Anonymous
09/03/2020 07:56
Subject: Should I get back together with him?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think I would just move on. You don't sound very excited aout him, you just seem anoyed he didn't fit into your schedule. I understand getting nervous at 35, but you don't want to rush it, or just get a ring so you can have the marriage and the baby, only to be divorcing by the time the kid is 3.
I would see other people and see what happens.
OP here. I’m very into. I’m in love with him but I’m also not going to stay in a relationship that never turns into anything else. I know many women who have stayed with the idea that they would eventually get married and it never happened. I was upfront many times that I’m looking for marriage.
My husband and I were together for 6 yrs before we got married, and lived together for 4. A year is nothing, if you love him and everything else is fine. You will waste another year or two trying to find someone else.....
At what age? Do you have kids?
I was 37 when we got married, and he was 32. Unable to have biological children.
Sorry, have you tried assisted fertility? Both of you tested? Any other health problems? I would not give up. Keep trying. Curious if not having a family changes things for your marriage?
Anonymous
09/03/2020 07:53
Subject: Re:Should I get back together with him?
Anonymous wrote:pp here-whoops, sorry reading fail. I see you did tell him you wanted "by a year." is it one year on the dot? this is hard because its possible he was very serious about proposing soon, or its possible he was not. But I still dont think that he's going to marry someone he doesn't want to marry just beause you broke up.
Why dont you give it a few weeks, see how you feel without him and vice versa. then go out to dinner. fwiw, DH broke up with me after a few months of dating. after I finally got over it, he got back in contact. I really didn't know whether to see him again. all my friends told me to keep moving. on. I agreed on dinner. we are on year 12 of a fairly stable marriage now. Once we got back together he never wavered.
“By a year” From when you first started dating or from when you initially had the marriage talk. When did you communicate all this?
Anonymous
09/03/2020 07:33
Subject: Should I get back together with him?
Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, why don’t you propose to HIM? You’re the one on a mission.
Bad idea. Common sage advice is the man should love the woman more than she loves him. Don’t emasculate him.
A woman proposing only works if the couple is ultra modern.
Agreed, your hard stop timeline is unreasonable if he’s the one. Team ex bf.
Anonymous
09/03/2020 07:11
Subject: Should I get back together with him?
Sure he wants to get back together, but he’s been hurt. Look for him to distance a little. Don’t cling to him like a suction cup now that “you’re getting married soon.” It’s going to be a rough couple of months until you get your groove back. Take it cool for the holidays, let him take the lead.
Anonymous
09/03/2020 01:03
Subject: Should I get back together with him?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You say you had many talks about marriage during your relationship. What was his position on getting married? How old is he?
OP here. We have at least a dozen conversations about marriage and he always said he wants to get married. We have been dating since May 2019. He is 37.
This is relatively just over a year - which you have had a dozen marriage related conversations. That’s a lot of pressure in a short period. I’m sure he heard it the first few times loud and clear. Take your space and see what happens. You either want a life together or don’t. But you broke it off so that tells me you are moving on. Don’t rush this next relationship. Freeze your eggs. A good partner is worth the wait, a mismatched is a lifelong headache if sharing a child.