I turned off the fireplace

I picked him up and removed him from my keyboard during a Zoom meeting. He managed to type something like, "sadSGSDDHXJJSSSSSCJKknok. Vfvbbhbkkkkkk mmnnmkkkui" with his soft paws, much to the delight and/or dismay of my colleagues before I got him off. He landed on the floor and stalked away angrily. He's kept his back to me ever since.

I am sleeping with one eye open tonight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cruelly closed the door to the pantry to stop her from chewing packing plastic, her very favorite thing to do besides sleep. She will probably sh!t on my pillow.

She is trying to tell you that she needs grass. Buy her a fresh green growing grass from the Pet Smart or Petco and cut few stalks and hand it to her form your fingers, you will see she will be so happy.

But then she'll puke it up and you'll have to clean up green cat vomit.

I won't let her sit on my desk, between me and the computer screen.

Anonymous wrote:I cruelly closed the door to the pantry to stop her from chewing packing plastic, her very favorite thing to do besides sleep. She will probably sh!t on my pillow.

She is trying to tell you that she needs grass. Buy her a fresh green growing grass from the Pet Smart or Petco and cut few stalks and hand it to her form your fingers, you will see she will be so happy.

Anonymous wrote:My wife had the temerity to go into the bathroom—and close the door!

+1!! Totally my cat - good chuckle!

I ate a banana at breakfast. They recoil from bananas and now I am being shunned. Why do they hate bananas?

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't let her drink out of my glass of water. Gross, cat germs.

You monster. That ship sailed from our house years ago.

She rolled over on her back, showed me her tummy, and meowed looking directly at me. So I went over and rubbed gently pet her tummy.

That was clearly a mistake judging from the scrapes on my hand. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO GO FOR THE TUMMY. It is the Lucy/football of cats. I SHALL NEVER GO FOR THE TUMMY AGAIN, AS LONG AS I SHALL LIVE.

Anonymous wrote:I walked by without refreshing her water bowl. She’s senile and expects it constantly emptied and filled with fresh water.

Mine, too. It's exasperating, but of course I comply.

I walked by without refreshing her water bowl. She’s senile and expects it constantly emptied and filled with fresh water.

I ordered the wrong type of food. She had to eat minced wet food this morning instead of her normal pate. I'm a horrible monster for making her go through this.

I'm a PP re: grilled chicken. This week's food of choice is hamburger. He ate most of a (diced) hamburger patty for dinner, but left a few pieces. He sat on the table and wailed at top volume because he wanted more, but he still had some left. He apparently wanted the choice to reject even more food.

I wouldn't let her drink out of my glass of water. Gross, cat germs.

I wouldn't let him get in the shower with me.