Anonymous wrote:

We are both adults, too old for childish games. I cannot tell you what to do or how to behave, but I can tell you how your actions make me feel, and what they make me think. In my opinion, your attachment with your ex-wife is unhealthy, and limits any growth we could have for the things we discuss about a future. If we cannot get on the same page about this, then it is only fair we be honest about how far this can go. I’m 33, and AMA is 24 months away. If we are not on the same timeline, or we do not respect the same boundaries,it is only fair to open the door to other options. I love you enough to let you go, but I love myself enough to not compromise on what is best for me and my future family.


And leave it at that. But I sense he is going to give lip service and get better at hiding. I would probably leave if he didn’t initiate things to show I could trust him.

Do they have children together?

yeah, except, she already told him this. more than once. And he swore he was not talking to his ex. So on top of everything, he's lied.

No more chances. How long will it take him to go back to his ex (in some fashion or other) once OP dumps him? a day?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was with my ex 10 years and for a DECADE after we broke up anytime I’d call, usually when I was in between relationships and feeling low, he’d come running. Regardless of the other women he was in relationships with. I finally went complete no contact when I found out that during a spell where we’d been out of contact, he’d gotten married and had a baby.

You know how I found out? From the new wife who was calling me to find out who I was and why I was planning a trip to come visit her husband.

I felt terrible, because I’d had no idea. Turns out, he’d told her something similar to what your BF told you OP, about how I’d been a part of his life for so long. We were absolutely planning on sleeping together, but I thought I was dealing with a single man...because I never lost access. All the while the wife knows we were in contact but my ex kept saying there was nothing for her to worry about.

OP, your BF’s ex may not even know you exist. You need to dump him.

Right so you used him for sex for a DECADE after you broke up and you were surprised he simultaneously moved on with his life and boinked you too. He got caught - that’s all that happened. Did you think he was just wallowing around for a DECADE waiting for your call in between your relationships? You’re deranged.

Um, I think the deranged one is the guy, who thought he could keep all this from his wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was with my ex 10 years and for a DECADE after we broke up anytime I’d call, usually when I was in between relationships and feeling low, he’d come running. Regardless of the other women he was in relationships with. I finally went complete no contact when I found out that during a spell where we’d been out of contact, he’d gotten married and had a baby.

You know how I found out? From the new wife who was calling me to find out who I was and why I was planning a trip to come visit her husband.

I felt terrible, because I’d had no idea. Turns out, he’d told her something similar to what your BF told you OP, about how I’d been a part of his life for so long. We were absolutely planning on sleeping together, but I thought I was dealing with a single man...because I never lost access. All the while the wife knows we were in contact but my ex kept saying there was nothing for her to worry about.

OP, your BF’s ex may not even know you exist. You need to dump him.

Right so you used him for sex for a DECADE after you broke up and you were surprised he simultaneously moved on with his life and boinked you too. He got caught - that’s all that happened. Did you think he was just wallowing around for a DECADE waiting for your call in between your relationships? You’re deranged.

Anonymous wrote:I was with my ex 10 years and for a DECADE after we broke up anytime I’d call, usually when I was in between relationships and feeling low, he’d come running. Regardless of the other women he was in relationships with. I finally went complete no contact when I found out that during a spell where we’d been out of contact, he’d gotten married and had a baby.

You know how I found out? From the new wife who was calling me to find out who I was and why I was planning a trip to come visit her husband.

I felt terrible, because I’d had no idea. Turns out, he’d told her something similar to what your BF told you OP, about how I’d been a part of his life for so long. We were absolutely planning on sleeping together, but I thought I was dealing with a single man...because I never lost access. All the while the wife knows we were in contact but my ex kept saying there was nothing for her to worry about.

OP, your BF’s ex may not even know you exist. You need to dump him.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are a prop in their ongoing saga. I would move on.

Anonymous wrote:
I can’t tell you what to do, but I can say that this is as good as it gets. This phase when you’re dating and thinking about marriage is the easiest time in a relationship. If you’re feeling frustrated now, imagine how you’re going to feel when you’re living together and he forgot to take out the trash and left his wet clothes in the washer... AND then a text from the ex pops on his phone...