Anonymous
Post 11/23/2020 21:32     Subject: CPS Investigation
Anonymous wrote:I had a hospital coerce us into what ended up being unnecessary medical care for our child by threatening us with a CPS call.

The hospital was hurting for revenue, very understaffed and the only pediatric specialist we saw was extremely condescending and was not explaining the proposed medical procedures. They refused to let us transfer via ambulance to another hospital 2 min away so we could get a 2nd opinion.

It was the worst experience of my life. I spoke with the patient advocate and several lawyers but ultimately didn't end up suing.

This happens waaay more than people realize. If it can happen to educated wealthy white people, you better believe there are innocent families torn apart by the strong arm tactics and threats of CPS investigations.


No, there aren't innocent families torn apart by the CPS. I volunteer through my church with kids in foster care, and the kids that are removed from their homes come from very, very, very bad situations. You hear overdoses in front of the kids, babies born addicted to heroin, syringes in a toddlers' hands, DUI accidents at 10 am but never Larla fell in the playground. The reality is opioid abuse is still raging and taking a terrible toll on kids.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2020 21:31     Subject: CPS Investigation
Anonymous wrote:CPS was called on my sister because she wasn't dressing my niece properly for school.

They were right. My sister wasn't putting warm enough clothing on my niece or giving her jackets.

My sister is bipolar and a terrible parent. I'm glad someone called CPS.

The children were never removed from the home. And my sister started buying them some d-mn clothes.

Not all CPS stories are horror stories.

Though whoever was concerned would have been kinder to give her a jacket instead of calling CPS.


Whoever called was probably a mandatory reporter. I would also guess the reporter had a good idea that this wasn't a situation that would be fixed by providing a coat.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2020 21:26     Subject: Re:CPS Investigation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am scared of this too. You guys should all read “small animals:parenting in the age of fear”. These days someone will call CPS on you if you let your kid out of your sight. I definitely helicopter more than I would because I’m scared of someone calling cps and having my kid taken away, rather than kid stranger danger. Most foster homes are not safe either, so if you are falsely accused there is a good chance of your child being abused or traumatized.


Most foster homes ARE safe, PP. Not that I would want my kid in one, of course, but what you are saying is simply not true and it perpetuates a scary lie. Moreover, CPS is more likely to place a child with a relative if there is one willing to do it. It would still be a terrible situation, I realize.


Not only are many foster homes, especially the ones that accept older children, not safe but 70% of the foster kids end up dropping out of high school.


+1. It’s tragic the amount of sexual abuse that occurs in a lot of foster homes too. There are exceptions, but there are more bad news stories than good.


Where is this data from?
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2020 21:24     Subject: Re:CPS Investigation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am scared of this too. You guys should all read “small animals:parenting in the age of fear”. These days someone will call CPS on you if you let your kid out of your sight. I definitely helicopter more than I would because I’m scared of someone calling cps and having my kid taken away, rather than kid stranger danger. Most foster homes are not safe either, so if you are falsely accused there is a good chance of your child being abused or traumatized.


Most foster homes ARE safe, PP. Not that I would want my kid in one, of course, but what you are saying is simply not true and it perpetuates a scary lie. Moreover, CPS is more likely to place a child with a relative if there is one willing to do it. It would still be a terrible situation, I realize.


Not only are many foster homes, especially the ones that accept older children, not safe but 70% of the foster kids end up dropping out of high school.

Your logic is seriously flawed. The 70% not finishing high school doesn’t mean the foster homes were dangerous. These are kids experiencing trauma throughout their lives. I’m not arguing that all foster homes are safe, but most are.


Agree with PP. Especially in NOVA/MOCO.
And it makes me sad that someone would babble about foster home without the slightest knowledge of how the system works. Like PP said, foster homes are not the first choice. CPS will find a relative or fictive kin to place the child with. If that is not possible, then they will find a foster home. The foster home and the child is visited by the social worker(s), the guardian ad litem, the CASA worker every month. Please look into the thing you are criticizing before talking about it. Without the DFS/foster families all the children victims of abuse and neglect would be left in serious danger.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2020 21:16     Subject: CPS Investigation
The CPS has its hands full with actual, bad abuse situations and they are (in my experience) very good at weeding out the unnecessary calls from true emergencies. They will not take your child away from you if you are a normal parent whose home does not seem to pose a risk. Even in the cases where they do remove children (substance abuse/neglect etc.) their first priority is reuniting the family.
I've been a foster parent and I think Fairfax CPS/DFS have mostly great social workers.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2020 20:42     Subject: Re:CPS Investigation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am scared of this too. You guys should all read “small animals:parenting in the age of fear”. These days someone will call CPS on you if you let your kid out of your sight. I definitely helicopter more than I would because I’m scared of someone calling cps and having my kid taken away, rather than kid stranger danger. Most foster homes are not safe either, so if you are falsely accused there is a good chance of your child being abused or traumatized.


Most foster homes ARE safe, PP. Not that I would want my kid in one, of course, but what you are saying is simply not true and it perpetuates a scary lie. Moreover, CPS is more likely to place a child with a relative if there is one willing to do it. It would still be a terrible situation, I realize.


Not only are many foster homes, especially the ones that accept older children, not safe but 70% of the foster kids end up dropping out of high school.

Your logic is seriously flawed. The 70% not finishing high school doesn’t mean the foster homes were dangerous. These are kids experiencing trauma throughout their lives. I’m not arguing that all foster homes are safe, but most are.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2020 20:25     Subject: Re:CPS Investigation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We were investigated by CPS. My older child lied in school and the counselor reported. Thankfully we were acquitted. One of the worst days of my life when that door bell rang.. I don’t think I have ever cried so much. I don’t blame CPS or the counselor, just the child - and I remind her from time to time so she will NEVER come up with this little stunt again.

She is very embarrassed when we mention and don’t like us to tell other people about our experience.


Maybe you weren't engaged in child abuse before that...but now you are!


How is the first pp engaged in child abuse?
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2020 17:04     Subject: Re:CPS Investigation
Anonymous wrote:We were investigated by CPS. My older child lied in school and the counselor reported. Thankfully we were acquitted. One of the worst days of my life when that door bell rang.. I don’t think I have ever cried so much. I don’t blame CPS or the counselor, just the child - and I remind her from time to time so she will NEVER come up with this little stunt again.

She is very embarrassed when we mention and don’t like us to tell other people about our experience.


Maybe you weren't engaged in child abuse before that...but now you are!
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2020 17:02     Subject: Re:CPS Investigation
Anonymous wrote:We were investigated by CPS. My older child lied in school and the counselor reported. Thankfully we were acquitted. One of the worst days of my life when that door bell rang.. I don’t think I have ever cried so much. I don’t blame CPS or the counselor, just the child - and I remind her from time to time so she will NEVER come up with this little stunt again.

She is very embarrassed when we mention and don’t like us to tell other people about our experience.


is this story supposed to garner sympathy for you as a parent? Because you sound awful.
No wonder your child told such an attention seeking lie.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2020 16:59     Subject: Re:CPS Investigation
We were investigated by CPS. My older child lied in school and the counselor reported. Thankfully we were acquitted. One of the worst days of my life when that door bell rang.. I don’t think I have ever cried so much. I don’t blame CPS or the counselor, just the child - and I remind her from time to time so she will NEVER come up with this little stunt again.

She is very embarrassed when we mention and don’t like us to tell other people about our experience.
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2020 20:46     Subject: CPS Investigation
Anonymous wrote:I had a hospital coerce us into what ended up being unnecessary medical care for our child by threatening us with a CPS call.

The hospital was hurting for revenue, very understaffed and the only pediatric specialist we saw was extremely condescending and was not explaining the proposed medical procedures. They refused to let us transfer via ambulance to another hospital 2 min away so we could get a 2nd opinion.

It was the worst experience of my life. I spoke with the patient advocate and several lawyers but ultimately didn't end up suing.

This happens waaay more than people realize. If it can happen to educated wealthy white people, you better believe there are innocent families torn apart by the strong arm tactics and threats of CPS investigations.


wow what was it - a CT scan or xray? I am super conservative about those, and I can totally see that happen to me. That’s partly why I have only gone to Childrens for specialist or emergency care, because they are smart enough to realize that I’m an informed parent, not a negligent one.
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2020 20:35     Subject: CPS Investigation
I had a hospital coerce us into what ended up being unnecessary medical care for our child by threatening us with a CPS call.

The hospital was hurting for revenue, very understaffed and the only pediatric specialist we saw was extremely condescending and was not explaining the proposed medical procedures. They refused to let us transfer via ambulance to another hospital 2 min away so we could get a 2nd opinion.

It was the worst experience of my life. I spoke with the patient advocate and several lawyers but ultimately didn't end up suing.

This happens waaay more than people realize. If it can happen to educated wealthy white people, you better believe there are innocent families torn apart by the strong arm tactics and threats of CPS investigations.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2020 20:55     Subject: Re:CPS Investigation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am scared of this too. You guys should all read “small animals:parenting in the age of fear”. These days someone will call CPS on you if you let your kid out of your sight. I definitely helicopter more than I would because I’m scared of someone calling cps and having my kid taken away, rather than kid stranger danger. Most foster homes are not safe either, so if you are falsely accused there is a good chance of your child being abused or traumatized.


Most foster homes ARE safe, PP. Not that I would want my kid in one, of course, but what you are saying is simply not true and it perpetuates a scary lie. Moreover, CPS is more likely to place a child with a relative if there is one willing to do it. It would still be a terrible situation, I realize.


Not only are many foster homes, especially the ones that accept older children, not safe but 70% of the foster kids end up dropping out of high school.


+1. It’s tragic the amount of sexual abuse that occurs in a lot of foster homes too. There are exceptions, but there are more bad news stories than good.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2020 20:43     Subject: CPS Investigation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have had one friend get investigated. Kid was a daredevil and unfortunately wound up with 3 sets of stitches and a broken arm over the course of 4 months. The process for her was not too painful.

As a mandated reporter, I have called CPS once when I found out in the end it wasn't abuse. I feel bad that the family had to go through the process, but I've also reported times when it was abuse. I'd rather be safe than sorry.


Families that have cps called and it turns out to be false should be able to pursue legal remedies against the person who called and lied. If it were me in that situation I wouldn’t rest until I got some sort of revenge against the person that called.


So in the cases where a child has falsely alleged abuse by a parent, you suggest the parents take legal action and seek revenge on their child? That sounds like a great plan! You do realize that mandated reporters can lose their jobs - or worse - for not calling CPS when minors report, right? We are not allowed to investigate or really even ask too many questions, and by law, we are required to report.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2020 19:22     Subject: Re:CPS Investigation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am scared of this too. You guys should all read “small animals:parenting in the age of fear”. These days someone will call CPS on you if you let your kid out of your sight. I definitely helicopter more than I would because I’m scared of someone calling cps and having my kid taken away, rather than kid stranger danger. Most foster homes are not safe either, so if you are falsely accused there is a good chance of your child being abused or traumatized.


Most foster homes ARE safe, PP. Not that I would want my kid in one, of course, but what you are saying is simply not true and it perpetuates a scary lie. Moreover, CPS is more likely to place a child with a relative if there is one willing to do it. It would still be a terrible situation, I realize.


Not only are many foster homes, especially the ones that accept older children, not safe but 70% of the foster kids end up dropping out of high school.