It's significant to parents because we are holding on to our kids for only 1 or 2 more years.

But, HS is such a SMALL fraction of their lives.

I didn't love HS. In fact, I didn't attend my 30th because I didn't know or remember most of the people on the RSVP list.

Life, for most of us, begins after HS. College is truly one of the most formative times in our lives. Then, post college; then when you meet your mate, have kids.

Just trying to give you perspective. Also, FWIW, I'm in a rut because this pandemic, and the state of our country under a moron, is pretty crappy right now. None of us have much to look forward to right now.

You are right OP. These are posters are shrewish morons.

Anonymous wrote:I seriously hope that my senior doesn’t find this year to be one of the most significant parts of life. We’re all weathering this unexpected change in the way education is delivered just fine. I actually only know a handful of people who think HS is a best part of life.

Nobody is saying it’s the most significant part of life. But it is a part of life. A milestone when you’re only 18 years old. And it’s sad they are missing it. Life is short and hard, ya know? Senior year is fun times, of at least should be, for many kids.

Anonymous wrote:DD is a rising senior in a district that is going 100% virtual. I think it’s quite likely it will remain virtual all year. So DD will have missed the last quarter of her junior year and her entire senior year - the most significant parts of HS. If this happened at 32, it would be no biggie. But Junior and Senior years of HS! These are some of the most fun and memory making years in life! Yes, I realize that people have gone through worse, but still. My heart is just so heavy that she will be missing out on a very significant time of life.

Two things:

1) You know what? 10 or 20 years from now, young people will be romanticizing this time and wishing they had been part of it. My brother got a high lottery number in the draft in the 70s and so missed going to Vietnam - we were relieved of course - and years later, when people were making films about Vietnam vets, he wished he had gone. (!!!!!)
2) For a lot of people, high school sucked and other eras of our lives have much more meaning. (For me, it was grad school.) Might have been the same for your daughter.

But all that said, it's rough on everyone and I hope she survives okay and makes some good memories in other ways.

Your kid has no idea what her senior year was “supposed” to be. It just is what it is. Her memories will be different than yours, but that doesn’t make them bad. Quit projecting on her and just let her enjoy the time.

Anonymous wrote:I have noticed that during those final days leading up to high school graduation, there is usually at least one devastating tragedy. Senior student dies in a fat car crash 3 days before graduation, etc. This year my town didn't have such a tragedy. Perhaps that is an upside.

Personally I wonder if large family weddings where people fly in from all over the country will be a thing of the past and that makes me sad for my daughters since I loved our large extended family wedding and I wonder if they will have the same someday.

I’m sure those types of weddings will still happen and there’s just as likely a chance that your daughter wouldn’t want anything like that. I feel like this type of thinking leads to parents (not necessarily you, PP) putting too much pressure, even inadvertently, on kids to do things a certain way instead of living their lives on their own terms.

OP, your daughter will have different significant moments than you did, but that doesn’t mean she’s missing out. Think of Jewish people who have bar/bat mitzvahs or people who have quinceaneras, do people part of cultures who don’t have these things feel like they missed out on significant memories? No, because they have different significant memories that are just as significant for them.

Fatal not fat.

I have noticed that during those final days leading up to high school graduation, there is usually at least one devastating tragedy. Senior student dies in a fat car crash 3 days before graduation, etc. This year my town didn't have such a tragedy. Perhaps that is an upside.

Personally I wonder if large family weddings where people fly in from all over the country will be a thing of the past and that makes me sad for my daughters since I loved our large extended family wedding and I wonder if they will have the same someday.

Niece think of the kids who died, or had a parent or sibling die, or had a parent lose their job. Then count your significant blessings that you even have the capacity to whine about this.

I sincerely hope this is the saddest thing that happens to your DC in life. We all dream of perfection but sometimes it doesn’t happen.

My rising senior is thrilled her school will be DL. She is happy to be away from the social drama and pressures and we are now able to stay, for the time being, in another part of the country that is much nicer and more fun than DC and has much lower virus rates.

Personally, I found high school miserable compared to college.

Anonymous wrote:Most people who are more successful don't care that much about their high school experience after they graduate. It's not really that important.

I am by most mesasures, successful: success in my career, married for over 20 years, two healthy, happy teenagers. And still, high school, especially senior year, holds some of my most vivid and happy memories for me. My rising senior, hopefully, will just never really know what he's missing, so I don't project that on to him, but OP, I do know how you're feeling. I am confident that schools will be back full time by December.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is a rising senior in a district that is going 100% virtual. I think it’s quite likely it will remain virtual all year. So DD will have missed the last quarter of her junior year and her entire senior year - the most significant parts of HS. If this happened at 32, it would be no biggie. But Junior and Senior years of HS! These are some of the most fun and memory making years in life! Yes, I realize that people have gone through worse, but still. My heart is just so heavy that she will be missing out on a very significant time of life.

I have a rising senior too and think you being melodramatic. It isn’t about you. Get a grip. The kids will be Ok.

+1

Try reframing with your daughter (or yourself) what you think of as fun, the upsides, or how you look at the day to day in general. More family time; time with friends (for us outside with masks) is special and really makes you think about who you want to spend time with; no prom, but maybe a special family event; more time for art, music, reading; and maybe you can come up with some perks of DL too. And there are plenty more. From an adult perspective, maybe this means less social pressure day to day for kids; fewer things like drinking parties; special time with our teens before they go to college; a glimpse, through Zoom, into what goes on in the classroom; etc.

Also, yes, high school and friendships can be very special, but most kids who go off to college keep in touch with a small subset of HS friends...those friendships will survive this, and I'm guessing once this is over college will be especially fun! Party like it's 1999!