Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My DH makes slightly more than that range now, and I make about 200K. Even though we could theoretically live off of his income alone, he's always been very clear that he wants me to continue working and thinks it's risky to be relying on just one income.

Sure, but if he lost his job, how long could the family get by on just yours? If you couldn’t then how much risk are you really mitigating by working?

I'm not the PP and we do not earn as much, but we have based our financial decisions (such as buying our house) on being able to get by on the lower earner's salary alone. My husband's job is facing some uncertainty right now (series of company-wide layoffs) and it's stressful of course, but we know that we can pay the bills on my salary.

I am the original PP (DH makes a little under 400K, I make 200K) and this is how we made our major financial decisions as well - when we bought our house last year we wanted to make sure we could pay our mortgage etc on my salary alone (which is very stable b/c it is a gov't job) if something happened with DH's job. To be sure, if he lost his job outright, we would not be able to save much (if at all) but we could still get by month to month. I think his concern is less about losing his job entirely (which is unlikely) but more about what would happen if he made less money at some point (which is entirely possible now thanks to COVID - for sure he will make less this year than last). In order to hedge against that, he believes strongly I should continue working. As I said, I have no interest in being an SAHM anyway, but I did not expect him to be so insistent about it.

Smart. I make $200k and have great Fed health benefits. DH makes 350-500k depending on project or year.

We always based everything on lower salary. Two homes in two hot neighborhoods paid off and $3.6 million now.

Neither of us really respect people with zero desire to earn a living or equivalent in volunteer/social work. Physical attraction is what got us together in our 20s—but perfect credit scores and good careers sealed the deal. I would never give up my salary or retirement.

Wait, am I reading this right? You don't respect people who do social work? Wtf?

Wait, am I reading this right? You don't respect people who do social work? Wtf?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My DH makes slightly more than that range now, and I make about 200K. Even though we could theoretically live off of his income alone, he's always been very clear that he wants me to continue working and thinks it's risky to be relying on just one income.

Sure, but if he lost his job, how long could the family get by on just yours? If you couldn’t then how much risk are you really mitigating by working?

I'm not the PP and we do not earn as much, but we have based our financial decisions (such as buying our house) on being able to get by on the lower earner's salary alone. My husband's job is facing some uncertainty right now (series of company-wide layoffs) and it's stressful of course, but we know that we can pay the bills on my salary.

I am the original PP (DH makes a little under 400K, I make 200K) and this is how we made our major financial decisions as well - when we bought our house last year we wanted to make sure we could pay our mortgage etc on my salary alone (which is very stable b/c it is a gov't job) if something happened with DH's job. To be sure, if he lost his job outright, we would not be able to save much (if at all) but we could still get by month to month. I think his concern is less about losing his job entirely (which is unlikely) but more about what would happen if he made less money at some point (which is entirely possible now thanks to COVID - for sure he will make less this year than last). In order to hedge against that, he believes strongly I should continue working. As I said, I have no interest in being an SAHM anyway, but I did not expect him to be so insistent about it.

Smart. I make $200k and have great Fed health benefits. DH makes 350-500k depending on project or year.

We always based everything on lower salary. Two homes in two hot neighborhoods paid off and $3.6 million now.

Neither of us really respect people with zero desire to earn a living or equivalent in volunteer/social work. Physical attraction is what got us together in our 20s—but perfect credit scores and good careers sealed the deal. I would never give up my salary or retirement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience it varies by age of the guy and also how much he is making. Don't hold me to the numbers strictly, but to generalize, a guy making 70k doesn't really care if the woman makes 40k and may be intimidated by someone making significantly more than him. The guy making 700k doesn't really care if the woman doesn't make much because they make enough where her income doesn't matter. The guys who make +/- 125k-300k care the most. This is prime dual income territory where your lifestyle is going to look a lot different if both people are working and making in that range vs. one medium income earner and one low. I've observed that the younger the guy, the more likely they are to care. Partially for the pure money alone, but they seem to be put off by women who don't attempt to build a career in their 20s who want to be supported. They seem to like the "power couple" ideal more than being valued primarily as breadwinners.

When DH and I married, I was 28, making around $50K at a nonprofit with a ton of student loan debt (dumb.). He was 36 and making around $200k and while he wasn't crazy about the debt, he really didn't seem to mind the income disparity. But I wasn't comfortable with him making so much more than me so I switched industries and hit low 6-figures about 3 years after we got married, it's made me much more confident in making money decisions and holding financial conversations with DH.