Anonymous
11/11/2025 19:45
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I understand this may be a silly question but, humor me. I have observed that certain friends of mine have ended up with a very specific kind of guy. Some would call them "yuppies." From what I can tell these are their qualities:
- Come from a well-off background
- Have great careers where they are successful
- They are driven and motivated
- They are organized, thoughtful and have a plan for what they want in life and work
- Well adjusted individuals. They are functioning adults without any substance abuse or personality issues
- Put together. Dress in clean, preppy clothes; slim pants and button downs and "stylish" gym wear
- They have a great group of friends
I guess I am at a loss because I can spot these guys and am always interested but they have never shown an interest in me. Meanwhile two of my close friends recently became engaged to this exact kind of guy. I am envious as I am always approached by the messy artsy types who have lackluster careers, drink too much and have self esteem issues. What kind of woman should I aim to be to attract this kind of guy?
These guys often have a small penis. They'll also make you a golf widow. More than half their appeal is their wealth and the doors it opens.
I know a guy like this. The women usually are working (in a professional job but doesn’t have to be high level, something like allied health) and look like they could be their sisters - clean, preppy, organized, attractive and basic.
Anonymous
09/24/2020 16:15
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
Anonymous wrote:OP is you are a 6/10 plus not white, the chances of a white preppy UMC/UC guy falling for you is extremely low
Who said OP is not white? We don’t know that
Anonymous
09/24/2020 16:11
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
UMC female here - not private jet wealthy, but high level job, Ivy league degree, married to UMC husband who grew up LMC, have 3 kids in private schools/etc.
My advice would be to be the best version of yourself - who YOU want to be - if you are into preppy, etc, then become what you are attracted to. Love yourself first. Be the person you would want to date.
Your positive energy will attract the right kind of guy - I know quite a few UMC guys who have dated their opposites - etc - be authentic - be YOU - and open to someone who is a self-starter. Where a guy comes from shouldn't matter - it is where they are going and what they want out of life and shared vision.
What are your passions? Explore them. Why do you think you are just 6 out of 10? It's not all about how you look, it is attitude and energy.
Those artsy guys can be hot and fun too. Don't write anyone off - or judge a book by its cover. Invest in yourself and love yourself first, and you will attract more people to you.
Good luck let this be a year of self growth!
My advice would be to be the best version of yourself - who YOU want to be - if you are into preppy, etc, then become what you are attracted to. Love yourself first. Be the person you would want to date.
Your positive energy will attract the right kind of guy - I know quite a few UMC guys who have dated their opposites - etc - be authentic - be YOU - and open to someone who is a self-starter. Where a guy comes from shouldn't matter - it is where they are going and what they want out of life and shared vision.
What are your passions? Explore them. Why do you think you are just 6 out of 10? It's not all about how you look, it is attitude and energy.
Those artsy guys can be hot and fun too. Don't write anyone off - or judge a book by its cover. Invest in yourself and love yourself first, and you will attract more people to you.
Good luck let this be a year of self growth!
Anonymous
09/24/2020 15:43
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
OP is you are a 6/10 plus not white, the chances of a white preppy UMC/UC guy falling for you is extremely low
Anonymous
09/24/2020 15:42
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most people marry people who grew up in their class. Men who were raised UMC prefer women who were raised the same way, and vice versa. No, it's not something you can fake.
If the money is what matters to you find a guy who made his money yesterday. Those men are happy to date the women who grew up LMC.
I am not LMC. I grew up UMC. I was socially awkward and had anxiety issues so I did not make a lot of social connections among my peers.
So what's stopping you from making those connections now? Are you attractive and do you have a decent job?
I would say I am probably a 6 on a scale of 10. I am skinny fat and do not put a lot of effort into my looks or style. I work as a program specialist for a non profit. I am not a professional rock star but I have worked for prestigious organizations.
So you're not attractive, you don't have a good job, and you have social issues? I know this sounds harsh, but of course men aren't going to be lining up to take that on. Would you date you?
Perhaps, but their husbands look even worse.
Probably not.
Why not do exactly what your friends did to land this guys.
Including complete makeover with help of your friends.
OP here. My friends are awesome women. Both were raised solidly MC with good values and an emphasis on upward mobility. I will say, both are traditionally attractive (fit or thin, very appearance conscience). They both always wanted to target a certain kind of man and actively cultivated a certain image and persona. Both are girly and into cooking and home making.
You can change all that within one year.
New diet, New workout, cooking class and easily you can move from 6 to 8.
+2 Most women who have husbands like the ones you described are actually not all that attractive. They are just thin, classically dressed and also UMC.
Anonymous
09/24/2020 15:23
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP are you the Indian who posts all the time asking why guys don't date her?
OP, if you're this woman, then you have a lot of work to do on yourself before a together guy will step in to support you. Just start now, and you'll get there eventually.
There are plenty of UMC, successful Indian men out there. If she is Indian, she doesn’t need to settle for a white guy.
PP you're responding to here. True, but if she's that poster, then she's against marrying an Indian guy. She fought me on that suggestion a while back.
Anonymous
09/24/2020 14:24
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP are you the Indian who posts all the time asking why guys don't date her?
OP, if you're this woman, then you have a lot of work to do on yourself before a together guy will step in to support you. Just start now, and you'll get there eventually.
There are plenty of UMC, successful Indian men out there. If she is Indian, she doesn’t need to settle for a white guy.
Anonymous
09/24/2020 14:20
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most people marry people who grew up in their class. Men who were raised UMC prefer women who were raised the same way, and vice versa. No, it's not something you can fake.
If the money is what matters to you find a guy who made his money yesterday. Those men are happy to date the women who grew up LMC.
I am not LMC. I grew up UMC. I was socially awkward and had anxiety issues so I did not make a lot of social connections among my peers.
So what's stopping you from making those connections now? Are you attractive and do you have a decent job?
I would say I am probably a 6 on a scale of 10. I am skinny fat and do not put a lot of effort into my looks or style. I work as a program specialist for a non profit. I am not a professional rock star but I have worked for prestigious organizations.
So you're not attractive, you don't have a good job, and you have social issues? I know this sounds harsh, but of course men aren't going to be lining up to take that on. Would you date you?
Probably not.
Why not do exactly what your friends did to land this guys.
Including complete makeover with help of your friends.
OP here. My friends are awesome women. Both were raised solidly MC with good values and an emphasis on upward mobility. I will say, both are traditionally attractive (fit or thin, very appearance conscience). They both always wanted to target a certain kind of man and actively cultivated a certain image and persona. Both are girly and into cooking and home making.
You can change all that within one year.
New diet, New workout, cooking class and easily you can move from 6 to 8.
+2 Most women who have husbands like the ones you described are actually not all that attractive. They are just thin, classically dressed and also UMC.
Anonymous
09/24/2020 14:12
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone keeps saying "be thin" but I seriously dated only this kind of guy, and was proposed to by two (before DH). And I've always been thick (not fat, but size 12). UMC guys sometimes like thick women just like poor guys sometimes do.
How tall are you though? There’s a big difference between 5’1 and 5’7 at that size.
I'm 5'9 but I'm decidedly not "thin."
Ok well you are an outlier.
I don't think that's true. I think men tend to like women who have body types/flaws like their moms. And plenty of UMC moms are thick like me.
you got me thinking about my college and grad school friends. In retrospect, I think the ones who settled down very early- excluding the ones who married college girlfriends- definitely fit that description, they married a mother figure to run their lives. I think the ones who married late 20s early 30s were much more likely to either get someone who matched them or to find a younger trophy though
Uh well that's not what I said at all but okay
Anonymous
09/24/2020 14:11
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone keeps saying "be thin" but I seriously dated only this kind of guy, and was proposed to by two (before DH). And I've always been thick (not fat, but size 12). UMC guys sometimes like thick women just like poor guys sometimes do.
How tall are you though? There’s a big difference between 5’1 and 5’7 at that size.
I'm 5'9 but I'm decidedly not "thin."
Ok well you are an outlier.
I don't think that's true. I think men tend to like women who have body types/flaws like their moms. And plenty of UMC moms are thick like me.
you got me thinking about my college and grad school friends. In retrospect, I think the ones who settled down very early- excluding the ones who married college girlfriends- definitely fit that description, they married a mother figure to run their lives. I think the ones who married late 20s early 30s were much more likely to either get someone who matched them or to find a younger trophy though
Anonymous
09/24/2020 14:09
Subject: Re:What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
This thread is not really my bag but I just remembered a woman I used to hang out with who basically wanted exactly this, and I think her experience my be useful to hear about.
So she was early 30s, cute but not gorgeous, smart but not mega-successful, well educated. She had very specific ideas about what she wanted in a spouse -- high income, who liked to travel a lot and had the means to do so, liberal but not crunchy, attractive, preppy, wanted a family.
First, she lost about 20 pounds, developed a mild eating disorder, and started posting a ton of selfies to social media of her out drinking, on vacation, holding friends babies, going to work events. Basically the same kind of stuff she was looking for a husband to do with her.
Then she scoured social media and dating sites to identify men who met these requirements. Once she had one in her sights, she worked connections and angles to get near him. She was clever because she didn't really date guys through dating sites. She would identify them that way but then find a way to connect to them offline, through a colleague or friend or something. It was creepy/stalkery but also kind of inspired because it allowed her to both identify men and find out what they were looking for in a partner, but then meet them in ways that helped her stand out from the crowd of women on dating apps.
Then when she dated them, she'd sculpt her personality to match their interests (which she knew because she'd read their dating profiles, though they didn't always know that). She liked the same bands, the same sports teams, and the same activities. She took an active interest in their families (dudes from UMC families like this a lot, apparently).
It took her about four tries, but she finally wound up landing a recently divorced lawyer who liked to travel. The recently divorced thing turned out to be key -- I think it helped her to be able to present herself as a younger, hotter version of his ex-wife, while also filling in all the holes his prior marriage had left (someone to hang out with, someone to listen, etc.). He was kind of vulnerable so it made him a little easier to suck in.
Anyway, they got married and I think have one or two kids now. I will note that the minute they were engaged, she started gaining back the weight and stopped dressing as sexy. No idea if he cares about that, just a note.
This is literally the only story I know of a woman doing what OP wants and being successful. It's moderately insane to me and I really wonder if this woman actually cares for her husband (maybe it doesn't matter? I don't know). I also wonder how much he knows about the way she tracked him down. I think they have a meet cute story but I don't know if he is aware of the degree to which she orchestrated it. Maybe he does and finds it flattering. This is not how I would want to meet my spouse, but I get that dating is hard and it can be frustrating to feel like you aren't getting traction with the type of person you think you would be happiest with.
But there you go. Tried and tested.
So she was early 30s, cute but not gorgeous, smart but not mega-successful, well educated. She had very specific ideas about what she wanted in a spouse -- high income, who liked to travel a lot and had the means to do so, liberal but not crunchy, attractive, preppy, wanted a family.
First, she lost about 20 pounds, developed a mild eating disorder, and started posting a ton of selfies to social media of her out drinking, on vacation, holding friends babies, going to work events. Basically the same kind of stuff she was looking for a husband to do with her.
Then she scoured social media and dating sites to identify men who met these requirements. Once she had one in her sights, she worked connections and angles to get near him. She was clever because she didn't really date guys through dating sites. She would identify them that way but then find a way to connect to them offline, through a colleague or friend or something. It was creepy/stalkery but also kind of inspired because it allowed her to both identify men and find out what they were looking for in a partner, but then meet them in ways that helped her stand out from the crowd of women on dating apps.
Then when she dated them, she'd sculpt her personality to match their interests (which she knew because she'd read their dating profiles, though they didn't always know that). She liked the same bands, the same sports teams, and the same activities. She took an active interest in their families (dudes from UMC families like this a lot, apparently).
It took her about four tries, but she finally wound up landing a recently divorced lawyer who liked to travel. The recently divorced thing turned out to be key -- I think it helped her to be able to present herself as a younger, hotter version of his ex-wife, while also filling in all the holes his prior marriage had left (someone to hang out with, someone to listen, etc.). He was kind of vulnerable so it made him a little easier to suck in.
Anyway, they got married and I think have one or two kids now. I will note that the minute they were engaged, she started gaining back the weight and stopped dressing as sexy. No idea if he cares about that, just a note.
This is literally the only story I know of a woman doing what OP wants and being successful. It's moderately insane to me and I really wonder if this woman actually cares for her husband (maybe it doesn't matter? I don't know). I also wonder how much he knows about the way she tracked him down. I think they have a meet cute story but I don't know if he is aware of the degree to which she orchestrated it. Maybe he does and finds it flattering. This is not how I would want to meet my spouse, but I get that dating is hard and it can be frustrating to feel like you aren't getting traction with the type of person you think you would be happiest with.
But there you go. Tried and tested.
Anonymous
09/24/2020 13:33
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone keeps saying "be thin" but I seriously dated only this kind of guy, and was proposed to by two (before DH). And I've always been thick (not fat, but size 12). UMC guys sometimes like thick women just like poor guys sometimes do.
How tall are you though? There’s a big difference between 5’1 and 5’7 at that size.
I'm 5'9 but I'm decidedly not "thin."
Ok well you are an outlier.
I don't think that's true. I think men tend to like women who have body types/flaws like their moms. And plenty of UMC moms are thick like me.
Anonymous
09/24/2020 13:31
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP are you the Indian who posts all the time asking why guys don't date her?
OP, if you're this woman, then you have a lot of work to do on yourself before a together guy will step in to support you. Just start now, and you'll get there eventually.
maybe, but will there be guys that you're looking for by the time you get there. The kind of guy she's looking for - UMC who want a family- are constantly marrying and settling down. By the time she improves herself enough to do some gold digging, she may be looking at divorcees or guys who never want to marry
Anonymous
09/24/2020 13:26
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone keeps saying "be thin" but I seriously dated only this kind of guy, and was proposed to by two (before DH). And I've always been thick (not fat, but size 12). UMC guys sometimes like thick women just like poor guys sometimes do.
How tall are you though? There’s a big difference between 5’1 and 5’7 at that size.
I'm 5'9 but I'm decidedly not "thin."
Ok well you are an outlier.
Anonymous
09/24/2020 13:26
Subject: What kind of women do UMC well adjusted men find attractive?
Anonymous wrote:OP are you the Indian who posts all the time asking why guys don't date her?
OP, if you're this woman, then you have a lot of work to do on yourself before a together guy will step in to support you. Just start now, and you'll get there eventually.