Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Believe me, OP, it will take years of therapy for your DS to come to terms with what a crappy parent you were to him.

he better figure out how to get a good job- therapy isn't cheap

It is with insurance

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Believe me, OP, it will take years of therapy for your DS to come to terms with what a crappy parent you were to him.

he better figure out how to get a good job- therapy isn't cheap

Anonymous wrote:

Believe me, OP, it will take years of therapy for your DS to come to terms with what a crappy parent you were to him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s kid is the same as 99% of teenage boys now and in 2000 and in 1980. He’s probably not going to be a deadbeat. Damn y’all are pessimists!

Rationalization is a classic defense mechanism. "All boys are like this!" No, all boys are not like this. And no, it doesn't all magically work out in the end. There are over 10 million working prime age American men — 1 in 6 — who are unemployed and living in their childhood home.

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/06/the-missing-men/488858/

All of you need to learn about unconditional love. That seems to be missing on here! I told my kids I’d love them even if they never took an AP class. I told them I’d pay for any college within the budget. All 3 are happy, self-supporting, balanced adults.

Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s kid is the same as 99% of teenage boys now and in 2000 and in 1980. He’s probably not going to be a deadbeat. Damn y’all are pessimists!

not really. Tons of boys have been and are very involved in school, sports, extra curricular and do well in school

Anonymous wrote:Mom, dad and son should all read JD Vance's memoir and encourage him to enlist in the military at graduation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s kid is the same as 99% of teenage boys now and in 2000 and in 1980. He’s probably not going to be a deadbeat. Damn y’all are pessimists!

Rationalization is a classic defense mechanism. "All boys are like this!" No, all boys are not like this. And no, it doesn't all magically work out in the end. There are over 10 million working prime age American men — 1 in 6 — who are unemployed and living in their childhood home.

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/06/the-missing-men/488858/

Anonymous wrote:
Agreed.

My youngest took every AP course he could, why because coursework ended a month before non AP courses. He never studied for the exams. Sometimes he got credit sometimes not. He could have cared less. Always got A's & B's without really applying himself. Played games with MCPS testing, would fail on purpose to take test or quiz over for no penalty (great policy MCPS, NO). Went away to college [to study] Engineering again could have cared less about his grades or even the level of college he was at. It was a B tier engineering program. Graduated with a not great GPA again could not care less. His career, better than his siblings that went off to Ivies, who cared about grades, etc....

Difference is he's my most motivated by working. It took us a long time as parents to parent him differently than his siblings. For me more than my DH, it was so hard to let go. But, once we did he showed us his best. All we can ask as parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s just average? That’s OK, you know. Is he happy? Does he have friends?

+1. My teen DS plays more videogames than I'd like but I've learned that it's how he and his friends like to socialize. He's not at all competitive, doesn't like to join school teams/ clubs, but does well in class and, most importantly, he's kind and has good friends. He won't go to a college that DCUM finds impressive but I'm confident he'll find his way in life and be happy.

On DCUM a child is “average” because they “only” got a 1300 on the SAT or got a couple more Bs than As or only made district titles rather than state!

Grades are no longer a measure of success. ACT/SAT scores and college readiness rates are sliding, yet 50% of all 12th graders in the US have an A average GPA. Teens are several grade levels behind while maintaining As and Bs.

Do not look at your painfully unmotivated lazy child and pretend everything is ok because they have decent grades — EVERYONE has decent grades now. Nearly half the kids who begin college fail or drop out because they’re so many grade levels behind and have no discipline and no study skills.

NO EVERYONE does not have decent grades. I hate that DCUM perpetuates this lie. Plenty of kids in MCPS still struggle, and are "unimpressive". It's a very tough area to be average.

In 2019 my niece graduated from a half-decent public school district with a 3.33 GPA. Her parents bragged she was an As and Bs student who never had to study. She then decided to take classes at the local two-year community college, which required placement tests. She tested into remedial courses that were on par with 7th grade level material.

Grades are meaningless – especially non-honors and non-AP courses. And really, AP grades mean nothing if the kid can't earn at least a 3 on the AP Exam. Many kids take AP courses, get inflated grades, then totally skip or bomb the exams.

My adult DD’s friend got top grades but didn’t take her AP exams and got a 1350 M+V on the SAT. She is a second year med student.

Agreed.


My youngest took every AP course he could, why because coursework ended a month before non AP courses. He never studied for the exams. Sometimes he got credit sometimes not. He could have cared less. Always got A's & B's without really applying himself. Played games with MCPS testing, would fail on purpose to take test or quiz over for no penality (great policy MCPS, NO).Went away to college Engineering again could have cared less about his grades or even the level of college he was at. It was a B tier engineering program. Graduated with a not great GPA again could not care less. His career, better than his siblings that went off to Ivies, who cared about grades, etc....

Difference is he's my most motivated by working. It took us a long time as parents to parent him differently than his siblings. For me more than my DH, it was so hard to let go. But, once we did he showed us his best. All we can ask as parents.

Anonymous wrote:OP’s kid is the same as 99% of teenage boys now and in 2000 and in 1980. He’s probably not going to be a deadbeat. Damn y’all are pessimists!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s just average? That’s OK, you know. Is he happy? Does he have friends?

+1. My teen DS plays more videogames than I'd like but I've learned that it's how he and his friends like to socialize. He's not at all competitive, doesn't like to join school teams/ clubs, but does well in class and, most importantly, he's kind and has good friends. He won't go to a college that DCUM finds impressive but I'm confident he'll find his way in life and be happy.

On DCUM a child is “average” because they “only” got a 1300 on the SAT or got a couple more Bs than As or only made district titles rather than state!

Grades are no longer a measure of success. ACT/SAT scores and college readiness rates are sliding, yet 50% of all 12th graders in the US have an A average GPA. Teens are several grade levels behind while maintaining As and Bs.

Do not look at your painfully unmotivated lazy child and pretend everything is ok because they have decent grades — EVERYONE has decent grades now. Nearly half the kids who begin college fail or drop out because they’re so many grade levels behind and have no discipline and no study skills.

NO EVERYONE does not have decent grades. I hate that DCUM perpetuates this lie. Plenty of kids in MCPS still struggle, and are "unimpressive". It's a very tough area to be average.

In 2019 my niece graduated from a half-decent public school district with a 3.33 GPA. Her parents bragged she was an As and Bs student who never had to study. She then decided to take classes at the local two-year community college, which required placement tests. She tested into remedial courses that were on par with 7th grade level material.

Grades are meaningless – especially non-honors and non-AP courses. And really, AP grades mean nothing if the kid can't earn at least a 3 on the AP Exam. Many kids take AP courses, get inflated grades, then totally skip or bomb the exams.

My adult DD’s friend got top grades but didn’t take her AP exams and got a 1350 M+V on the SAT. She is a second year med student.

Anonymous wrote:OP’s kid is the same as 99% of teenage boys now and in 2000 and in 1980. He’s probably not going to be a deadbeat. Damn y’all are pessimists!

Anonymous wrote:OP’s kid is the same as 99% of teenage boys now and in 2000 and in 1980. He’s probably not going to be a deadbeat. Damn y’all are pessimists!