I'm betting he just wanted to spoil you give you something nice because you aren't the type to spoil yourself. You always talk yourself out of it for the more "practical option".

He got it from the same place you got your ring, that to me doesn't say I'm a selfish a-hole out o piss, my wife, off and only think of myself.

She never said that they couldn’t afford the gift, she said the money could be used for other things that she seemed important. She didn’t say that it was the earrings or putting food on the table. I am going to take a bet that the couple never agreed or discussed the financial priorities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. You (OP) are super annoying and I hope he divorces you for a younger woman who isn’t such a shrew.

So he got you a gift that isn’t your favorite and wouldn’t have been your choice. So what. Whether it’s his own male pride or his mom liked diamonds or he got duped by a commercial, so what. It’s an expression of love. And you’re being an ugly, ungrateful, disloyal wife by having such an attitude.

I have NEVER gotten angry or upset about the failings of a GIFT. And many of them have sucked. I’m sure you’ve given and done tons of things that your DH didn’t want or need, barely wanted or needed, or in fact affirmatively did not want and did not need. So the F what. If you love someone you smile and move on. God you suck so bad.

It’s not the “failings of a gift.” It’s her husband’s failure to hear her and respect her wishes and needs and instead bulldoze over her to do what he wants. If you don’t see that, then you are the one that sucks so bad, not OP.

Receiving a gift is not ordering off a menu, unless you’re a hooker or have an onlyfans account.

Exsctly, op sounds like a control freak who can’t let her husband have free will. op doesn’t have to like the present, but she also doesn’t have to punish her husband for trying to do something nice. It just isn’t going to work out well in the long run.

+1 I bet the divorce rate is high with some of these posters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is her money too, and he just wasted a ton of it.

The worst part is that she told him she did not want this present.

Were the earrings supposed to impress others?

I would return them and get the ring you want or save the credit for future jewelry for your children’s wedding or graduation.

Returning a gift like this is incredibly tacky and ungracious.

He spent FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS of their SHARED money for something he asked repeatedly, and was told repeatedly, she didn't want.

No, it is not tacky and ungracious. Next time instead of blowing that much on a gift for his own ego, he should actually try listening to his life partner and thinking about what SHE wants.

It seems pretty clear he thought she would like them because she has fake diamond earring that she wears. Clearly he was mistaken, but you seems to have issues with men generally. Your theory that he gave them to her for “his ego” is just flat out wacky,

+1 There are some women on this thread who really appear to be difficult and not very appreciative, unless they get exactly what they want.

Anonymous wrote:I can't get over how unappreciative some of you are! Everything doesn't have to be practical, planned, and requested by you. I love receiving special, surprise gifts that my husband has picked out. We both do that.

That's fine for you but OP doesn't want this gift. It would be perfect for me but she hates it and more importantly had told her spouse several times that this specific gift is something she didn't want. Now the money is spent and it can't be returned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is her money too, and he just wasted a ton of it.

The worst part is that she told him she did not want this present.

Were the earrings supposed to impress others?

I would return them and get the ring you want or save the credit for future jewelry for your children’s wedding or graduation.

Returning a gift like this is incredibly tacky and ungracious.

He spent FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS of their SHARED money for something he asked repeatedly, and was told repeatedly, she didn't want.

No, it is not tacky and ungracious. Next time instead of blowing that much on a gift for his own ego, he should actually try listening to his life partner and thinking about what SHE wants.

It seems pretty clear he thought she would like them because she has fake diamond earring that she wears. Clearly he was mistaken, but you seems to have issues with men generally. Your theory that he gave them to her for “his ego” is just flat out wacky,

He was not "mistaken." Once again for the slow people in the back, he ASKED her repeatedly if she would want them and she TOLD him repeatedly no, she would not. So yes, it's for his ego.

No problems with men -- happily married to a man who actually listens when he asks me questions. Thanks for your faux concern, though, MRA.

Yes, you sound super happy.

Yup. That one’s as dry as a moonless prairie night.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is her money too, and he just wasted a ton of it.

The worst part is that she told him she did not want this present.

Were the earrings supposed to impress others?

I would return them and get the ring you want or save the credit for future jewelry for your children’s wedding or graduation.

Returning a gift like this is incredibly tacky and ungracious.

He spent FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS of their SHARED money for something he asked repeatedly, and was told repeatedly, she didn't want.

No, it is not tacky and ungracious. Next time instead of blowing that much on a gift for his own ego, he should actually try listening to his life partner and thinking about what SHE wants.

It seems pretty clear he thought she would like them because she has fake diamond earring that she wears. Clearly he was mistaken, but you seems to have issues with men generally. Your theory that he gave them to her for “his ego” is just flat out wacky,

He was not "mistaken." Once again for the slow people in the back, he ASKED her repeatedly if she would want them and she TOLD him repeatedly no, she would not. So yes, it's for his ego.

No problems with men -- happily married to a man who actually listens when he asks me questions. Thanks for your faux concern, though, MRA.

Yes, you sound super happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is her money too, and he just wasted a ton of it.

The worst part is that she told him she did not want this present.

Were the earrings supposed to impress others?

I would return them and get the ring you want or save the credit for future jewelry for your children’s wedding or graduation.

Returning a gift like this is incredibly tacky and ungracious.

He spent FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS of their SHARED money for something he asked repeatedly, and was told repeatedly, she didn't want.

No, it is not tacky and ungracious. Next time instead of blowing that much on a gift for his own ego, he should actually try listening to his life partner and thinking about what SHE wants.

It seems pretty clear he thought she would like them because she has fake diamond earring that she wears. Clearly he was mistaken, but you seems to have issues with men generally. Your theory that he gave them to her for “his ego” is just flat out wacky,

He was not "mistaken." Once again for the slow people in the back, he ASKED her repeatedly if she would want them and she TOLD him repeatedly no, she would not. So yes, it's for his ego.

No problems with men -- happily married to a man who actually listens when he asks me questions. Thanks for your faux concern, though, MRA.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is her money too, and he just wasted a ton of it.

The worst part is that she told him she did not want this present.

Were the earrings supposed to impress others?

I would return them and get the ring you want or save the credit for future jewelry for your children’s wedding or graduation.

Returning a gift like this is incredibly tacky and ungracious.

He spent FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS of their SHARED money for something he asked repeatedly, and was told repeatedly, she didn't want.

No, it is not tacky and ungracious. Next time instead of blowing that much on a gift for his own ego, he should actually try listening to his life partner and thinking about what SHE wants.

It seems pretty clear he thought she would like them because she has fake diamond earring that she wears. Clearly he was mistaken, but you seems to have issues with men generally. Your theory that he gave them to her for “his ego” is just flat out wacky,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is her money too, and he just wasted a ton of it.

The worst part is that she told him she did not want this present.

Were the earrings supposed to impress others?

I would return them and get the ring you want or save the credit for future jewelry for your children’s wedding or graduation.

Returning a gift like this is incredibly tacky and ungracious.

He spent FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS of their SHARED money for something he asked repeatedly, and was told repeatedly, she didn't want.

No, it is not tacky and ungracious. Next time instead of blowing that much on a gift for his own ego, he should actually try listening to his life partner and thinking about what SHE wants.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would also be mad, but I am cheap and practical. He spent $5,000 in jointly owned funds on something she specifically said she didn't want and that cannot be returned. Since they can't be returned, I guess your only option is to sell them (likely at a loss), regift them, have them made into another piece of jewelry that you like better, or wear them occasionally.

It's just a waste. The gift is not all about the giver. She was clear this is something she wasn't interested in and he bought something for himself. Toss 'em in the safe deposit box and forget about them for the next 20 years. Maybe a daughter will have different taste and they can be a college graduation present.

AKA OP has trash taste and her DH was trying to give her at least a thin veneer of class, which she rejected. He’ll find it elsewhere.

Lol. They're diamond studs! Every basic bitch has a pair of these and most have lost one at one time or another. They don't shout "class" in any meaningful way. Maybe she wanted something unique? A lot of people with class want something more than a generic pair of studs and don't value that check the box kind of gift thing at all. Hence why fakes are fine, no one can tell and it is one option of many.

I don’t think op has to worry about her dh trying to surprise her with a romantic, extravagant gift in the future, so mission accomplished I guess. But at what cost to the relationship? All you care about is whether op got her way.

I don't care if OP "got her way." I am saying he got his way with the gift. If this were me, I would just not wear them. The same way I would not wear a 1.5 carat round diamond engagement ring if I had mentioned I wanted a colored stone. Or if I don't wear a watch ever and DH thinks I should own one that costs 10k and is hot pink. In mature relationships, this is usually ironed out on a more low-stakes level early on with gifts. I guess he didn't learn that lesson? There doesn't have to be a "cost to the relationship" if you're not nasty about it. Just say thank you, they're beautiful, and them disappear them. If he asks, "well, I told you that was something I wouldn't want so I am holding onto them safely for someone who might appreciate them or if I change my mind." Basically, his communication sucks because OP should not have been put in this position.

The part where she told him repeatedly she didn’t want diamond earrings? Either he doesn’t listen or knew she didn’t want them but for some mysterious reason bought them anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would also be mad, but I am cheap and practical. He spent $5,000 in jointly owned funds on something she specifically said she didn't want and that cannot be returned. Since they can't be returned, I guess your only option is to sell them (likely at a loss), regift them, have them made into another piece of jewelry that you like better, or wear them occasionally.

It's just a waste. The gift is not all about the giver. She was clear this is something she wasn't interested in and he bought something for himself. Toss 'em in the safe deposit box and forget about them for the next 20 years. Maybe a daughter will have different taste and they can be a college graduation present.

AKA OP has trash taste and her DH was trying to give her at least a thin veneer of class, which she rejected. He’ll find it elsewhere.

Lol. They're diamond studs! Every basic bitch has a pair of these and most have lost one at one time or another. They don't shout "class" in any meaningful way. Maybe she wanted something unique? A lot of people with class want something more than a generic pair of studs and don't value that check the box kind of gift thing at all. Hence why fakes are fine, no one can tell and it is one option of many.

I don’t think op has to worry about her dh trying to surprise her with a romantic, extravagant gift in the future, so mission accomplished I guess. But at what cost to the relationship? All you care about is whether op got her way.

Oh the gold allergy story is insane!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would also be mad, but I am cheap and practical. He spent $5,000 in jointly owned funds on something she specifically said she didn't want and that cannot be returned. Since they can't be returned, I guess your only option is to sell them (likely at a loss), regift them, have them made into another piece of jewelry that you like better, or wear them occasionally.

It's just a waste. The gift is not all about the giver. She was clear this is something she wasn't interested in and he bought something for himself. Toss 'em in the safe deposit box and forget about them for the next 20 years. Maybe a daughter will have different taste and they can be a college graduation present.

AKA OP has trash taste and her DH was trying to give her at least a thin veneer of class, which she rejected. He’ll find it elsewhere.

Lol. They're diamond studs! Every basic bitch has a pair of these and most have lost one at one time or another. They don't shout "class" in any meaningful way. Maybe she wanted something unique? A lot of people with class want something more than a generic pair of studs and don't value that check the box kind of gift thing at all. Hence why fakes are fine, no one can tell and it is one option of many.