Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that some men have affairs for variety or a kink they can't get at home.

If the relationship is otherwise good they may still want to grow old with their spouse and are just filling a void in the present.

I don't know the few women I know who had affairs that left their husband found that the affair partner ran for the hills straight away, all loving during the affair but not interested in anything real.

+100

Many a male AP left skid marks fleeing when female AP puts pressure on or divorces. Most make APs only looking for midlife escape/dalliance/variety no matter what their AP’s thought. It’s a rude wake up call. When a woman cheats she is usually looking for an exit/a parachute, not the other sex.

Keep in mind that some men have affairs for variety or a kink they can't get at home.

If the relationship is otherwise good they may still want to grow old with their spouse and are just filling a void in the present.

I don't know the few women I know who had affairs that left their husband found that the affair partner ran for the hills straight away, all loving during the affair but not interested in anything real.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its interesting no one discusses the impact on men when women cheat and leave the marriage or the AP.

It’s humiliating and emasculating for males. It’s not their fault they married whores, but society unfairly labels them.

Yes. It’s very hard for men. Society views the betrayed male spouse as less of a man. A betrayed female garners sympathy. There is also no support for betrayed husbands. Even on the Internet, all of the websites/blogs assume the victim is female and the cheater male.

Although people look down at married cheater mothers pretty harshly. It’s considered particularly whorish my society to cheat when you have kids at home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had an AP for three years and we both like our spouses except the marriages are sexless. There is a lot about my wife that I prefer over my AP and my AP is not someone I’d want to marry. She’s fun, likes sex and there are NSA.

Those strings will hang you when one of your spouse’s finds out. And they will. You will regret every minute you spent with that AP. The light of day reveals how truly ugly she is...trust me. They will flip on u.

No. Worst case is the spouse finds out and they divorce. If not for his AP again his only option is divorce. In no scenario does he regret sex with AP.

When he loses his wife and kids and begs and cries and moans in agony all for a woman he never loved, wasn’t that attractive and used for sex...yeah he’s pretty upset he risked all of that for a skank. 9 times out of 10 they tell their therapist if they could go back in time they never would have done it. However, you can’t unf@ck that donkey, so the damage is done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left my ex-DW for my AP. Both the best (leaving) and worst (cheating instead of ending marriage first) I ever made.

You know honorable men (and women) don't cheat and divorce, then see someone else. Your ex did not deserve what you did.

No, she did not. Which why I said that was the worst thing I ever did. It was ugly for a while. Then we both came to terms with the fact that we married too young and for the wrong reasons (she got pregnant). We just were not compatible. She moved on and got married and is very happy, as am I. We actually get along much better now, and both sides work together to be good parents to DD.

None of that makes what I did right. I should have asked for a divorce and then moved on when that was settled. But I can't change the past, and we are both with spouses we are much better suited for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had an AP for three years and we both like our spouses except the marriages are sexless. There is a lot about my wife that I prefer over my AP and my AP is not someone I’d want to marry. She’s fun, likes sex and there are NSA.

Those strings will hang you when one of your spouse’s finds out. And they will. You will regret every minute you spent with that AP. The light of day reveals how truly ugly she is...trust me. They will flip on u.

Pp, you are placing no blame on the husband. Why didn't you call him ugly? He wants sex, marriage is sexless. The affair let's his wife stay married. She should thank the AP.

Wow. Are you teaching your kids great values too. Would you be ok if your child's spouse cheated on them?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had an AP for three years and we both like our spouses except the marriages are sexless. There is a lot about my wife that I prefer over my AP and my AP is not someone I’d want to marry. She’s fun, likes sex and there are NSA.

Those strings will hang you when one of your spouse’s finds out. And they will. You will regret every minute you spent with that AP. The light of day reveals how truly ugly she is...trust me. They will flip on u.

Pp, you are placing no blame on the husband. Why didn't you call him ugly? He wants sex, marriage is sexless. The affair let's his wife stay married. She should thank the AP.

Anonymous wrote:I left my ex-DW for my AP. Both the best (leaving) and worst (cheating instead of ending marriage first) I ever made.

You know honorable men (and women) don't cheat and divorce, then see someone else. Your ex did not deserve what you did.

Because the AP is usually a skank. If he does eventually leave it will be for someone else.

Anonymous wrote:I’m genuinely curious about this, read this thread a lot. Seems like there are decent number of husbands who have affairs, sometimes even years in length. But they rarely leave the wife, the couple either reconciles or the wife files for divorce. In my actual life, I only know of three instances when a husband divorced and married the affair partner.

Well to be fair, they do sometimes leave the wife and marry the AP. But very many do not. The non-judgmental (and true!) answer is that daily frustrations aside, these men are quite content with their life the way it is. They are satisfied with their wives in all the ways that count and have no desire to upend their life. Wife is good for her thing, and the mistress is good for her thing. Everyone has their own job to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had an AP for three years and we both like our spouses except the marriages are sexless. There is a lot about my wife that I prefer over my AP and my AP is not someone I’d want to marry. She’s fun, likes sex and there are NSA.

Those strings will hang you when one of your spouse’s finds out. And they will. You will regret every minute you spent with that AP. The light of day reveals how truly ugly she is...trust me. They will flip on u.

No. Worst case is the spouse finds out and they divorce. If not for his AP again his only option is divorce. In no scenario does he regret sex with AP.

I agree with this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had an AP for three years and we both like our spouses except the marriages are sexless. There is a lot about my wife that I prefer over my AP and my AP is not someone I’d want to marry. She’s fun, likes sex and there are NSA.

Those strings will hang you when one of your spouse’s finds out. And they will. You will regret every minute you spent with that AP. The light of day reveals how truly ugly she is...trust me. They will flip on u.

No. Worst case is the spouse finds out and they divorce. If not for his AP again his only option is divorce. In no scenario does he regret sex with AP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here: i quite agree. Some fall in love with their AP, and some want family 2.0, but mostly they just want sex. Haven’t you ever slept with someone you did not see as relationship material?

I think more men have the capability of sleeping with women they don’t see as relationship material. Brothels, Asian massage parlors, Prostitution rings and Ashley Madison. All support that.

Entire industries thrive on males craving zero strings sex, websites too. They are looking solely to blow their loads.

Anonymous wrote:I think its interesting no one discusses the impact on men when women cheat and leave the marriage or the AP.

It’s humiliating and emasculating for males. It’s not their fault they married whores, but society unfairly labels them.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had an AP for three years and we both like our spouses except the marriages are sexless. There is a lot about my wife that I prefer over my AP and my AP is not someone I’d want to marry. She’s fun, likes sex and there are NSA.

Those strings will hang you when one of your spouse’s finds out. And they will. You will regret every minute you spent with that AP. The light of day reveals how truly ugly she is...trust me. They will flip on u.