Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 20:26     Subject: Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If my spouse suddenly developed obesity and sleep apnea especially after a huge life change like going from a service member to a SAHP of two little kids, I would honestly be forcing him/her to see a medical professional.


OP again. She's collecting disability for her sleep apnea so she doesn't feel a need to address this. She makes excuses about not going to the gym because of the kids so I just don't push her anymore.


Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 20:23     Subject: Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
Anonymous wrote:If OP were a woman the freezer would be stocked weekly with casseroles for her husband to heat each night. But since he’s a a man he just wants to make demands and not assign work to himself. SMH.


Certainly effing NOT. I am a woman and if I were working full time with a SAH husband cooking would absolutely be his responsibility, and I have a DH who doesn't cook. He would have to learn. As it is, we both work and I cook because it is how I relax, but if he were home all day? No way. I don't get people jumping on the OP, if you don't work, cooking is part of the job description. It doesn't have to be fancy, but it takes no time to make a sheet pan dinner, throw some meat, some veg, and potatoes on a pan. Boil water for pasta and some more to steam some veggies. It might not be the best, but it can be nutritious and is perfectly fine for kids. Living 'Fast Food Nation' in your own home is ridiculous. Of course, he should help some in some way (maybe ordering groceries delivered?) but the SAH person needs to do the bulk of the cooking, at least for the kids.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 20:23     Subject: Re:Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Little people don't eat that much, and you can feed the kids separately. I suggest going grocery shopping as a family. Little kids will always eat fruit. There's your side for all meals. My kids always ate broccoli florets. One meal my kids raved about that is so easy: Pepperidge Farm pastry shells with sliced grilled chicken and some cream of chicken soup on top. Get the already sliced grilled chicken in the meat department. Work with her to get a decent meal together and then thank her and give her credit for the effort. See if you can get the 4 year old interested in how cooking works. I think she's being passive aggressive with the trips to Burger King, but you've got to support her and not be mansplaining.


Is this meant to be a healthy meal? It sounds atrocious.


OK Gordon Ramsay
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 20:01     Subject: Re:Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
Anonymous wrote:I would start cooking the main meal of the day at lunchtime, many Europeans do this.


I've been doing this during COVID since everyone's home and mornings are super quiet at my job. Eating a big lunch together gives everyone's eyes a break from the screens and some time to connect. For dinner, it's lighter fare---we do a lot of salads and if we had something like roast chicken at lunch, we'll put that on the salad.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 19:59     Subject: Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
Either you need to teach her how to cook simple things or take over the cooking.

There are many things one can make easily. Chili in the crockpot on a Sunday can last for a few days. Same with a big thing of soup.

It’s also possible she’s dealing with a fast food addiction — that food can be literally addictive. If so, she needs to work with a professional to wean herself off of it.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 19:56     Subject: Re:Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
I would start cooking the main meal of the day at lunchtime, many Europeans do this.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 19:20     Subject: Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you do for a living? Has she expressed a desire to work?


OP again. My wife decided it was time to retire after a lengthy deployment. She has no desire to work. I am okay with that but she needs to cook real food.


“She needs to cook real food.”

Honestly I think a lot of people in your partners situation wouldn’t want to cook either. With your attitude it sounds like maybe nothing is good enough. Do you find fault with her in a lot of areas of her life? If a partner is hypercritical, sometimes it’s easier to give up than try and risk not being good enough.


There’s a vast gray area between eating fast food every night and cordon bleu cookery. His wife needs to explore this area.


Crockpot meals, premade simmer sauces, frozen pasta meals, sheet pan meals, four-ingredient cookbook recipes, pre-made sides (bagged salad, mashed potatoes from the deli aisle, etc.), all fit in this category.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 19:19     Subject: Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t know how to cook. A cookbook doesn’t teach you how to cook.


Np. If you can read and follow instructions than you can cook.


Sorry op if you wife doesnt want to cook it is difficult to make her. I would cook on the weekends enough for the week if you really want the kids to eat right


I’m an excellent cook and I don’t think this is true. It takes a lot of instinct/skill.


Pp this is how my dh learned how to cook. May not be true for you but it was for us!


And me too


I was a really good cook until my kids started eating (I was still a good cook in the breastfeeding stage). But coming up with three meals a day for kids and adults is so different. I am a way worse cook after becoming a stay at home parent. Everybody is different.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 19:17     Subject: Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
If OP were a woman the freezer would be stocked weekly with casseroles for her husband to heat each night. But since he’s a a man he just wants to make demands and not assign work to himself. SMH.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 19:15     Subject: Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DW retired from the military and is now staying at home with our two kids -1 and 4yo. I work the night shift at my job so I’m not home for dinner. Instead of cooking at home, she will take the trouble of driving to McDonalds or BK and get fast food instead. If she does cook, it’s Mac and cheese or spaghetti with pasta sauce. No variation and it’s not healthy for our kids. She isn’t healthy either, being in her early 40s and suffering from sleep apnea due to obesity. She says “I don’t know what to cook” so I bought her a cookbook weeks ago but she is visiting the drive-thru as I post this. She grew up on a farm in the Midwest and yet doesn’t like vegetables. She refuses to learn how to use the instantpot and takes the trouble of ordering fries, burgers, and nuggets when she could be cooking real food at home. I’m shaking my head. If you’ve faced this at home, how did you manage?


Who is obese in the military? I call troll.


Nobody, especially if they qualified for a lengthy deployment. There are strict height/weight/fitness standards.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 19:14     Subject: Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you do for a living? Has she expressed a desire to work?


OP again. My wife decided it was time to retire after a lengthy deployment. She has no desire to work. I am okay with that but she needs to cook real food.


But what do you do for a living?


This is a ridiculous comeback. So if OP is a surgeon, then he gets to complain but if he's blue-collar he can't? It doesn't matter what OP's line of work is as long as he is providing for his family. If he works nights that means he needs to sleep during the day.


It's not a comeback, it's a legit question to better understand what changes they can make.

Also, income does matter, don't pretend it doesn't. The surgeon has more income to use to fix this problem and outsource than the factory worker does.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 19:10     Subject: Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t know how to cook. A cookbook doesn’t teach you how to cook.


Np. If you can read and follow instructions than you can cook.


Sorry op if you wife doesnt want to cook it is difficult to make her. I would cook on the weekends enough for the week if you really want the kids to eat right


I’m an excellent cook and I don’t think this is true. It takes a lot of instinct/skill.


Pp this is how my dh learned how to cook. May not be true for you but it was for us!


And me too
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 19:09     Subject: Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t know how to cook. A cookbook doesn’t teach you how to cook.


Np. If you can read and follow instructions than you can cook.


Sorry op if you wife doesnt want to cook it is difficult to make her. I would cook on the weekends enough for the week if you really want the kids to eat right


I’m an excellent cook and I don’t think this is true. It takes a lot of instinct/skill.


Pp this is how my dh learned how to cook. May not be true for you but it was for us!
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 19:05     Subject: Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t know how to cook. A cookbook doesn’t teach you how to cook.


Np. If you can read and follow instructions than you can cook.


Sorry op if you wife doesnt want to cook it is difficult to make her. I would cook on the weekends enough for the week if you really want the kids to eat right


I’m an excellent cook and I don’t think this is true. It takes a lot of instinct/skill.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 19:02     Subject: Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end
OP, your lack of respect for your wife is worst for them than fast food. My mom raised me on fast food and I am now healthy. I cook (thanks to cooking with my dad), I exercise, and I eat well. The way I eat can change. The way my parents treated other cannot.