The baby isn’t a red flag. But the babysitter? Abso-freaking-lutely.

Anonymous wrote:You are dating a guy that divorced his pregnant wife or wife with a newborn baby. There are bigger issues here.

OP said they talked about it, and she's fine with whatever happened there.

Anonymous wrote:You are dating a guy that divorced his pregnant wife or wife with a newborn baby. There are bigger issues here.

GFY. OP has already said she is fine with the situation and is asking specifically about babysitting.

You are dating a guy that divorced his pregnant wife or wife with a newborn baby. There are bigger issues here.

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I think it's incredibly selfish if you would go out with him knowing he is using a babysitter. He is a horrible parent!

This is nonsense. Just stop.

Seriously, stop. A horrible parent? That is ludicrous.

What would you suggest? He's picking a woman he barely knows over kids he sees half the time. His kids!

Ok, so married parents who get babysitters to go out for the evening are also horrible parents, because they are picking each other over their kids. Their kids!

Married people see their kids every dy of evey week not 14 days out of month. 1 evening out of 30 is different than 1 out of 14.

My DH traveled a lot for work, he saw the kids less than 14 days a month. We would still get a sitter and had our date nights.

And that was shitty.

Parents going out to eat is shitty?

Let me guess, you must be in a sexless marriage.

NP. You are an anomaly and for many people esp non-military it sounds like a shitty situation. Your circumstances aren’t the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

I think it's incredibly selfish if you would go out with him knowing he is using a babysitter. He is a horrible parent!

This is nonsense. Just stop.

Seriously, stop. A horrible parent? That is ludicrous.

What would you suggest? He's picking a woman he barely knows over kids he sees half the time. His kids!

Ok, so married parents who get babysitters to go out for the evening are also horrible parents, because they are picking each other over their kids. Their kids!

Married people see their kids every dy of evey week not 14 days out of month. 1 evening out of 30 is different than 1 out of 14.

My DH traveled a lot for work, he saw the kids less than 14 days a month. We would still get a sitter and had our date nights.

And that was shitty.

Parents going out to eat is shitty?

Let me guess, you must be in a sexless marriage.

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Anonymous wrote:All I can say is I never want to see another single parent proclaim in a thread " my kids come first.". Ever. Because it's a lie.

Yeah getting a sitter once in a while really demonstrates your kids don’t come first.

Don't blame me. That (has been) the DCUM mantra of dating single parents. "my kids, their need come first. Always.". It's fine if your kids don't always come first. I just find it funny.

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Anonymous wrote:I think the bigger red flag is that he has a two year old and has been dating you for months. Which means to me that unless he divorced his wife while pregnant he is newly out of a long term relationship and has not done the work to figure out why his past relationship did not work out.

OP here. We've talked and I'm comfortable with that part. My main concern is him using a babysitter to see me and is that a red flag.

Why are you dating a single dad? Gain some self esteem and find someone without baggage.

If you refer to kids as “baggage” you are a garbage human being.

So now you care about the kids? Ha!

While I think calling kids baggage is tacky. I think for the most part people without kids should avoid dating people with kids, it's just less complicated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think it's incredibly selfish if you would go out with him knowing he is using a babysitter. He is a horrible parent!

This is nonsense. Just stop.

Seriously, stop. A horrible parent? That is ludicrous.

What would you suggest? He's picking a woman he barely knows over kids he sees half the time. His kids!

Ok, so married parents who get babysitters to go out for the evening are also horrible parents, because they are picking each other over their kids. Their kids!

Married people see their kids every dy of evey week not 14 days out of month. 1 evening out of 30 is different than 1 out of 14.

Those kids are seeing a parent (one or the other) 29 evenings out of 30 so they are getting exactly the same amount of parental attention as if both parents went out for one night and got a sitter. Try again, using math.

Those kids are seeing mom and dad every day. OP's boyfriend's kids are seeing him 14 days a month or maybe 10 or 12 depending on how much time he feels like seeing his GF.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the bigger red flag is that he has a two year old and has been dating you for months. Which means to me that unless he divorced his wife while pregnant he is newly out of a long term relationship and has not done the work to figure out why his past relationship did not work out.

OP here. We've talked and I'm comfortable with that part. My main concern is him using a babysitter to see me and is that a red flag.

Why are you dating a single dad? Gain some self esteem and find someone without baggage.

If you refer to kids as “baggage” you are a garbage human being.

Anonymous wrote:All I can say is I never want to see another single parent proclaim in a thread " my kids come first.". Ever. Because it's a lie.

Yeah getting a sitter once in a while really demonstrates your kids don’t come first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think it's incredibly selfish if you would go out with him knowing he is using a babysitter. He is a horrible parent!

This is nonsense. Just stop.

Seriously, stop. A horrible parent? That is ludicrous.

What would you suggest? He's picking a woman he barely knows over kids he sees half the time. His kids!

Ok, so married parents who get babysitters to go out for the evening are also horrible parents, because they are picking each other over their kids. Their kids!

Married people see their kids every dy of evey week not 14 days out of month. 1 evening out of 30 is different than 1 out of 14.

Those kids are seeing a parent (one or the other) 29 evenings out of 30 so they are getting exactly the same amount of parental attention as if both parents went out for one night and got a sitter. Try again, using math.

So the guy is supposed to spend 50% of his life at home or with his kids at all time now that he is divorced? I would take it as a negative signal if he's NOT willing to get a baby sitter to go on a date with you because it means he's not that interested in you. Getting a babysitter to go on a date is just a normal thing that everybody does. I don't even know why you would post about it, OP.