life of me find a list of their figure skating coaches, but it looks like it has a solid Learn to Skate program - https://www.chelseapiers.com/sr/skating-school/learn-to-skate-clinics/. I would start there.

If you are in the DC area and I misunderstood, I can definitely provide more detailed information.

So funny you mentioned that. DD's stable friend does this program. I think her mom did too, back in the day. Thanks! It's on my list. We've been driving to NJ but this is mcuh better

Op here. Yes would love to hear more about skating! Our local rink has a good ice hockey program, which is a terrible fit. So we do privates when every few weeks (different instructors/not a program/patchwork). She said she's like to do more, but I don't really know where to start. Thanks!

OP, I think you said you are in NYC. Is that right? The Figure Skating Club of New York is a really strong club, and my understanding is that they are out of Sky Rink at Chelsea Piers (or at least that is the NYC rink I have always heard about). I don't know much about them. I cannot for the life of me find a list of their figure skating coaches, but it looks like it has a solid Learn to Skate program - https://www.chelseapiers.com/sr/skating-school/learn-to-skate-clinics/. I would start there.

If you are in the DC area and I misunderstood, I can definitely provide more detailed information.

I'm glad I learned to ski as a kid, I don't know if I would have been willing to learn in my mid 30s when we moved to Colorado. I didn't ski for about 20 years but was able to pick it up just fine after my last pregnancy.

I don't ski as much as DH, who really loves it, but it's something fun to do with friends and family, and DH often goes with clients.

Tennis is reasonable at the recreation end. Decent beginners racquet and balls, and public kids camps aren't bad. As an adult, I can still do leagues organized online where I meet other average players at public courts for $35 a season.

However, going past that level, the cost spirals out of control - lessons are expensive even with group lessons. Traveling to play is even worse than soccer, because there is no economies of scale for team costs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

she's bottom 1% for height, so she was understandably frustrated

I am one of the PPs with a competitive figure skater. I tried so hard to get her into team sports. She begged for skating lessons for a year before I signed her up (she was 7, which is late to start in the figure skating world). She loves it and is actually pretty talented despite not being good at team sports.

My daughter is in the bottom 5% for height. Figure skating loves tiny girls. My daughter's skating friends look 2-3 years younger than their actual age. It does not have to be intensely competitive - plenty of girls skate 2 to 3 times a week and compete recreationally or not at all. If you are looking for something team oriented, there is synchro and Theater on Ice. It is not Olympics or nothing.

It sounds like you are/your daughter is more interested in horseback riding, but if you have any questions about local rinks or how to get started with skating, please feel free to ask.

Op here. Yes would love to hear more about skating! Our local rink has a good ice hockey program, which is a terrible fit. So we do privates when every few weeks (different instructors/not a program/patchwork). She said she's like to do more, but I don't really know where to start. Thanks!

OP did you read my reply about riding once a week? Its on the last page. Don't listen to the Negative Nancy PP above

Yes, I did. Thank you! I think we will stick to weekly lessons (30 min per day). She loves them and it motivates her to do her chores. I will also do a horse camp. I'm inclined not to do more than that. Just driving out there alone is 2 hours RT, and that's with COVID level traffic.

If that's what you can do I think that's great! She will get something out of it even if she doesn't go to shows etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

she's bottom 1% for height, so she was understandably frustrated

I am one of the PPs with a competitive figure skater. I tried so hard to get her into team sports. She begged for skating lessons for a year before I signed her up (she was 7, which is late to start in the figure skating world). She loves it and is actually pretty talented despite not being good at team sports.

My daughter is in the bottom 5% for height. Figure skating loves tiny girls. My daughter's skating friends look 2-3 years younger than their actual age. It does not have to be intensely competitive - plenty of girls skate 2 to 3 times a week and compete recreationally or not at all. If you are looking for something team oriented, there is synchro and Theater on Ice. It is not Olympics or nothing.

It sounds like you are/your daughter is more interested in horseback riding, but if you have any questions about local rinks or how to get started with skating, please feel free to ask.

Op here. Yes would love to hear more about skating! Our local rink has a good ice hockey program, which is a terrible fit. So we do privates when every few weeks (different instructors/not a program/patchwork). She said she's like to do more, but I don't really know where to start. Thanks!

OP did you read my reply about riding once a week? Its on the last page. Don't listen to the Negative Nancy PP above

Yes, I did. Thank you! I think we will stick to weekly lessons (30 min per day). She loves them and it motivates her to do her chores. I will also do a horse camp. I'm inclined not to do more than that. Just driving out there alone is 2 hours RT, and that's with COVID level traffic.

OP, if she's really into it, she could go shadow a groom for a few hours at a top show. It would give her a sense of the work involved. I loved being a groom in my youth. There's always some riding, although not a lot and usually flatting at 5 am.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD rides and shows a bit. We partial-lease a horse. Our yearly cost is about $27,000. I think this is the bare minimum. The majority of the other girls at the barn own or full lease. We have told DD that we cannot afford more than this. She LOVES horses and has never complained and feels like she is part of the barn team and enjoys spending time there. In addition to the money, there is a lot of driving to the barn as well as shows, which are a full-day event in some faraway place.

That can feed a family for 2 years...crazy.

Skip the shows. Do not lease or own. Try to find a barn of kids that love horses but can't afford the fancy steeds and she will be happier. We had to search to find a solution. If all the other girls own fancy horses and are going to shows...it can be a real drag to not be doing that.

But that said..caring for and riding horses is a lot of fun if you can find the right spot. We had to drive a while into the country where land is cheaper to fin a place that could work.

Omg where do you live that a PARTIAL lease is that much? My partial lease is $350 per month and if I actually owned him board would be $750 per month.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

she's bottom 1% for height, so she was understandably frustrated

I am one of the PPs with a competitive figure skater. I tried so hard to get her into team sports. She begged for skating lessons for a year before I signed her up (she was 7, which is late to start in the figure skating world). She loves it and is actually pretty talented despite not being good at team sports.

My daughter is in the bottom 5% for height. Figure skating loves tiny girls. My daughter's skating friends look 2-3 years younger than their actual age. It does not have to be intensely competitive - plenty of girls skate 2 to 3 times a week and compete recreationally or not at all. If you are looking for something team oriented, there is synchro and Theater on Ice. It is not Olympics or nothing.

It sounds like you are/your daughter is more interested in horseback riding, but if you have any questions about local rinks or how to get started with skating, please feel free to ask.

Op here. Yes would love to hear more about skating! Our local rink has a good ice hockey program, which is a terrible fit. So we do privates when every few weeks (different instructors/not a program/patchwork). She said she's like to do more, but I don't really know where to start. Thanks!

OP did you read my reply about riding once a week? Its on the last page. Don't listen to the Negative Nancy PP above

Yes, I did. Thank you! I think we will stick to weekly lessons (30 min per day). She loves them and it motivates her to do her chores. I will also do a horse camp. I'm inclined not to do more than that. Just driving out there alone is 2 hours RT, and that's with COVID level traffic.

Anonymous wrote:DD rides and shows a bit. We partial-lease a horse. Our yearly cost is about $27,000. I think this is the bare minimum. The majority of the other girls at the barn own or full lease. We have told DD that we cannot afford more than this. She LOVES horses and has never complained and feels like she is part of the barn team and enjoys spending time there. In addition to the money, there is a lot of driving to the barn as well as shows, which are a full-day event in some faraway place.

That can feed a family for 2 years...crazy.

Skip the shows. Do not lease or own. Try to find a barn of kids that love horses but can't afford the fancy steeds and she will be happier. We had to search to find a solution. If all the other girls own fancy horses and are going to shows...it can be a real drag to not be doing that.

But that said..caring for and riding horses is a lot of fun if you can find the right spot. We had to drive a while into the country where land is cheaper to fin a place that could work.