Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS 8 had his first soccer practice last night on a new team. The coach was playing some game trying to help the kids learn each other names. Like kick the ball and say their name. I’ll admit it was a little bit babyish. My DS couldn’t remember any of the names so coach pointed to a kid and said “hey, why don’t you ask him to tell you his name.” My DS was kind of rude and said “I don’t really care what his name is.” I think he just thought the game was silly. The coach got upset and made my DS dribble the ball around the soccer field once. Honestly this just upset my DS more and he was pretty mouthy the rest of the practice. I do not think the coach handled this way. My DS didn’t know a kids name, on the first day of practice, and then got embarrassed, so he said something stupid. DH thinks I should leave it alone, but the “running laps” As punishment thing is really bothering me. I didn’t think coaches still did that.

Your son is a little brat. And if he ever works at a summer camp or goes to a college (or high school) orientation, he’ll be expected to play “silly” icebreaker games like that.

I've had icebreaker games on the job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds really bratty, OP--my 8yo would never mouth off at an adult like that. And that you're here defending him suggests it's an entrenched parenting problem.

Sounds like the coach was trying to humiliate the kid. The kid talked back.

The kid is brave. He is not there to be humiliated by the coach. This is not the army.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well OP, Five pages of consent with I think a lone dissenter? Almost unheard of on DCUM. I guess you have your answer. Please be sure to tell your husband that we all agree with him.

I actually disagree with OP’s DH. OP should not leave it alone. She should apologize to the coach for her son’s rude behavior and getting off on the wrong foot, and tell him she will encourage him to behave better in the future.

Her son should apologize as well as OP. My child would have had consequences at home as well.

Anonymous wrote:Well OP, Five pages of consent with I think a lone dissenter? Almost unheard of on DCUM. I guess you have your answer. Please be sure to tell your husband that we all agree with him.

I actually disagree with OP’s DH. OP should not leave it alone. She should apologize to the coach for her son’s rude behavior and getting off on the wrong foot, and tell him she will encourage him to behave better in the future.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m in the minority. Kids this age say stupid stuff. When my kids make comments like this, I just ignore because I know it’s developmentally appropriate. Plus, my children are allowed to think things are silly, or not fun. I do not expect them to just comply because an adult is telling them to do something.

So if a teacher tells your kid to do something and your kid doesn’t want to do it, you are cool with that? Wow. A coach is the same as a teacher. Teach your kid some respect and manners.

Also, if this is truly what you believe, please don't sign your kid up for any sports. Learning a sport is all about complying because an adult is telling you to do something.

The drill was reasonable and the punishment was fair. Pull it together before the next practice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m in the minority. Kids this age say stupid stuff. When my kids make comments like this, I just ignore because I know it’s developmentally appropriate. Plus, my children are allowed to think things are silly, or not fun. I do not expect them to just comply because an adult is telling them to do something.

For an EIGHT year old??

You're a crappy parent. Rudeness may happen in kids, yes - it also needs to be corrected. It's how they learn. It is *never* developmentally appropriate for a parent to ignore their kid's disrespect of anyone.

Thank you!

Can I just say that it drives me nuts when people think that you should just ignore all behavior that's developmentally appropriate.

It is absolutely developmentally appropriate for an elementary school child to still be learning to filter what they say, and to word things appropriately. That's why we, as adults, supervise elementary school aged kids, and provide structured opportunities like soccer practice to teach them how to do these things. Giving kids feedback on their rudeness while it's still within the normal limits is how you get them ready for middle school when kids will simply lose friends for something like this or adulthood when they'll lose jobs. The coach handled this well, IMO.

I always wonder if people who think that you can't correct things that are developmentally appropriate apply this thinking to academics. I know it's developmentally appropriate for my 3 year old to count " 1 2 5", I even smile at how cute he is. But I also say "hey let me sing you this cool counting song", and model correct counting because I know from my older kids that he's going to grow up way too fast, and at some point counting "1 2 5" won't be developmentally appropriate anymore.

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was about parental punishment. Totally fine for a coach to do this. I was once in a grocery store and a dad made his kid do push ups in the aisle for doing something stupid but harmless. I felt so terrible for the kid.

OP, please please please come back here after the next practice and tell us that the coach made YOU run laps for your nasty attitude. We could all use a little pick me up these days.

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m in the minority. Kids this age say stupid stuff. When my kids make comments like this, I just ignore because I know it’s developmentally appropriate. Plus, my children are allowed to think things are silly, or not fun. I do not expect them to just comply because an adult is telling them to do something.

So if a teacher tells your kid to do something and your kid doesn’t want to do it, you are cool with that? Wow. A coach is the same as a teacher. Teach your kid some respect and manners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m in the minority. Kids this age say stupid stuff. When my kids make comments like this, I just ignore because I know it’s developmentally appropriate. Plus, my children are allowed to think things are silly, or not fun. I do not expect them to just comply because an adult is telling them to do something.

This has to be a troll. Are you 8?

Ha!

Anonymous wrote:Well OP, Five pages of consent with I think a lone dissenter? Almost unheard of on DCUM. I guess you have your answer. Please be sure to tell your husband that we all agree with him.

Lol. Shes sooo not telling him.

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was about parental punishment. Totally fine for a coach to do this. I was once in a grocery store and a dad made his kid do push ups in the aisle for doing something stupid but harmless. I felt so terrible for the kid.

I agree, I think this is a lousy punishment in a home context. But in athletics, I think that the logical consequence of bullying your teammates is that you don't get to be with them for a while, and that, given that the coaches is responsibility is to develop their athletic skills, giving them a more boring way to continue to work on skills is also very logical.

I thought this was about parental punishment. Totally fine for a coach to do this. I was once in a grocery store and a dad made his kid do push ups in the aisle for doing something stupid but harmless. I felt so terrible for the kid.

Team Coach.
How do you and your son think the other kid felt when your son said “I don’t really care what his name is”?

Coach is the authority figure and your son needs to go along with what the coach asks, even if your child “thinks it’s babyish.” Your kid had an attitude and the coach let him know it wouldn’t be tolerated. Not really a big deal, and he did your kid a favor. Your kid can now decide if he wants to (1) sulk, let his mother bring it up to the coach, and signal to the coach that he’s not going to be a good team community mm we or (2) let it go, learn from it, and be a valued member of the team.

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m in the minority. Kids this age say stupid stuff. When my kids make comments like this, I just ignore because I know it’s developmentally appropriate. Plus, my children are allowed to think things are silly, or not fun. I do not expect them to just comply because an adult is telling them to do something.

For an EIGHT year old??

You're a crappy parent. Rudeness may happen in kids, yes - it also needs to be corrected. It's how they learn. It is *never* developmentally appropriate for a parent to ignore their kid's disrespect of anyone.