Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pffffft to "hacks". The things that have made my life easier are:

1) Nanny instead of daycare
2) Cleaning lady
3) Grocery delivery
4) DH who does his fair share
5) Short commute (this meant giving up space, paying more $$$ for our home)

The only "hack" type thing I'd say is dry shampoo, ha!

I have not found this to be the case at all. We’ve had to switch to a nanny b/c the pandemic and I really miss my kids’ preschool. Now I’ve got extra people in my home all day generating extra commotion and wear and tear on my house, plus I have to provide paid leave/deal with taxes/pay for a workers comp policy, etc. We’ve gone through a couple in-home providers now and they each have their own issues (poor time management, not carrying out the activities I asked them to do, etc.). Maybe I haven’t found the perfect match, but I’ve talked to friends with similar issues. Honestly I find managing an employee to be a headache I don’t want. This has made me realize how much I never want to move into management!

Before covid we had a really nice montessori school a mile down the road that offered a nice meal plan. I could drop my kids for the day and they’d do really cool activities and crafts that I didn’t have to prepare for. It cost about as much as a nanny, but I think quality out of home care (esp if you work at home) is GOLDEN.

I think working at home with kids at home has changed this calculation for sure. But pre-pandemic, my kids' nanny would show up in the morning and my husband could just walk out the door, no matter what state they were in (I left for work before he did). After work I only had to get myself home and then there we were. No drive from our house somewhere else before or after work. No unpacking baby bag and doing laundry and washing bottles. No having to get kids dressed and fed in the morning. My best friend used a daycare and I used a nanny and I had it considerably easier than she did during those years. Yes, I had to manage someone (and I am also someone who hates being in charge of people), but a good nanny means you don't have to micromanage them, you certainly should not be cleaning up after them, and you don't ever have to worry when your kids are sick.

I could see how if you have a commute and weren’t at home all day then this could be convenient, especially for the baby years. But I’ve found my 3 and 4 year old just have so much energy and aren’t doing well at home. I realize the pandemic again changes the calculation b/c they can’t really go anywhere the way a nanny could arrange in normal times. But I also imagine the nanny’s ability to do laundry and various other kid-related chores gets harder as the kids get older and drop nap. So I think the advice to simplify by getting a nanny really applies to people working out of the home and who have kids under 3.

Personally I didn’t find daycare starting around 8 months to be that hard. We’ve always used a center-based meal plan though so I wasn’t dealing with packing anything except bottles and a spare set of clothes. Sure there are sick days to deal with, but nannies also get sick unexpectedly and require paid holidays. I find it stressful now having my entire childcare situation dependent upon one person.

I haven't gotten to the point of using timers but I know a lot of friends who do that for bedtime just to make bedtime less of a fight about everything.

one thing I've done that was probably one of my best parenting hacks of all time was I told my daughter early on that we are a two book family and we only read two books at night so that way we don't fight about how many books to read a bedtime or get into the one more book trap. (I have made a hearty exception for if she wants to read a book to me we can do a third book because I'm trying to motivate her to try reading now that she's five)

Books are a huge motivator for her so she understands if she doesn't brush her teeth or get into jammies by a certain time then she loses one of her stories

Get rid of all of your socks especially kids socks and restock let's say six pairs of black socks and six to 12 pairs of athletic socks that match. Same for gloves, they should all match. For little kids solid color bottoms and solid or patterned tops that all go together. Life is easier when you are not fishing around on a daily basis for matching clothes or socks.

Robots. iRobot vacuum and mop.

Yes, you have to pick up everything off your floor and it takes an hour to do something you could do with a Dyson stick in 15 minutes... so you also have to combine it with caring less and enjoying the "clean enough."

If you have kids, get them to do as much as possible. Even a 2 year old can help tidy up toys and put clothes in the laundry (you may have to check their work ;0) but importantly, they will get into the habit of helping).

My 5 year old knows to make his bed, change into his clothes, and put away PJs into laundry or on his bed before coming out of his room (except to use the bathroom and say good morning). This alone saves 10 minutes of haggling every morning, which is the old way we did things. He also knows to put his plate in the dishwasher or cover with fridge and to clean up the table, chair and under the table if there are crumbs. This is another 5 minutes at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He knows that there is no after-dinner cartoon if he hasn't tidied up his toys in the living room and play room. And so on. It took us a while to get to this place, but it's so worth it.

My other hack is just to get as much sleep as possible.

And finally, I try to do things faster. I take 5 minute showers, I get dressed in 2-3 minutes, and I try to move quickly if I'm cleaning up. Having enough sleep helps with this.

Anonymous wrote:I let the kids (4 and 6) watch TV during dinner, but before they get to watch TV, I insist they tidy the living room. My living room has never been tidier, and I don't have to lift a finger!

Sorry--not during dinner. During dinner PREP.

I let the kids (4 and 6) watch TV during dinner, but before they get to watch TV, I insist they tidy the living room. My living room has never been tidier, and I don't have to lift a finger!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pffffft to "hacks". The things that have made my life easier are:

1) Nanny instead of daycare
2) Cleaning lady
3) Grocery delivery
4) DH who does his fair share
5) Short commute (this meant giving up space, paying more $$$ for our home)

The only "hack" type thing I'd say is dry shampoo, ha!

I have not found this to be the case at all. We’ve had to switch to a nanny b/c the pandemic and I really miss my kids’ preschool. Now I’ve got extra people in my home all day generating extra commotion and wear and tear on my house, plus I have to provide paid leave/deal with taxes/pay for a workers comp policy, etc. We’ve gone through a couple in-home providers now and they each have their own issues (poor time management, not carrying out the activities I asked them to do, etc.). Maybe I haven’t found the perfect match, but I’ve talked to friends with similar issues. Honestly I find managing an employee to be a headache I don’t want. This has made me realize how much I never want to move into management!

Before covid we had a really nice montessori school a mile down the road that offered a nice meal plan. I could drop my kids for the day and they’d do really cool activities and crafts that I didn’t have to prepare for. It cost about as much as a nanny, but I think quality out of home care (esp if you work at home) is GOLDEN.

I think working at home with kids at home has changed this calculation for sure. But pre-pandemic, my kids' nanny would show up in the morning and my husband could just walk out the door, no matter what state they were in (I left for work before he did). After work I only had to get myself home and then there we were. No drive from our house somewhere else before or after work. No unpacking baby bag and doing laundry and washing bottles. No having to get kids dressed and fed in the morning. My best friend used a daycare and I used a nanny and I had it considerably easier than she did during those years. Yes, I had to manage someone (and I am also someone who hates being in charge of people), but a good nanny means you don't have to micromanage them, you certainly should not be cleaning up after them, and you don't ever have to worry when your kids are sick.

Anonymous wrote:Pffffft to "hacks". The things that have made my life easier are:

1) Nanny instead of daycare
2) Cleaning lady
3) Grocery delivery
4) DH who does his fair share
5) Short commute (this meant giving up space, paying more $$$ for our home)

The only "hack" type thing I'd say is dry shampoo, ha!

I have not found this to be the case at all. We’ve had to switch to a nanny b/c the pandemic and I really miss my kids’ preschool. Now I’ve got extra people in my home all day generating extra commotion and wear and tear on my house, plus I have to provide paid leave/deal with taxes/pay for a workers comp policy, etc. We’ve gone through a couple in-home providers now and they each have their own issues (poor time management, not carrying out the activities I asked them to do, etc.). Maybe I haven’t found the perfect match, but I’ve talked to friends with similar issues. Honestly I find managing an employee to be a headache I don’t want. This has made me realize how much I never want to move into management!

Before covid we had a really nice montessori school a mile down the road that offered a nice meal plan. I could drop my kids for the day and they’d do really cool activities and crafts that I didn’t have to prepare for. It cost about as much as a nanny, but I think quality out of home care (esp if you work at home) is GOLDEN.

Anonymous wrote:I shop for everything on one day (only have some things delivered) and do prep, like slicing onions. I make a giant salad for snacking in the fridge and give everyone decoy food so I can have the kitchen in peace.

The next day I cook everything and freeze the majority (anything that wouldn't be eaten in the next 1.5days. A lot of sauces taste better when left overnight. Day 1&2 is also when I usually make things that are fast, like tzatziki.

I have a collection of stasher bags in our freezer with things like peanut satay sauce that make for super easy dinners when nobody feels like doing serious cooking. Same with freezing pizza dough or chili.

Intriguing! Please tell me more about decoy food

I shop for everything on one day (only have some things delivered) and do prep, like slicing onions. I make a giant salad for snacking in the fridge and give everyone decoy food so I can have the kitchen in peace.

The next day I cook everything and freeze the majority (anything that wouldn't be eaten in the next 1.5days. A lot of sauces taste better when left overnight. Day 1&2 is also when I usually make things that are fast, like tzatziki.

I have a collection of stasher bags in our freezer with things like peanut satay sauce that make for super easy dinners when nobody feels like doing serious cooking. Same with freezing pizza dough or chili.

Do you have a friend or neighbor to trade kids with every Saturday or Sunday for 3-4 hours? You would have two kids one saturday, your friend would have two kids the next. Since you are a single mom with no family help this might give you a real break.

Also do a power hour once a week to take care of the annoying stuff that piles up but that you never want to do (for me, thats submitting receipts for medical claim reimbursements, calling the DMV, etc.). Just have one hour a week where you knock (some) of that stuff out.

And yeah touch once. If something tkaes a minute just do it.

Meallime app for meals - you can do a whole weeks meals planning by the pictures, and then have it all sent to one grocery list.
Sock drawer - I have a bunch of kids and sorting laundry is a nightmare. All socks go into one drawer downstairs and the kids pick through the socks to find which ones they want to wear. Same for gloves and hats during the winter and swim gear during the summer.

Alexa grocery shopping list

Use her bath time to either 1) clean your sink/toilet/bathroom floor or 2) fold laundry (have clean laundry in one basket and place folded laundry into another basket—assuming you have room for both baskets or 3) read her books so bedtime is a shorter affair.

I would also cook a big batch of something every weekend, portion it out and label it well and freeze it. After a few weeks you’ll have a rotation of meals in your freezer to pull out. Even if she doesn’t eat it, you can have it and serve her a bit of whatever it is with some fruit and cheese so it feels like you’re all sharing, but you know it’s pretty much for you.