Anonymous wrote:If you majored in dance, then I would think you would have the skills to go into theater (although not now with covid) or a dance troupe.

The bigger question, though, is why can't you keep a job for more than 2 months? Are you bored? Not self disciplined? Lazy? Choosing the wrong jobs?

Dance troupes are dying to get their hands on 34 year old women who haven’t danced since college.

Anonymous wrote:If you majored in dance, then I would think you would have the skills to go into theater (although not now with covid) or a dance troupe.

The bigger question, though, is why can't you keep a job for more than 2 months? Are you bored? Not self disciplined? Lazy? Choosing the wrong jobs?

That was more than a decade ago. It's really not as easy as "going into theater."

I have a middle schooler who has ADHD and is very intelligent. She has a remarkable amount of background knowledge in a variety of subjects and an incredible memory. Her mind works very fast and she can speed read. She hyper focuses on the things she finds interesting, but cannot focus on anything else. She has no executive skills. She also has no trust fund, so she will have to grind it out every day like every other working stiff when she’s an adult. “Magical Thinking” is very common with ADHD - but so is having the ability to engage in “higher level thinking,” while simultaneously being unable to handle life’s minutiae. You need to treat your ADHD. There are so many different medications now. They won’t all affect you the same way.

When you start a new job, is your mindset that it’s only a temporary thing, or that you’re just doing this job until something better comes along, or that you’ll just try it out and if you don’t like it you can always just quit? That’s not how successful people approach a job. You need to change your mindset. Working with a therapist is a critical part of doing that.

You really do need coaching, and you need to make an honest assessment of why you never hold a job for more than 6 months. Is it because you don’t like the daily grind and your trust fund allows you to escape it? Because you get bored easily? Because you fall behind in your work and don’t want to face the consequences? Because you think the kinds of jobs you can get are beneath you? Because you don’t like being told what to do? Because more is expected of you once you’re no longer a new employee, but you haven’t mastered the necessary skills to take on more responsibility? Are you too embarrassed to ask questions and let people know that you haven’t mastered the job yet? Do you flounder when it comes to office politics? You may need an executive skills coach or a career coach or both - but you won’t know what you need until you’re honest with yourself about what your issues are.

Besides hiring a career coach or

If you majored in dance, then I would think you would have the skills to go into theater (although not now with covid) or a dance troupe.

The bigger question, though, is why can't you keep a job for more than 2 months? Are you bored? Not self disciplined? Lazy? Choosing the wrong jobs?

Anonymous wrote:Op what are your interests? Why does it matter if lawyers make a lot of money since you will also have your trust fund?


Anyways, one of my best friend's makes 70K a year as a nurse. Has a trust fund that would equal out to about 70K a year. That coupled with her husband's 100K a year job means they have a pretty great life (they live in a low COL area).

You say that you're in your 30s and now your friends are able to afford things now that you aren't because they are getting promoted. So it doesn't sound like your trust fund isn't that big.

Today you should sit down and make a list of things you enjoy doing. Use that as a way to figure out what career paths fit with those.

Because OP's friends are making big money now so buying nicer things and taking better trips etc than OP can. OP was queen b when they were broke and now is made that her trust fund won't allow her to outpace their grit and ambition.

Op what are your interests? Why does it matter if lawyers make a lot of money since you will also have your trust fund?


Anyways, one of my best friend's makes 70K a year as a nurse. Has a trust fund that would equal out to about 70K a year. That coupled with her husband's 100K a year job means they have a pretty great life (they live in a low COL area).

You say that you're in your 30s and now your friends are able to afford things now that you aren't because they are getting promoted. So it doesn't sound like your trust fund isn't that big.

Today you should sit down and make a list of things you enjoy doing. Use that as a way to figure out what career paths fit with those.

You could think about teaching yourself coding or doing a coding boot camp. That's something where we have good ways of testing competence, and we need a lot of workers, so there's more room for being smart + working hard and showing results to matter, and where your spotty work history might be ignored. I'd still think about couching this in terms of "I had some medical issues which it took me a long time to resolve, but I'm better now." (And then obviously get yourself more-treated, so it's true.) Once you know a little, you can do your own projects and, if you want, offer to do some volunteer work so that you can show it off to prospective employers. ADHD is real common among programmers - the hyperfocus helps. But you really have to let go of this idea that you deserve to be in a certain place. There are lots of people who are smart and got their stuff together to work hard, so you are behind them. They learned skills that you didn't, and you need to catch up on. You might be able to progress quickly, you might not, but you will have to put in a lot of work and much of it will a) not be interesting and b) be work that people ten years younger than you are doing, and doing well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get married, have kids.

Problem solved.

Yup. Husband with a high income solves your problems. You don’t really want to work, you just want to have more money.

+3

It’s obvious

Husband doesn't eve nneed to be a high earner per se just a stable earner with solid benefits, etc. since OP still has her trust fund.

Anonymous wrote:I think the crux of the matter is that OP is thinking in terms of what they can do, and focused on the fact they are sure they can do if they get to the right level. If that is the focus, the process looks a little arbitrary and unreasonable, and it looks like hiring managers are just being, I don't know, pissy or obstinate or unfair.

But if you look at it from the hiring manager's perspective, if you could hire Person A for a given job, but they can only do well at it so long as they find it interesting and doing it only involves things the employee really cares about, or Person B, who has a proven track record of sticking with tasks even through the unexpectedly tedious bits, and when the scope of tasks changes ... which is the better candidate? Which one do you have to spend more time supervising and protecting from aspects of the job they might not like (because you know they have quit quickly in the past when they felt uninterested or too challenged)?

Any job with attractive characteristics (creative, exciting, pays well, whatever combination) will attract multiple applicants. I'd rather have someone with a little less talent and a lot more grit, because i think I will be much more likely to be giving high performance reviews to that one, especially over time. They are also going to be a lot less work to manage, and nobody has spare time and energy to spend when they could just have hired a better worker.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get married, have kids.

Problem solved.

Yup. Husband with a high income solves your problems. You don’t really want to work, you just want to have more money.

Or even a husband with a low income, since OP will still have her income. That frees her to choose from a wider pool.

OP, find a rich sugar daddy.

Therapy.

Start doing informational interviews with people who do work you are interested in to find out more about what they do and what you would need to do if you wanted to do it. This also has the effect of helping you network. I've changed careers twice and both times I ended up finding a job through informational interviews.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: How about you dance your way over to the Peace Corps or AmeriCorps other helping organization.

those are insanely competitive jobs- there is no way OP gets through a first round screening

People will take chances on someone very young and fresh, because they might get lucky. If you have a track record of quitting, and that is a pattern, you're not going to get someone easily to take a chance on you.

Add in that yes, those are insanely competitive slots, and you have no reason for them to take a chance on anybody. Their applicants have already proven themselves, even if they are young.

Anonymous wrote: How about you dance your way over to the Peace Corps or AmeriCorps other helping organization.

those are insanely competitive jobs- there is no way OP gets through a first round screening