Anonymous wrote:22 years married, 24 years together. Still a few times per week. We are both still very fit and toned.

Are you implying that only fit and toned people can have healthy sex lives? I bet you $1,000 he’s cheating on you anyways...

OP, I would expect the answer for many is "yes", else I'd be disappointed in my own circumstance for absolutely no reason!

Oops I hit publish too soon. I don't think women should force themselves to have sex with their husbands when they don't want to, but figuring out how to be a fun and flirty and active participant in the relationship is on both partner's shoulders. You should be caring for the other person too, but also trying to make sure you are present and engaged in loving them.

The people I know who aren't having sex also aren't dating, aren't casually hugging each other, they don't seem INTO each other so to speak. Even when I'm not engaged in like, sex or foreplay with my husband, we are very physically affectionate and loving to one another. Sex is a symptom of where your relationship is otherwise, not the cause, at least IMHO

I'm 36, have three kids (5/3/1), married 8 years, together 11.

I think our sex life is better than its ever been. We know each other now and are older and I'm more able to communicate what I want and he's more comfortable trying different things. We're once a weekers but its hardly ever a quickie, and when we were on vacation a few months ago we did it like 5 times! That was a lot haha. I think that lust fades if not cultivated and that women really do need to put work into making sure the gears of the factory don't stop turning.

And I am not saying that to be like, women should force themselves how to have sex with their wives. But like,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? I always feel these threads have people rushing in to claim that they still do it 3 times a day after being together for 30 years.

It’s always the people who have been together 20+ yrs and still having sex multiple times a week with kids, teens, in the house. Well good for them. But I talk to my ob-gyn about this, she tells me most of her post menopausal patients tell her that if they never had sex again, they’ll be fine and don’t care. . . . . Lust doesn’t stay for 10+ yrs. Normal.

That is not normal. Zero libido in a marriage is unhealthy.

Don’t these women realize they have an untreated medical condition which is toxic to marriages?

Fortunately there are prescription medications for this illness (lack of libido in women). Your Ob/Gyn should be able to advise them and prescribe an approved treatment to help get back to normal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? I always feel these threads have people rushing in to claim that they still do it 3 times a day after being together for 30 years.

It’s always the people who have been together 20+ yrs and still having sex multiple times a week with kids, teens, in the house. Well good for them. But I talk to my ob-gyn about this, she tells me most of her post menopausal patients tell her that if they never had sex again, they’ll be fine and don’t care. Most women after a certain age do it mostly to keep their DH happy if they do it at all. Lust doesn’t stay for 10+ yrs. Normal.

Yep, this. I have a close group of friends and we talk about these things and only one of them says she still enjoys having sex with DH but mostly on vacations.

Yep, this. Explains why most of my (a guy) married friends are cheating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? I always feel these threads have people rushing in to claim that they still do it 3 times a day after being together for 30 years.

It’s always the people who have been together 20+ yrs and still having sex multiple times a week with kids, teens, in the house. Well good for them. But I talk to my ob-gyn about this, she tells me most of her post menopausal patients tell her that if they never had sex again, they’ll be fine and don’t care. Most women after a certain age do it mostly to keep their DH happy if they do it at all. Lust doesn’t stay for 10+ yrs. Normal.

Yep, this. I have a close group of friends and we talk about these things and only one of them says she still enjoys having sex with DH but mostly on vacations.

Anonymous wrote:Really? I always feel these threads have people rushing in to claim that they still do it 3 times a day after being together for 30 years.

It’s always the people who have been together 20+ yrs and still having sex multiple times a week with kids, teens, in the house. Well good for them. But I talk to my ob-gyn about this, she tells me most of her post menopausal patients tell her that if they never had sex again, they’ll be fine and don’t care. Most women after a certain age do it mostly to keep their DH happy if they do it at all. Lust doesn’t stay for 10+ yrs. Normal.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how representative of marriage this thread really is. Our sex life sucks and we're both pretty miserable. Have thought about divorce but that seems very expensive. Cheating likely better but I have no idea where to even start with that. Anyone else?

Start your own thread sister. This title is not going to attract the response you seek.

I wonder how representative of marriage this thread really is. Our sex life sucks and we're both pretty miserable. Have thought about divorce but that seems very expensive. Cheating likely better but I have no idea where to even start with that. Anyone else?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? I always feel these threads have people rushing in to claim that they still do it 3 times a day after being together for 30 years.

This is What I was going to say.

Everyone here has sex 4x a week plus and it has only gotten better with age!

Also, every soccer mom you see has a special room of toys they use- but you would never guess it from her Lily dressess!

No need for a whole room full of toys. But I thought the majority of adult women in the US have at least one adult toy.

Nothing whatsoever wrong with that. It’s actually healthy. Thought there was even a TEDx talk on that one.

Anonymous wrote:Really? I always feel these threads have people rushing in to claim that they still do it 3 times a day after being together for 30 years.

This is What I was going to say.

Everyone here has sex 4x a week plus and it has only gotten better with age!

Also, every soccer mom you see has a special room of toys they use- but you would never guess it from her Lily dressess!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married 19 years, 3 kids. Opened the marriage for both of us two years ago to add variety. And it worked.

Glad it worked for you. We've been together 17 years. 3 kids. Decided to open up less than two months ago. Already encountered a challenge that we got through and we feel like we're closer than ever.

She has more of a drive and is more GGG than she's ever been.

That’s great!

Anonymous wrote:Married 19 years, 3 kids. Opened the marriage for both of us two years ago to add variety. And it worked.

Glad it worked for you. We've been together 17 years. 3 kids. Decided to open up less than two months ago. Already encountered a challenge that we got through and we feel like we're closer than ever.

She has more of a drive and is more GGG than she's ever been.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married 19 years, 3 kids. Opened the marriage for both of us two years ago to add variety. And it worked.

I’m curious about this. How often do you sleep with other people? Do you talk about it with each other?

By it I mean the other people, your experiences, frequency etc.

Also, have either of you experienced jealousy?

Started with a threesome to get things rolling. I’ve separately slept with three guys, all of whom were from my past. He’s slept with two women—I knew one a little bit, but not the other one. He had very strong jealousy issues, but they have been successfully channeled into improving our relationship.