Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 08:29     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
Anonymous wrote:OP,

First off, Since you are new to the board, a bit of advice:

1. Ignore the trolls
2. Ignore the trolls
3. Ignore the trolls.

Responding to trolls just gives them doses of dopamine via the attention. It’s all about them highjacking your post and getting you to engage with them. Acknowledge the kindness but never address the trolly puppet people.

Secondly, while I get that you’d like to front load college planning, the best advice I’ve seen here is to start a 529. Rules change. Deal with them as you get closer (3-4 years out) as you have enough on your plate right now. How do you eat an elephant , one bite at a time.

With the current pandemic , your ex may be a non-factor in ten years , for many reasons. Focus on your kids having the most authentic, quality, and genuine experiences now.



Where have the trolls been in this thread? Just because people have given OP an answer she didn't like and explained why the system as it exists -- rather than what she would like -- makes a lot of sense, doesn't make them trolls.

It's crazy how that term has expanded to encompass anyone who you disagree with or provides an answer you don't like.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 06:50     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
Hi, I am on page 1 and just wanted to say that I am in the same situation and looking for a way too. Best of luck and thank you for starting this topic!
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 05:51     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
OP,

First off, Since you are new to the board, a bit of advice:

1. Ignore the trolls
2. Ignore the trolls
3. Ignore the trolls.

Responding to trolls just gives them doses of dopamine via the attention. It’s all about them highjacking your post and getting you to engage with them. Acknowledge the kindness but never address the trolly puppet people.

Secondly, while I get that you’d like to front load college planning, the best advice I’ve seen here is to start a 529. Rules change. Deal with them as you get closer (3-4 years out) as you have enough on your plate right now. How do you eat an elephant , one bite at a time.

With the current pandemic , your ex may be a non-factor in ten years , for many reasons. Focus on your kids having the most authentic, quality, and genuine experiences now.

Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 03:30     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Thank you everyone for your help and perspectives. A follow-up question.

Is there a divorced parent who completed the CSS who could tell me... do they by any chance break down the EFC by each parent when divorced? Like, the EFC is 150K, 100K from dad 50K from mom?

That might be helpful for me to show my ex or his parents who would potentially help out. And yes I am saving money and not counting on anyone else, but it would just be good to know what to anticipate there. Thank you!


Each parent who does FAFSA gets the EFC based on his or her income. The FAFSA calculates for each parent. The colleges see both FAFSAs and simply combines these EFCs. Each parent, however, only sees his or her FAFSA EFC.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2020 23:44     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Thanks so much for your follow-up. I totally understood what you were saying. I guess that's the difficult part of this. Having to include my ex on the EFC means that my kids will not be able to go to schools they would have been able to go to if he had just vanished. (which essentially, he has) It's tough, and I know people that are in all kinds of situations that have financial challenges and I feel for them, too. I'm a very strong person and a devoted parents and I know my kids will continue to thrive. Thank you for your encouragement!


I just want to emphasize that he hasn't vanished, at least not financially, which is the issue. If he had vanished and never paid support, your child(ren) would be in a different position vis-a-vis financial aid. Your children are entitled to the child support he is paying, but they are benefitting financially from it.


Right and the child support I receive is noted as income on my part of the profile. Maybe I should have waived the support, I don't know!


No, absolutely not. Your children are entitled to that support. Waiving child support is almost never advisable.


OP, if you have the means to support your children yourself, could you simply deposit his child support into your kids' college accounts? Or could you renegotiate the divorce in order for him to deposit into the accounts directly? Also, could you ask your ex about what sort of a life he envisions for his kids in their college years and 20's as they are getting established? Appeal to his pride. All in all though, your children could have a very good experience at their local state college.


If the ex makes $200,000 per year, he's not going to remain single for long. He'll have his own family, news kids, etc.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2020 23:30     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
As far as I know, universities would NOT spilt the bill for parents. The student will get the bill. The university don't care which parent will pay the bill. They just want to the bill to be paid
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2020 21:45     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
Apply to schools that ask for FAFSA only. FAFSA is based on custodial parent's income. I know in CA, state schools require only FAFSA. Private schools usually ask for CSS.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2020 20:27     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Thank you everyone for your help and perspectives. A follow-up question.

Is there a divorced parent who completed the CSS who could tell me... do they by any chance break down the EFC by each parent when divorced? Like, the EFC is 150K, 100K from dad 50K from mom?

That might be helpful for me to show my ex or his parents who would potentially help out. And yes I am saving money and not counting on anyone else, but it would just be good to know what to anticipate there. Thank you!


Leave it alone until it becomes an issue. Save and don't count on anyone and worst case kids take loans and you help pay them back. If you are the custodial parent they may not even look at his income.


I agree with you and I will save. But if anyone knows if the CSS profile splits up the EFC between divorced parents that would be just really helpful to know. Thanks.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2020 20:25     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Thanks so much for your follow-up. I totally understood what you were saying. I guess that's the difficult part of this. Having to include my ex on the EFC means that my kids will not be able to go to schools they would have been able to go to if he had just vanished. (which essentially, he has) It's tough, and I know people that are in all kinds of situations that have financial challenges and I feel for them, too. I'm a very strong person and a devoted parents and I know my kids will continue to thrive. Thank you for your encouragement!


I just want to emphasize that he hasn't vanished, at least not financially, which is the issue. If he had vanished and never paid support, your child(ren) would be in a different position vis-a-vis financial aid. Your children are entitled to the child support he is paying, but they are benefitting financially from it.


Right and the child support I receive is noted as income on my part of the profile. Maybe I should have waived the support, I don't know!


No, absolutely not. Your children are entitled to that support. Waiving child support is almost never advisable.


OP, if you have the means to support your children yourself, could you simply deposit his child support into your kids' college accounts? Or could you renegotiate the divorce in order for him to deposit into the accounts directly? Also, could you ask your ex about what sort of a life he envisions for his kids in their college years and 20's as they are getting established? Appeal to his pride. All in all though, your children could have a very good experience at their local state college.


Thanks, I appreciate it.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2020 20:25     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How about the parents are never married and the father even did not sign the birth certificate of the child. The father has been paying child support as otherwise, his wage will be garnished. The father nerve visit the child or have any kind of communication with the child

Do you think this father's income can be waived?


OP here. Honestly not so different from me except we were married. I would hope this family would have some recourse not to have an Expected Family Contribution that includes what's basically a sperm donor.


I really don't understand this? Did you manipulate your ex into having a child with you? I would assume that he had some degree of consent to have a child with you and you had some degree of consent to have a child with him?


I get it. You're perfect and you would never find yourself in a situation like this. I'm a loser who is undeserving of advice to put my family in the best situation possible. Noted. Thank you for your comment.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2020 20:14     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Thanks so much for your follow-up. I totally understood what you were saying. I guess that's the difficult part of this. Having to include my ex on the EFC means that my kids will not be able to go to schools they would have been able to go to if he had just vanished. (which essentially, he has) It's tough, and I know people that are in all kinds of situations that have financial challenges and I feel for them, too. I'm a very strong person and a devoted parents and I know my kids will continue to thrive. Thank you for your encouragement!


I just want to emphasize that he hasn't vanished, at least not financially, which is the issue. If he had vanished and never paid support, your child(ren) would be in a different position vis-a-vis financial aid. Your children are entitled to the child support he is paying, but they are benefitting financially from it.


Right and the child support I receive is noted as income on my part of the profile. Maybe I should have waived the support, I don't know!


No, absolutely not. Your children are entitled to that support. Waiving child support is almost never advisable.


OP, if you have the means to support your children yourself, could you simply deposit his child support into your kids' college accounts? Or could you renegotiate the divorce in order for him to deposit into the accounts directly? Also, could you ask your ex about what sort of a life he envisions for his kids in their college years and 20's as they are getting established? Appeal to his pride. All in all though, your children could have a very good experience at their local state college.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2020 20:13     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Thank you everyone for your help and perspectives. A follow-up question.

Is there a divorced parent who completed the CSS who could tell me... do they by any chance break down the EFC by each parent when divorced? Like, the EFC is 150K, 100K from dad 50K from mom?

That might be helpful for me to show my ex or his parents who would potentially help out. And yes I am saving money and not counting on anyone else, but it would just be good to know what to anticipate there. Thank you!


Leave it alone until it becomes an issue. Save and don't count on anyone and worst case kids take loans and you help pay them back. If you are the custodial parent they may not even look at his income.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2020 20:11     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How about the parents are never married and the father even did not sign the birth certificate of the child. The father has been paying child support as otherwise, his wage will be garnished. The father nerve visit the child or have any kind of communication with the child

Do you think this father's income can be waived?


OP here. Honestly not so different from me except we were married. I would hope this family would have some recourse not to have an Expected Family Contribution that includes what's basically a sperm donor.


I really don't understand this? Did you manipulate your ex into having a child with you? I would assume that he had some degree of consent to have a child with you and you had some degree of consent to have a child with him?
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2020 19:28     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
OP here again. Thank you everyone for your help and perspectives. A follow-up question.

Is there a divorced parent who completed the CSS who could tell me... do they by any chance break down the EFC by each parent when divorced? Like, the EFC is 150K, 100K from dad 50K from mom?

That might be helpful for me to show my ex or his parents who would potentially help out. And yes I am saving money and not counting on anyone else, but it would just be good to know what to anticipate there. Thank you!
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2020 18:03     Subject: Financial Aid and Single Mom
Anonymous wrote:If OP gets married before these kids go to college, the new spouse’s income will be added to hers.


OP here and this is true. We never know where life may take us!